Companionship vs Marriage

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By today’s definition, companionship doesn’t mean what it used to. Now and days, people use it as a term to define an alternative to marriage. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve heard a single person say that they are not looking for marriage, they just want companionship. This desire is expressed often by individuals that have tried marriage before, and find its rigors too taxing on them to ante up one more time. Some of them are saying that they no longer believe in the institution of marriage. I don’t think opinions like this is a positive commentary on the values of society, but rather a very sad one. Like the misuse of companionship, it speaks to how far men and women have strayed away from God’s standard.

God intended companionship to be a very advantageous part of a relationship.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NLT) tells us, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

God wants us to understand the benefits of companionship so that we steer clear of selfishness, but people have completely turned this around. Companionship to them represents a relationship that allows them to be comfortable without giving too much of themselves. Some people see it as a way to get all of the conveniences of sharing each other’s company, and none of the inconveniences that would cause them to make a stronger commitment, strengthen their faith, and learn to totally lean upon God.

Don’t Settle

Companionship rather than marriage is a choice that we are all free to make, but if you’re walking down that road instead of the proverbial pedal-sprinkled aisle, make sure that you’re not settling. It is entirely possible for a man and woman to connect and develop a deep and life-long friendship without the commitment of marriage. The significant component is to make sure that this is something God wants for you as well. Sustaining a companionship that is fulfilling to you, but also pleasing to God, requires a very mature and careful walk; because sexual sin cannot be in the picture. You may need more than a platonic relationship, and if you do, don’t feel the least bit awkward about it.  Own the fact that you want more for yourself and trust God to give it to you.

It takes two to build strength

God tells us in Ecclesiastes 4:9 that two people are better off than one. Two people that are joined together in affection and respect for one another are happier being united than they would be apart. They are concerned about each other’s welfare and have each other’s back. They are united in strength, and it is the strength of this union that Heavenly Father wants to bless and preserve. God will bless a companionship as long as it remains platonic, but He will not go outside the guidelines of His Word. Companionship cannot be a license to sin. A union that is not holy according to God’s standard is one that leaves both individuals exposed to constant attacks by the enemy.

Transitioning into Marriage

For two people who adore one another, enjoy each other’s company, and have mutual respect; companionship can be a wonderful precursor to marriage. It can be a healthy bridge to strengthening the relationship while also developing an appreciation and familiarity with each other’s qualities. One of the greatest aspects of companionship is that it provides you with the opportunity to communicate clearly and forthrightly about your expectations.

As you progress in spiritual maturity, it is inevitable that your relationships will be impacted. Limbo is not a state of advancement or promotion for anyone. It’s not God’s best. All romantic relationships reach a point when a pivotal decision will need to be made. Refusing to be honest with yourself about this will only cause you to become stagnant and unproductive in your life. Don’t try to hang on to someone that isn’t willing to journey forward with you. When you reach this point, lean on your faith in God and have a very frank and open conversation with the other person about whether the relationship will go to the next level or whether it is one that no longer serves either of you.

Marriage is a beautiful covenant between two people, but there are some singles who will find that it’s not something they want for themselves. This is perfectly okay, but again, the most important thing is to seek God before you make this decision. Make sure that He is pleased with your choice, and He will bless you to thrive in whatever is best for your relationship with Him and your growth in Christ Jesus.


Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

“Companionship vs Marriage” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2016.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

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