1/30/2012

Three VERY Important Questions

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If you’re a single Christian seeking to get married and are not getting what you desire, it’s time to do some evaluating to find out why. 2Corinthians 13:5-6 (The Message) says "Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don't drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups.You need firsthand evidence, not mere hearsay, that Jesus Christ is in you. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it." This verse lets us know very succinctly that while we're thinking that we've got it going on, we can unknowingly fall off the mark. We can assume that we're doing all the right things when quite the opposite is true. Proverbs 14:12(The Message) gets straight to the point. It says "There's a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again—it leads straight to hell." As a single person who is allowing Jesus Christ to spearhead your efforts to partner, you must always ask yourself the tough questions to ensure that your motives, intentions, and aspirations are within God's Will for your life. Here are three VERY important questions to consider.

Are you too comfortable?

I happen to know a few dynamite Christian brothers who are single. They are attractive, well-dressed, well-mannered, accomplished, and desiring a Godly woman. These men are considered to be the crème de la crème...beautifully appointed, but after listening to each of them express their wish-list of qualities they'd like to find in a woman, I'm convinced that they will be single for a very, very long time.

Their desire is for a woman who will make them comfortable with where they are right now. She can't have any characteristics or flaws that might cause a disruption in the nice, comfy lives they have carved out for themselves. Their minds are made up and they are convinced that they're on the right track. It's almost useless to try and tell them that God might have a plan that is quite different from what they've envisioned.

These men believe that God's best means something entirely different from what the Word declares. They ought to be looking for a virtuous woman who has the kind of firsthand evidence that Christ is real and present in her life, like it says in 2Corinthians 13:5. But they seem to be more interested in what she can do for THEM than what she will do for the Kingdom.

One thing that God will not do-- is make a sinful situation comfortable for you. If the desires of your flesh are overshadowing the desire of God's heart to see you grow more in Christ, then you will not see any movement in your situation. You won't get the rewards, and you won't have the kind of relationship you need, because you are allowing your flesh to run the show. As a single person you have to wake up and come to grips with the reality of how far or how close you are to what it means to truly extend God's love. You have to check out your own wish-list and recognize that when it comes to His plan for your life, that list might need some tweaking.

Back in the Garden of Eden, Adam was going along, minding his own business and doing just fine, but he was lonely. It was never God's intention that he should be alone, so the Father gave him a woman. The dynamics that transpired between the two of them is notorious. Eve caused quite a stir in Adam's life. In many respects she made his life easier, but she certainly did some things that made his life a whole lot more complicated. The bottom line is that when it comes to the pursuit of a marital union, God didn't promise that we would be comfortable . As a matter of fact, two people coming together is one of the most uncomfortable things in the world. Realize that if your own desires to stay in your comfort zone are keeping you from moving forward in matrimony, odds are that they are keeping you stuck spiritually as well. Open your heart more and let the Lord help you work this out.

Are you following your inner compass?

All good things in life flow from a good healthy place. It’s healthy to want to be in a loving and committed relationship with someone who honors you, but if you forfeit the nurturing of your own spiritual growth for the sake of desiring a spouse, you still have much soul work to do. Your desire to partner is healthy, but it has to be matched by the type of spiritual strength needed to bring it to pass.

Your soul houses all of your desires, emotions, and feelings. This is the place where most of our past and current pain or hurt resides. God holds us responsible for doing the work on our own souls as it states in Philippians 2:12 (NLT), "Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear."

It’s critical for you to do the work on your own soul before you expect someone else to know how to love you. As an unmarried person, your goal should be to make sure that you are allowing the love of Jesus Christ to saturate those torn up places inside, but you have to be honest about where those places are, and why they are still holding you back. Then you can demonstrate God's love with real zest, allowing the indwelling Holy Spirit to continue to guide you in the right direction.

As a Christian, your mind and heart is the engine and your indwelling spirit is the guide. Together they can take you wherever the Father desires you to go. You should have every confidence that the gift inside your inner being will guide you to the treasure of a marital partner, but your mind and heart HAVE to be on the same page. The spirit guides. That is what he does. That's his job, and he is masterful at it. John 16:13 says that he won't speak on his own, but will only speak what he hears from God. This is God's guarantee that if you follow His lead you'll never go wrong.

You can't do the leading; that's not your job. Your job is to follow where the spirit leads—to follow your inner compass. But you can't hear clearly if you are too busy responding to stuff that has nothing to do with God's plan for your life. If you're hanging around the wrong folks, spending all of your time following after worldliness, how can you expect God to give you a Godly spouse? You've got to address the desires that cause you to want to expend your energies in the wrong places.

Listen, the world is crazy and there are some really sick people out there. Even some of us Christians are dysfunctional beyond anything many folks have ever seen. You think you've met the right person just because he or she is saved, but that's not necessarily the case. So you can't do this by yourself. You must have God's help. You have to make a conscious effort to move beyond your issues to be obedient and steadfast, so that you can hear God's directives through spiritual ears and then move as He leads, ONLY as He leads. Make sure that hearing God clearly is your main objective.

Is what YOU think is best in alignment with God's best?

Knowing the difference between what God deems is best for you and what you think is best is a process within itself. You've been around long enough to know what you desire in a marital partner, but sometimes what you desire isn't optimal for your continued spiritual journey in Christ. This is one of the most difficult areas for many single folks to face, particularly when it comes to a person's physical attributes.

Having a spouse with financial security, manicured nails, and a well crafted resume is great, but God is more concerned with you marrying someone who is going to continually push you to produce for the Kingdom. Your capacity to love with the love of God is really what's at stake here.

You can no longer camouflage the truth just so you can stay comfortable where you are. God is more concerned that you grow spiritually than He is about your level of comfort. The walls that you've constructed, those that keep your mind and heart closed, they have to come tumbling down. That’s what it all boils down to. Your growth in the Lord is what's best, and He is going to do everything possible to make sure you know more and grow more. It’s never about another person and what that human being can add to your life – it’s always about your personal, intimate standing on the Word of God, because that's the best.●   

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights
reserved.

"Three Very Important Questions"  written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2012. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

1/16/2012

We Reflect the Love
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Following the life of Jesus Christ is not only a responsibility, it's the highest privilege and honor. Becoming a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, is our first real act of love. It is an honest demonstration of surrendering and accepting pure love into our lives. Once we've made this transformative choice, life takes on purpose and direction, because God's love adds new meaning to our existence. 2Corinthians 5:17(NKJV) reads, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." Our born again reality extends an opportunity to transform our thoughts and put on new emotions of joy, peace, and thankfulness. God tells us in Ephesians 4:23(NIV) "to be made new in the attitude of your minds". We reflect the love in our hearts by renewing our minds to line up with God's Word, then we begin to live accordingly. A lot of us still struggle with this process.

Why do we struggle with renewing our minds? One of the reasons why some of us struggle with renewing our minds is because many of us are not quite sure what renewing the mind is all about. It's not a difficult concept. It requires that we understand three facts: #1) Every single person that was born after Adam and Eve has been born into sin. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about this. If you are walking this earth, you have a sinful nature. #2) Once you become born again, you can then receive the Holy Spirit and he will reside deep inside your soul. Your new birth reality makes this possible. You become a new creation because you have a new reality on the inside that totally changes you to a spirit-filled individual. You have the capacity to become stronger than you have ever been before—stronger than you could ever imagine. #3) Even though you have this power on the inside, your body still has the same nature. This nature, known as a flesh and blood nature, is very different from the nature of your new spiritual reality. The nature of your flesh can cause you to desire things that are very harmful to your spirit.

Romans 8:5-8 tells us," ⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. "

As a single woman, it is vitally important that you understand the huge impact that renewing your mind will have on your life and your quest to partner. The degree to which you renew your mind will determine the type of man you ultimately marry, because your heart and mind do the drawing. You must know concretely that you, as a spirit-filled individual, cannot be defined by the desires of your flesh. God has charged us with the responsibility of taking authority over our flesh. This means that we are not to let our decisions and choices be ruled by what our flesh wants. Our decisions and choices are to be governed by God's love.

In order for this to happen, we have to know a little something about God's love. We have to know what it looks like, what it feels like, what it does....we can learn all of this by studying His Word and learning about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Once you receive salvation, God doesn't open up your mind and pour His Word into it. He doesn't feed your brain cells with a healthy diet of scriptures. No! That's your job. You have to take the initiative to study to show yourself approved before God.(2Timothy 2:15)

God will not overstep your free-will. He will never change your thoughts. If God would change our thoughts, I will venture to say that we would be living in a very different world today. God's Will for all Christians is to think the same thoughts. How do I know that? Well, this is what His Word tells us. Look at 1Corinithians 1:10. It says "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought." This is the Father's heart. He wants us all to be perfectly united in mind and thought. Have you ever counted the number of different religions within the Christian faith alone? There are a lot of them—enough of them for us to know that we haven't even put a dent in the unity the Father desires for His church. We're more divided today than ever. So no, God will not change our thoughts; this is our responsibility.

To renew is the act of making something new again. Our minds were once new, almost like a blank slate. But as we grew into adults that slate was crammed with information and much of it is not good for our souls. A lot of the thoughts and attitudes that we have developed over the years cause us to reflect fear instead of love. Renewing the mind is the process of first confronting those old thoughts, known as our old man nature. We must then get rid of them and put on new thoughts in their place. Of course the new thoughts are those that are in alignment with God's Will and Word.

Renewing our minds is a crucial part of accepting God's love into our hearts. Once we accept our new reality in Christ, our thoughts and actions must line up with who we are through his love. As a Christian you have to know that the enemy does not want you to engage this process. There isn’t a day that goes by that your walk as a born-again believer will not be challenged by the devil or put under a spotlight. You must be ready! You must be diligent that your dealings with people on a daily basis do not indicate that you are anything less than the embodiment of Christ. These interactions will speak volumes about who you are and the degree to which you have renewed your mind.

Consider your job performance as an example. Your ability to deal effectively under pressure, the way you communicate with coworkers, and how you handle crisis or problematic situations; all of these are scrutinized daily and you may not even realize it. But when it's time for a promotion, I guarantee that all of these factors will weigh heavy in determining whether or not you receive the promotion you desire. In the same way, sometimes we wonder why it is that we are not further along in our quest to partner, and very often it's because we haven't taken the initiative to renew our minds properly. We don't study God's Word. We spend week after week committing to the same rituals. We fail to inject the newness of light, love, and life that we can only get from receiving and comprehending exciting, new revelations from the scriptures.

Our relationships with loved ones, spouses, our children and others should be a reflection of God's love. They are very good indicators of how strong or weak our relationship is with Him. This is why it is so essential to have Godly knowledge anchored in our minds and hearts. You have to make sure that you thoroughly understand what God is saying to you through His Word, so that you are rooted and grounded in that knowledge. Then you will make choices that truly reflect your new reality in Christ.

Take a look at Luke 6:44;

For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 45; For every tree is known by its own fruit. For [men] do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. 

You and I are the trees that Jesus Christ is talking about in this verse. What we do in our lifetime—the legacy of love that we leave—is the fruit that we produce.  So you see, we don’t have time to get down trodden when things don’t go our way in life. We don't have time to get stuck in condemnation and feel bad about ourselves. When the fellow you thought was the bomb doesn't call you back, kick that wondering why to the curb. Your primary focus is to shine the light of Christ—to affect the lives of people around you, and to reflect the love that you have so graciously received from Heavenly Father. He has given you the distinct honor of reflecting His love, because He knows that when you change your thoughts and transform inside, your outside reality will change as well.● 

1/09/2012

Not Your Will but God’s!

Over the holidays I decided to do some winter cleaning. I figured "Hey, let's bring in the New Year with a little less extra baggage."  If I hadn't used it in the last two years, or if it didn't serve a truly useful purpose in my life- it had to go! This was quite the chore, and I know that lots of other people make it a yearly ritual; it's a good one to have. I felt really positive about embracing the task at hand, because I knew that I would be blessing someone in the process, and getting rid of unnecessary clutter. But what I didn't anticipate was finding so many things that I didn't even know I had. It’s amazing what you’ll find in tucked away places.

The Spiritual Process of Preparation is a necessary practice for anyone who is expecting to receive something they have been praying for. God tells us in His Word that we are to put off the old man nature and put on the new man nature, which has been created within us through Christ Jesus. This is a foundational principle, because God's law dictates that in order to receive something more useful on our journeys through life, you and I are required to release that which no longer serves us. It's the art of surrendering.

As I was going through my things, I came across one of my old prayer books. It was filled with pictures and collages of what I wanted to have come to pass in my life at that particular time. I made that prayer book almost five years ago to the day. Along with the pictures, I had given myself a time line in which I had expected my prayers to be answered. I named it, “What I Believe to Receive”. I gave it that name because I needed to be able to physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually build my faith to match what I desired at the time. 

Prayer books have been truly instrumental in helping me focus my faith. The purpose of the prayer book is to remind myself to be steadfast and faithful, even when my circumstances seem to be going in the opposite direction of where them want to go. I also believe that we need to demonstrate to the Father that we are intentional about actively trusting and believing His promises.

Philippians 4:6(NLT) tells us "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." If you have a desire to be sincere in your effort to give God thanks, and you are thanking Him for something you haven't yet taken possession of in the natural, then it stands to reason that something supernatural is required of you. It would be difficult for a person to be thankful for something that they don't believe they will receive. So in order for you to be truly thankful to God, you must be convinced that even though you don't have the thing you've prayed for in the natural realm (in your physical environment), you've taken possession of it in the supernatural realm. You've claimed it, and you believe it will be yours. This, of course, is the practice of demonstrating faith. It is to be thankful to God for something that you haven't yet received, because you know in your heart of hearts that God will not fail you; therefore, you know you will receive it.

So as I looked at the pictures in my prayer book, they would help me to see myself as already having attained the things I prayed for. God didn't need to line up anything; it was me. I needed to line up my thoughts with the Word. I needed to continue to encourage myself to stand strong through the difficulties, and ol' boy there were many. But I knew that my desires were things that God had promised; I knew my blessings would come to pass and it would be done according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus.

Some of the things that were on the first few pages of the "What I Believe to Receive” section of my prayer book was a husband and a new home. I took images of the kind of man who looked as though he had qualities that equaled my desires, and I did the same with the kind of home I wanted. As my eyes scanned through the pages, it became clear that some of my expectations back then were clearly out of balance in certain areas. It was also apparent that time, endurance, and experience are masterful teachers, and I had a few more lessons to learn.  

All praises to our all powerful, all knowing God! Through His infinite mercy and grace I received the blessings I desired and prayed for, but I would be remiss if I did not point out the spiritual lessons I had to learn first. I had hidden stuff in the closets of my soul that I didn't even know I had; stuff I needed to surrender to God and get rid of. But while I was in the trenches—when I was lonely, and felt neglected and overlooked—I was also impatient. I didn't want to wait on the process. I didn't want to look within to see a true reflection of the things internally that were cheating me out of my blessings.

My great revelation was to realize that when you surrender your way of thinking and doing things, you also give God the room to bring forward the reality that best fits your life. And trust me, you can be headed in the opposite direction of God’s Will for your life and not even realize it. Sometimes, we think we’re on the right track, but actually we’re totally out in left field somewhere. I wasted time worrying about my timeline, when I could have just used that time to get really thankful and blessed in my heart. So that is my encouragement for you today, sisters and brothers. No matter how much time passes, don't get bogged down with the details. Trust God; He's in control. Listen, the only will you want for your life is God’s – it’s the only true way to live a life of victory and not one of regret!● 

1/02/2012
 

On Loan from God

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What can you say about the year that has passed? Have you gotten closer to your dreams – Did you show enough love – Are you single and waiting? More to the point, where do you stand in your relationship with Heavenly Father? All throughout the year, day by day, we are faced with harsh realities about who we are right down to the marrow. Some truths we’re able to face with honesty and courage; others we’d rather not think about at all. When you consider the progress you've made this past year, I would venture to say that the things you would rather NOT think about at all may have the greatest bearing on your success or lack of it.

When it comes to life and living, there are two words that clarify our state of being at any given time in our existence. Those two words are love and fear. Love comes from Heavenly Father, and fear comes from His archenemy, the devil. 1John 4:18(NKJV) is the verse that illuminates the difference between the two words, love and fear, more clearly than perhaps any other. It says "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."  God's love is pure and unadulterated. Fear is corrupt and destructive. 1John 4:18 is letting us know that fear and love cannot abide in the same place.

You and I are to be perfected in God's love. This means that we are works in progress. We are here upon this earth to learn lessons of love; to get rid of our old nature—to get rid of the fear—and take on the nature of Christ. We don't do this in one fell swoop. It takes time...a lifetime to be exact. We are born into a sinful world, and as we grow into adults the vestiges of fear becomes heavy baggage that weighs down our souls. This baggage will either cripple our progress as we move through life, or it will destroy us all together. Often we see the lives of people devastated and ravaged by fear, and they don't even realize that they are harboring this dangerous poison inside. They are self-sabotaging because they choose to live in fear rather than to live in love. God doesn't want anyone to make this choice. He has told us that we don't have any business being destroyed by darkness. He speaks to us through the Apostle Paul in 1John 4:4 (NKJV). You are of God, the Apostle writes "and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world"

The Father says that you and I have overcome them. Who is the "THEM" in 1John 4:4? The "them" in this verse is demonic spirits. These spirits abide in those who do not know or have not accepted the love of Christ, and they will abide in us if we do not resist them.  

Jealousy, envy, strife, rage, insecurity, impatience, arrogance, phobias, addictions, vengefulness, procrastination, unforgiving, idleness, resentfulness...these are just a few remnants of fear. Wherever these spirits exist within, the love of God cannot abide in that place. Think of it like this, you have a suitcase packed to capacity with clothes and other things that you'll need for traveling. It can only hold but so much, 50lbs to be exact. Any more than that and you'll get a nice little charge at the ticket counter, right? I digress, but anyway, the suitcase can't hold a ounce more than the 50lbs or else it will come apart at the seams and will not be useful any more. What if you discover at the last moment that you need to pack a nice suit? The only way you can fit the nice suit in the suitcase is to remove something else; this is your only alternative.

To the extent that we refuse to open up the suitcase and take a look at what needs to go, we will not make room for something else to fit. By the same token, if we refuse to confront the stuff that holds us back so that we can get rid of it, we will not make room for the love of God to come into that place and heal it. If we do not make a conscious effort to take authority over our minds and hearts, we will lose the opportunity to see what God is showing us. We can't see the forest for the trees; we can't see His love because the fear is blocking our vision.

It isn't enough to make a blanket statement of "God, come into my being and heal me." Your mind must be engaged or else you cannot exercise the overcoming authority that God has given you through Christ. You cannot be truly thankful for God's healing if you haven't yet identified the ailment. You have to stand toe to toe with your fear...toe to toe with the addiction, jealousy, insecurity, and arrogance...and understand with every fiber of your being that it does not have any power over you. This is a requirement of faith.

Romans 12:1 (NKJV) says "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service." God requires all of us, not just a fraction. He deserves your whole mind, heart, and body, because your whole mind, heart, and body is the only thing that you can present as reasonable service. So you owe it to God to work things out, to take stock, to examine what parts of yourself are still operating in fear.

So before we make any resolutions for the future, we owe it to ourselves to reflect upon the year that has past, and to do so circumspectly, having the courage to account for both our achievements and failures; to look honestly at the ways in which we've grown or not grown as loving representations of Christ. Remembering always that we are on loan from God. We do not belong to ourselves, but to Him. Therefore, let us resolve to rid ourselves of the negativity that caused us to stumble in 2011 and acquire something more wonderful in its place, because the more room we make to flourish in His goodness, the greater 2012 will be.● 
 

12/19/2011
 

Your Peace of Mind is Everything

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If you haven’t been through some things in life, you probably won’t know how valuable your peace of mind truly is – until you don’t have it. Our time to get quiet with the Lord, our intimate prayer sessions...these are the peaceful times that we have a tendency to take for granted. My mother would say, “you can’t put a price on peace”. When I was younger, foot loose and fancy free as it were, I never really grasped the heft of what she was telling us, but as I’ve gotten older and gone through some trials and tribulations, those words have added to the fabric that beautifully weaves throughout my life. I strive for—even fight for at times—the right to keep God's peace in my mind.

Often times, when I'm preparing and asking God to lead me in the direction of where He wants me to go in my teachings, He will steer me towards the subject of a conversation I've had or an encounter I've experienced during the week. Well it just so happens that I had the privilege to lend a listening hear to two individuals with similar difficulties. One was a Christian sister that I spoke to recently. There was such despair in her voice. She was weighted down with the pressures of life, compounded by mounting financial burdens, added responsibilities at work, and some family issues that were weighing heavily on her mind. When we spoke she seemed to be at her wits end and didn’t see a relief in sight. She told me that she would do anything just to have peace in her life. 

I had another conversation with a Christian woman who was feeling a bit down as well. She felt lonely and was disappointed because a man who seemed at first to have all the qualities she was looking for, turned out to be disingenuous. Her desire to partner with a Godly mate continues to elude her, and she had given over her heart to emotions of loneliness.

I can easily sympathize with her,  but I wanted so desperately for her to see how much she was taking for granted. She could spend so much of her down-time praying and conversing with God, getting close to Him. Then, when the right person came along, she wouldn't be pressed about what he did or did not do, because she would be so happy in the Lord. She could enjoy spending time with a man without complicating the relationship with all the hang ups of desperation and neediness.  

How you spend your time is a clear reflection of what’s most important to you. Spending time and energy thinking about what you don’t have, or worrying about things you can't control, will rob you of the joy of understanding and appreciating what you DO have – and that’s time to spend fellowshipping with the Lord. Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely fine to want to spend time with a special someone or a friend that enjoys your company as well – just keep in mind that the abundance of life exists between you and the Father; that is where your heart needs to be.

I’m sure we can all relate to feeling overwhelmed at some point in our lives, but this is why God instructs His people to LEAN ON HIM and not on their own understanding. 1 Peter 5:7(NLT) says "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." These words of wisdom in the bible are so valuable, but if we don’t put them on in our minds, they won’t do us any good. If the Word is not firmly anchored in your heart, if you are not convinced that God truly cares for you, then when troubling circumstances arise you might allow them to steal your joy and peace.   

Ephesians 6:15 (NLT) says "For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared." You have a choice. You don't have to give up your peace just because your circumstances are not optimal. Claim the peace of God. It's our responsibility to guard our minds and hearts, and to put on the peace that comes from knowing the Good News of Jesus Christ. You are responsible for letting the peace of God come into your being.

So many of us have wars raging within because we haven’t allowed the love of God to be the governing factor in our lives. You can change this by simply surrendering everything to the Father. Give it all to Him...all of it.

Philippians 4:6,7(NLT) says, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." We've got to learn to pray about things, release them to God, and then thank Him in advance for working them out. When you can do this, you'll know what it means to truly have peace of mind.

Only the love of God in Jesus Christ can satisfy you and bring you to a place of joy, peace and harmony. Marriage is absolutely wonderful, friendships are great, a good job and financial stability is awesome, but no human being, money, or fame can do you like the Lord. Only His peace can lift you out of the muck and mire of confusion and doubt, and cause you to transcend above your circumstances. Find and take hold of His peace in your life, because nothing else will compare. 

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights
reserved.

"Your Peace of Mind is Everything"  written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

12/12/2011

 

PAY ATTENTION...These Things Don't Just Happen!
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You are where you are in your life based on the decisions you've made in the past. Where you will ultimately end up in the future is based on the decisions that you make today. Have you ever heard that before? Take a look at your life right now, and you'll see that it's true. If you don’t like what you see or where you are, don’t get upset with yourself; do something different.  I think sometimes that we as Christians believe life is meant to be painful and full of disappointments. We think that is the way that God designed life to work. This is the furthest thing from the truth.  If bad choices are made – we make them, not our Heavenly Father. He set up this place on earth for us to live in peace, harmony and love. But because of our sinful nature, the tranquility of life is often disrupted. Things happen and we’re not always satisfied with the outcome. We start complaining, assessing blame and questioning the Father, "Why!"  

I had a conversation with a person not too long ago who was in this precise predicament. He is continuously faced with obstacles, and his life seems to be riddled with accidents, failed relationships, or trouble at home. I asked him, “Don’t you pay attention to what’s going on? These things in your life don’t just happen!!! They are happening because something is missing. The Lord is telling you to wake up and be alert to what's going on around you!" Sadly, I don't think this brother wants to wake up, because he is afraid of what he might find. I think he is afraid of facing the reality that his plans have not turned out well. He is afraid of being a failure, but there is no failure in Christ. If he relinquished his agenda to Jesus he would see that.

I'm a witness that if you open your eyes and look closely at the details of what’s going on around you, you’ll begin to see a pattern. You'll see a trail of behaviors and choices that either lead you to a more than abundant life, or a life of mishaps, misunderstandings, and tribulations. 

Take a look at what God says in Proverbs 16:1,3 (NLT) "We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer. 3; Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed." Bad choices are usually made when there’s a lack of information on our part, or a lack of faith in the truth of God’s Word. We don't have a valid excuse for demonstrating either of these. When it comes to God's Word, the more you know the more you grow; the more you grow the more you know. It is a continuous positive cycle of going higher and higher in the things of God. No matter what anyone tells you, the Word of God has every answer to every question that pertains to life and Godliness. No matter if it’s about a relationship, family, friends or your job. Go to the Word of God and you'll find the keys to life.

There's no excuse for us not knowing the Word because it's readily available. We can read it anytime we choose. If we're honest, we would have to admit that we don't read it as often as we should because we don't trust God as much as we ought to. God and His Word are the preeminent authority. Proverbs 16:1 (NLT) says that we can try and come up with our own plans, but that's not a very smart thing to do. You see, the nature of the flesh tells us that we need to know all the details up front. We have an idea or an agenda in our minds of how things ought to go, and we don't want anyone telling us anything differently, but Proverbs 3:5(NIV) says "⁵Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths."

When we give our lives to God through our blessed Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we shouldn't try and do a take-back. God wants all of us, from the top of our heads to the tip of our toes. This means that we have to trust Him. When we come to an impasse on the road of life—when we're praying for all our dreams to come true—we should be confident that God gives the right answer!

God gave us this awesome privilege called freedom of will. He would never take this away from us. We can make any decisions in life that suits us; we can make plans for the next five years if we want to. It’s our prerogative. However, if we make plans without consulting God first, then we are not going to like the direction our lives take. God tells us that the only way to succeed is to commit our actions to Him, THEN our plans in life will succeed. 

Single Sistas, pay attention to the details of your life. Be watchful of what you do, think, and say on a daily basis, because these actions have power—power to alter the course of your life. Line yourselves up with God's Word. I know from personal experience that sometimes single women have a tendency to act impulsively while waiting for the right person to come along. When loneliness sets in, desperation will sometimes be the catalyst for your actions. Don't let your flesh takeover in this way. You may have a plan, a time-table, and a list of all the details of what you desire, but don't let those things get in God's way. It can be challenging at times, yes, but remember James 1:12-15(NLT):

God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. ¹³And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, "God is tempting me." God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. ¹⁴Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. ¹⁵These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

Let the Word have authority in your life. God doesn't make mistakes. He leaves no stone unturned. We can't humanize the Father and bring Him down to our earthly level; We must step up to His and realize that He has a plan for our lives, and if we'll trust Him and stay in His Word, we'll have tremendous success.●

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights
reserved.

" PAY ATTENTION...These Things Don't Just Happen!"  written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

11/28/2011
 

Knock Until Your Door Opens!

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Luke 11:9, NIV; "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10, for everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

In Luke 11, Jesus Christ was teaching his disciples how to pray and to illustrate he used a story of a disciple going to a friend’s house for a loaf of bread. Jesus said if you go to a friend’s house at midnight and tell him you have a visitor and need to borrow three loaves of bread – suppose he tells you in return not to bother him. He and his family are in bed, the door is locked, and he can’t help you. Our Lord said that if you keep knocking at your friend’s door, he will answer it; not because of your friendship, but because of your shameless persistence. This lets us know, that if you keep on knocking at the door long enough, after while your perseverance will pay off.

Most single women who are in search of a husband have been praying to God for quite a while. After a certain length of time has passed by, their patience wades and so does their persistence. In the parable in Luke 11, Jesus Christ is not instructing us to pray repeatedly for the same things. He is instructing us how to have the patience and persistence to develop our minds, so that our faith is strong. This isn't something that happens overnight. It takes time. Because you see, you have to get to a place where you're not rocked because the person you thought was the right one turns out to be the furthest thing from it. You don't sink in your spiritual efforts because the sistafriend next door who seems to be nowhere near your level of commitment to Godliness has just gotten engaged, meanwhile you are still patiently waiting. When your head and heart are in the right place, this stuff doesn't take you off your mark.

While the single, Christian bride is waiting in faith for her future husband, she is suppose to be busy doing the Will of the Father. She is to understand that the people, situations, and circumstances in her life are strategically appointed to lift her higher in the things of God. Sometimes we miss this. We take our lives for granted and we fail to see what God is showing us, because we are so heavily focused on acquiring rather than aspiring to reach the pinnacle of spiritual growth and maturity.

When it comes to faith in this area, there's one thing that you MUST bear in mind at all times; it works! Faith produces results. There is no time, ever, in which faith does not yield the results that have been prayed for. In Genesis 12, God made a promise to Abraham, the father of our believing. Verse 2 reads, "And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing."

Abraham didn't rest on his laurels after he received this promise from God. He understood how monumentally important his relationship with God was, and so he made it his business to listen in for directives. Abraham had to move his family away from the home they knew. God didn't tell him to do these things just for the sake of doing them. These were strategic steps that were necessary to fulfill the promise that Abraham had received.

Some biblical scholars tell us that there was a span of 13 years between the time God made this promise in Genesis 12 to the time when Sarah actually became pregnant with Isaac. Abraham didn't know how the promise would be fulfilled; he didn't have all of the specifics, but he trusted that God would make it happen.

You have to ask yourself if you are really listening to the Father. Are you considering what may be necessary to receive the promise of a husband? Rest assured that a great deal is required. Your persistence to knock and keep on knocking equates to the reality of consistently and patiently praying, ministering, listening, and moving according to the spirit. It's the solid, locked-down, etched-in-stone habit patterns that you develop as a faithful daughter of the Most High; these will enable you to embrace the results of your fully persuaded faith.

Colossians 1:11 (NLT)
We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, 12; always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light.

We are children of the light, so this automatically entitles us to the inheritance God has made available. Give thanks for your heart's desires, and walk in the authority of claiming that reality in the name of Jesus Christ. But also proceed with due caution that you do not become overly anxious. That can sometimes lead you down the path of confusion. If you don’t keep your emotions in check, the peace of God may become overshadowed by the wrong thing.

Knock faithfully and patiently, not allowing yourself to become discouraged as the time passes. Learn to hear God's directives and be willing to move accordingly. Get excited about your relationship with Him. He's the light that ought to burn in your heart. Persevere in the Lord, and ask Him to help you build your faith and strength in the area of matrimony. Learn your lessons well, and in due time the door will open. 

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights
reserved.

"Knock Until Your Door Opens!"  written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

11/21/2011
 

I Don’t Ever Want to Go through That Again!
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Last week Rev. Fran’s article “Did You Lose Power?” really echoed the sentiments of most folks in this part of New England. I don't think anyone has ever seen the magnitude of devastation and despair. It affected over 800,000 people. When you think about it, that’s a lot of folks dealing with the same set of circumstances. Everyone around you was struggling with loss of power, a very limited supply of food, no heat, and no gas. I’m sure this is what it must have felt like for people in days of old, and many of them were accustomed to doing without, but when you become so used to the amenities and necessities of modern life, you take them for granted – hence the old adage "you never miss your water until your well runs dry”.  Sadly, the well ran dry for days and for some, weeks.

A circumstance that takes you completely out of your comfort zone and leaves you vulnerable like that beckons you to reach deep down inside. It calls upon you to draw from a well of strength that you never thought you had. At first, you might say to yourself "God, why did you allow this to happen?”, but then you are reminded of His Word, that He will never leave us nor forsake us. You realize that He truly is the only one you can count on. And so you begin to understand that in order to tackle the stress and discomfort of the situation, the power of prayer and the love of God must be continually on your mind.

During my week without power, I would drive home at night and street after street was without electricity. My town and neighboring communities were left in complete darkness. I remember thinking to myself, “God, this is what it’s like for folks who haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior; they are in an abyss of darkness.”  1 Thessalonians 5:5 (KJV) says of the believers, "Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness."  This means that if you don’t have the love of Jesus Christ on the inside of you, then living in darkness is an everyday reality. 

To literally be in darkness and have all of the necessities of life stripped from you without any say so is one thing, but to make the conscious choice to be in spiritual darkness is another. The simple truth is that you will either choose to live in darkness or choose to live in truth, which is the light. Jesus Christ said in John 14:6 that he is the way, the truth, and the light. 1John 1:5 says "This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. 6; If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth. 7; But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin." So to live in Christ is to have a light shining from within at all times, even if there are no lights on the outside. In other words, no matter what comes our way, God is a way-maker; there's always a way out through Him. 

I don’t ever want to go through that again! You might think it's a bit dramatic to say that, but I challenge you to try living without electricity, heat, gas, or hot water for a while. It's not comfortable at all. It will wake you up out of a slumber very quickly, and cause you to appreciate that God truly has made a more than abundant life possible for most of us who live in this day and time.

We take so much for granted. We've lost the sensibility to be truly, genuinely, and passionately thankful for God’s grace, but we need to snap out of this sense of entitlement. Yes, I say that I don't want to endure that kind of discomfort again, but in all honesty I may have to. This is the kind of world we live in. So I encourage you not to wait until something difficult happens. Take the time now to prepare for hiccups like living a short while without the necessities we count on every day. Learn emergency preparedness and survival skills from agencies in your local area, and most importantly, stay spiritually prepared by praying continually, studying God's Word, and living Godly.

Here are a few helpful links:

Red Cross Emergency Preparedness

FEMA: Family Emergency Plan

FEMA: Basic Disaster Supplies Kit

11/07/2011

Be Strong in Faith
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Tanieka started buying and putting away things for her wedding day when she was 22 years old. Seven years later she had a room filled with everything from unity candles to table linens. About the only things she didn't have already was her wedding gown and the groom. Since she was a little girl she had always wanted to be a wife and a mother. This was her lifelong dream, and she would not be deterred. Her faith in God was unwavering. Early on there were times when she became extremely disappointed and she wanted to give up, but she encouraged herself in the Word. Well, after three or four years of standing strong, you know how the story goes... Tanieka started to wonder if she was doing something wrong.

When it comes to finding the right marital partner, mastering the virtue of patience is very often underestimated. As a single person, I'm sure you know that preparation comes before partnering, and you may be doing all the things you feel God desires. Still, the wait seems to go on and on, and in the meantime the loneliness deepens as years pass. Feeling lonely at times is part of the human experience, but unmarried individuals have to be careful about these feelings. You can't allow them to hinder your efforts to continue to learn how to live and love God's way.

Tanieka struggled with this, primarily because she had grown very sad about her prospects. It wasn't just that she was lonely; she had become disappointed with the kind of men she was meeting. They were so far from her expectations that she saw no point in continuing to date.

She wasn't doing anything wrong. She just needed to grow in faith and continue to be patient with herself in the process. There are so many internal and external factors that come into play when you consider the reality of partnering. This is often one of the most difficult things to grasp. We can be very selfish. We want what we want when we want it. But sometimes, particularly when we are young adults, our spiritual paths don't always intersect with the mental images we have of our future spouses. So until we #1) glean a clearer understanding of where God is taking us spiritually and #2) have an inkling of an idea of the person HE desires as our traveling partner, if we're not careful, we could potentially take ourselves further away from what we desire as opposed to closer to it.

God knows the areas of our lives where we need to grow. He knows the things that we need to deal with before we can be healthy, solid, Godly spouses. And until we are willing to confront those areas honestly, surrender them and grow beyond them,  we will move at a snail's pace. Tanieka wanted more than that—much more. She no longer wanted her personal yearning to drive the momentum of her life. She wanted to please God and had gotten to a point where she wasn't so much concerned with getting married, but having a fulfilling spiritual and personal life.

Tanieka learned to use Abraham's faith as her guide, and this is one of the most crucial elements to seeing results in our lives. Romans 4:18,20,21 (NIV) says that "¹⁸Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed. ²⁰ he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, ²¹ being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."  Verse 19 of this same passage says that Abraham was not weak in faith.  Now this is the humungous "big daddy" statement. It's the key to understanding a little something about how faith works.

Abraham was not weak in faith. This lets us know concretely that it is absolutely available for a believer to be one of two things, either he or she is strong in the faith, or they are weak. This, my friends, is a volitional choice. God didn't cause Abraham to become strong in faith. He didn't zap a whammy on his brain cells and cause Abraham to instantly believe and trust Him. No, against ALL hope, Abraham chose to believe our Heavenly Father. He denied what the circumstances presented. He overlooked what seemed impossible at the time. He simply made up in his mind to put his trust in God and leave it there.

Abraham's faith pleased God, and so must yours. God wants you to trust Him in places within your heart and mind that you perhaps haven't even begun to explore. For instance, you might look at Tanieka's actions and come away with the opinion that she adequately backed her faith. You might view her far-in-advance preparation for her wedding day as evidence of her belief in God's promises, and it was. But as you, yourself, strive to learn more about demonstrating faith, you have to see things from more than just one point of view. Consider the possibility that initially Tanieka may have been so fixated on all the trimmings that she forgot what marriage is all about. You may also have to question whether there was a potential imbalance of expectations that could have done more harm than good.

Oh sure, to buy a few items here and there is plausible, not to mention fun, but to fill a room with purchases brings another question into view. If you are trusting God for the man, shouldn't you also trust Him that everything you need will be there when you need it? Faith requires you to trust that God has wonderful plans for your wedding day, and you don't have to control all the details years in advance.

You see, you have to ask questions like this to become strong in your beliefs, so that you leave no stone unturned when it comes to trusting God; because weak faith won't cut it. Weak faith doesn't produce results. We must be sold-out, fully persuaded that what God has promised He will perform.

Faith is a spiritual reality, and it requires spiritual efforts to back it—efforts like studying God's Word, praying often, and developing your relationship with Him through Christ. God doesn't want you to leave your life to chance. It's not an attitude of whatever will be will be.  You can control your circumstances for the best by acting according to His Word, and believing in His promises. You don't have to go out and buy things to affirm your beliefs, although you can certainly do that if you want. The main thing is that you know in your heart of hearts that God will not fail you.

As irony would have it, Tanieka married a wonderful man of God in a small, intimate ceremony on a cruise ship. She used only a fraction of the wedding things she had saved for years, but she wasn't the least bit concerned about that. So as you look around at the pool of brothers in your part of the world, you might feel like its slim pickings', just as Tanieka did at one time. But you cannot feel that way for long if you are truly seeing our Heavenly Father for the Great, Big, Wonderful God that He is. He'll meet your need, but as we say all the time, it's about prioritizing the relationship you have with Heavenly Father. All day every day, it's about the relationship...the relationship...the relationship! So study His Word. It will always work for your good, and make sure you stay connected to God by doing everything you possibly can to grow in the spirit and to develop strong faith.●

"Be Strong in Faith"  written by Reverend Fran Times-Mack and Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

10/24/2011

Planting the Right Seeds to Reap the Harvest of Marriage

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It wasn’t that long ago that I was single and waiting on the Lord to bless me with a Godly mate. I wanted someone for the long haul—a husband—someone that I could enjoy spending the rest of my life with.  I would often think to myself, what more is required of me to attract a lifetime partner? My life was already filled with lots of love from family and friends, job was secure, I felt my spirituality was growing in the Lord day by day, but for some reason I wasn’t making sufficient strides towards what I desired most. I remember a strong, wise, spirit-filled sista said to me "Kim, there’s no reason for you to still be single”. As a matter of fact, a few people made this statement to me. I was so busy searching for a husband, that the impact of this simple piece of truth didn't hit my consciousness. I was looking for a complicated answer, constantly questioning, ”Father, why don’t I have a husband?"  I desired greatly to be married to a Godly man, but for the life of me I couldn’t understand why I was single for such a long time.

Well Sistas, there's one thing that we must accept and it is this, the truth always comes in small doses. Why? Because it is often so difficult for us to handle. The love of God is simple, just like the sista's plain and simple comment to me. The truth is also plain and simple, but sometimes it's painful too; and we don't want to see it. So I continued to search my soul and pray in the spirit, and finally I arrived at the answer. It was in front of me all along––I hadn’t planted enough of the right kind of love to reap the harvest of a husband. This was a whammy that really knocked me over the head. I was doing so much already, and I couldn't imagine that I could do more. But you see, the children of God are supposed to operate out of the overflow; I didn't quite have that part of the equation down pat. Yes, I was incredibly busy, but I wasn't busy doing the things that would move me closer to what I wanted.

The truth was hard to hear and hard to swallow, that my spiritual growth required more sacrifice and more work on myself. I had done so much purging, reevaluating, and surrendering that to be truthfully honest, I was getting a little weary of the work, but I knew I couldn’t give up on the journey. Galatians 6:9 (NLT) kept coming to my mind, "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up."

You see sometimes we think we're on the right track. We think we're doing all the right things, when in actuality we are not as tuned in to the spirit as we think. Only God knows the plan for your life. Only God knows the plan for your husband's life. And whether you want to believe it or not, very often times His plan is completely opposite from yours. God's chief desire is that you and your husband grow in the spirit. Your life's lessons are specifically designed to achieve that purpose. If you are not inclined presently to process the fact that you must grow in ways that stretch you way beyond your comfort zone, then you are still not ready for the plain and simple truth.

Although your desired physical attributes for a husband bears some importance, you must remember that you are endeavoring to make a spiritual connection. That means that you don't always get the man you think is right for you. As a matter of fact, this is the case more often than not. God plants a man in your life who will help you to grow into the woman that He desires you to be. Sometimes this has nothing to do with your present agenda.

So I had to dispense with a lot of my preconceived notions. I had to force myself to remember constantly that in order to reap the blessings, I had to first plant the right kind of seeds into God’s Kingdom, and I hadn’t done that. There was still much work that needed to be done. God was expecting much more from me because He knew that I could give much more. I hadn't yet scratched the surface of what I was capable of giving. Not only was God expecting much more from me, I needed to understand that He wasn’t keeping my husband at bay; I needed to get out of my own way and put forth the right action, then I would be able to see that the blessing was right in front me all along.

You might look around and ask yourself "where have all the good men gone?" But you must realize with crystal clarity that our Heavenly Father is not lacking in any way, shape, form, or fashion. He's a God of the plenty and full! And He has supplied the fields with plenty of harvest.  God said in His Word that He has provided everything we need in the earth – and that includes the husband you seek. So the question is—have you planted the right seeds to reap the harvest of marriage?

The Bible teaches us in Hosea 10:12, "Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you." Oh my Sisters, our hearts must be so tender for marriage, because it requires such a tremendous walk of faith. You must be prepared, and you must be receptive to the fact that there is more for you to do to GET prepared. The Father knows that you desire a husband to spend your life with, just like He knew the desires of my heart, but He will not foster our immaturity, neither will He reward it.

We become too comfortable with ourselves, to the point that we forget how to tap into His love in the ways that we should. You may have forgotten that God is a bountiful giver; and that blessing you with a man that equals your capacity to love is not an insurmountable task.  As Rev. Fran said recently, "As Children of God, our occupation and business is to always please the Father." You must build a continuous momentum of praying and right action—planting the good seeds of righteousness by putting God first in all you do. Then, when your heart is tender and spacious enough to accommodate the care and life of another, God will shower you with the harvest of love you seek!●

" Planting the Right Seed to Reap the Harvest of Marriage"  written by Kim TImes-Ayala and Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

10/17/2011

Don’t Ignore the Warnings
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Just like a loving father would do for his children, our Heavenly Father gives instruction on how to live and how to avoid certain pitfalls in life. He provides divine intervention through the Holy Spirit within, but it’s up to us to recognize the warning signs. I want to emphasize how very important it is for Christian women, particularly those who are single, to pay close attention to spiritual indicators when involved in new relationships. 

When we become involved in a new relationship with a man, we feel exhilarated—no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Our hormones race, the chemicals in our brains change, and we operate at a heighten level of excitement. This irresistible cocktail of chemicals, emotions, and hormones will cause us to believe that we've found Mr. Right, when that might not necessarily be the case. Very often times we will give in and become love-struck, because we've been waiting for the fruition of the promise for so long.

Because the beginning of something new is such a crucial time for any woman, as daughters of the Most High, it behooves us to be extremely aware and cautious. I'm not hatin', but keepin' it real...most new beaus are very attentive in the beginning of a relationship. This is the time when usually, they're on their best behavior. We gotta' give'em an "A" for the gesture, but by the same token, as women of God we can't let a little attention by a man cause us to lose sight of our priorities and standards of Godliness.

One way that we lose our perspective is by idealizing the new man. We'll magnify his virtues and explain away his flaws. Often those flaws are incompatibilities that we should be recognizing as warning signs, but we're so enamored with the idea of finally having someone that we dismiss what the Holy Spirit is revealing to us.

Another telltale warning that a whole bunch of us overlook is this big, humongous word called EFFORT. Brotherman needs to bring his A-game. You cannot ignore it when, right off the bat, he doesn't value your worth. I'm not talking about your financial status; I'm talking strictly spiritual here. If he doesn't thoroughly respect your stand as a Christian woman, it's either because you are not carrying yourself that way or he could care less. As a woman expecting a man who equals her capacity to love, you absolutely must have concrete evidence that the man—no matter how fine he may be—is putting serious effort into building something of quality with you. Follow his lead! If you don't see the effort from him, then don't you make a move.     

Now here's the big whammy, "moving too fast!"  The Holy Spirit will tell us "Slow ya' roll, partner! You're moving too fast!" A true and lasting love deepens and develops over time. It requires patience and self-examination. You should be cautious about welcoming the idea of doing everything with a new guy. You can't afford to shift your focus off of God in this way, and if you are being pressured to do this, a red flag ought to be going up in your mind. Maintaining quality fellowship and communion with Heavenly Father is the only way that you can be confident you are making the right decisions.

Also, if you are receiving constant interruptions whenever you're around this person, you can't seem to find the time to meet and chat, or if you're getting those uneasy feelings of discomfort, these are warnings as well. Don’t ignore them! 

Scripture is so instructional, and it lets us see that God warns His people when they are in the midst of danger. In the OId Testament,  God’s people didn't have the wealth of spiritual goodies that have been made available to you and me. They were not equipped with the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit, so they didn't have internal warnings to let them know when to avoid certain dangerous situations. In many instances God’s people had to literally see the danger before they would believe it. Then, when they were informed about the eminence of a threat and how to avoid it, it was left up to them to take action. Look at Ezekiel 33:3-5

3 When the watchman sees the enemy coming, he sounds the alarm to warn the people. 4 Then if those who hear the alarm refuse to take action, it is their own fault if they die. 5 They heard the alarm but ignored it, so the responsibility is theirs. If they had listened to the warning, they could have saved their lives.

There are Christian women who continue to put themselves in situations that are not conducive to a long and healthy, Godly marriage. But rest assured that this is what Heavenly Father desires for you. He hasn't left you defenseless. You have everything you need on the inside to lead and guide you down the path that leads to victory. Don't overlook His divine instruction. Try your best to recognize and heed His signs and warnings, so that you are not knocked out of focus by the wrong person or thing. Warnings can come through dreams, they can come through people, and they can come through the most unsuspecting sources; but one thing is for sure, they DO come. Pay attention!●

"Don't Ignore the Warnings"  written by Kim TImes-Ayala and Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

10/10/2011

Make Room for More

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One thing in life is a guarantee, if you want success you must put forth the work to achieve it; the results you desire are not going to just fall in your lap effortlessly. Here's another critical truth along the same lines, if you’re expecting to receive something new in your life, you must let go of something old. What do I mean by that? Well first, imagine that you are able to hold intangible things like emotions and feelings in your hands. In one hand you’re holding on to memories that keep you in a state of reliving the past, and in the other hand you are clinching hurtful feelings and disappointments from old wounds that should have been healed by now. With both hands full, it’s going to be pretty difficult to receive anything more. Without releasing these emotional heavies, you will not be able to love freely and be unfettered by the past. And what's worse, you will not be able to receive love, so that it gets to the places where sadness and grief still live.

Maybe someone you loved passed away, or maybe you were involved with a person who tore your heart apart. Every time you think about the memories, you become depressed, distressed or anxious. Well we are entitled to grieve. God would not want us to skip the grieving process because He instilled those emotions within our human frame. If someone broke your heart, you are going to go through some things before you can get over it, but you can't hold on to the person you were at the time when the situation that caused the grief initially happened. And this is where we get stuck. We become afraid to move forward as a stronger, wiser version of ourselves, because we don't want to endure anything hurtful again.  

1John 3:1(NIV) says " How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" Grief, disappointment, loneliness, hurt, these emotions and feelings are meant to transition you into more of the person God intends you to be. Heavenly Father does not orchestrate hurtful situations and circumstances, but He knows that they are a part of the earth experience. You cannot live as a human being and not experience loss, but as children of God, we are supposed to realize that God's love is enough to fill any gap, cover any loss, and lift any burden

Even though we cannot literally hold emotions in our hands, we hold on to them internally and refuse to release them. We can become so comfortable that half the time we do not realize we are carrying emotional weight. This is when you have to look honestly at what is happening in your life. Take the emotional weight of loneliness for instance, there are women who have been praying to God to send them a husband for years, but yet, when you take a closer look at their lives, you may not discover any evidence that they are making room to accommodate another person.

I'll give you a personal example of what I'm conveying here. After a hard day's work, I would come home and fix myself a sandwich or a bowl of cereal for dinner. I figured "hey it’s just me, I don’t have to cook”.  My closets were packed to capacity with my stuff, and every inch of my life was filled with things, situations, and rituals that reminded me constantly that I was single. Rev. Fran so often talks about the Process of Preparation, and the fact that you have to release the things that no longer serve you well in order to gain something more useful. You have to put off in order to put on. So I began to de-clutter—emotionally, physically, and mentally—to make room in my life for the blessing that I was expecting.

Details like insignificant habit patterns may seem miniscule, but if you keep the same mindset, you will never condition your mind and heart to make room for what you desire.  

When our minds are focused on the past, and we become so convinced of who we are at this moment that we cannot see who we can become, we have to take action. And it's true, sometimes we don't know what actions to take, but that is why Heavenly Father has given us a helper. The Holy Spirit will help us; He will lead, guide, and direct us into breaking free. The spirit will help us to be synchronized with God's plan and purpose, but we must make a conscious decision to make room. We must be willing to purge ourselves of old habits that prolong grief, stagnation, and sadness. We must open our hands to release, then the spirit will help us to reach out and grab what we desire.●

08/29/2011
 

Under Lock and Key
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Do you have a most prized possession, something that is extremely precious to you? How do you take care of it?  A lot of people have safe deposit boxes where they keep their most valued possessions under lock and key. Others purchase elaborate cabinets to keep their valuables organized and beautifully displayed. Most of us tend to take extra care with such valuables, and we go to extreme measures to keep them safe. As God's Word would have it, this is exactly the way you should look at your body. 

2Corinthians 3:17-18(The Message) reminds us, "You realize, don't you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you? No one will get by with vandalizing God's temple, you can be sure of that. God's temple is sacred—and you, remember, are the temple." Your body is the temple of God, and it houses the most valuable thing you have, which is the indwelling Holy Spirit. The spirit of Christ dwells in a place that is so deep within your inner being that no other human being can take it out; not even the most skilled physician.

Ephesians 1:13(KJV) says "after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise." Let me tell you something, if God has sealed the Holy Spirit of promise within you, then no person can unseal you. Your body is an elaborate cabinet, and God has entrusted you to house the most beautiful and valuable treasure imaginable, but He holds the key, not you. He has sealed the gift within your temple, and not only do you have to take care of the temple, but you also have to care for what the temple houses.

You are the security guard of the Father's most holy gift. You have been given the authority, power, and privilege to ensure your treasure's safekeeping. As you stand on the Word of God through your actions, thoughts, conversations, and behaviors, you ensure that the spirit within your inner being swells. As you nurture your soul by living according to God's Word, you will grow and flourish through the spirit. That is the key to protecting your treasure from being vandalized. It is the key to keeping your temple sacred and pleasing to the Father.

No one else, no matter how fine a human specimen he may be, should have access to your temple UNLESS he receives it the way God, Himself, has ordained. I heard someone say the other day that marriage is just a piece of paper. Boy, we'll use any-and-everything, including the kitchen sink, to go against what God has told us. God's Word is written on paper, so when paper contains life-giving covenants and promises, it becomes meaningful and important. In other words, paper becomes a crucial part of our existence when it symbolizes the Father's Will and desires for mankind.

Marriage is so much more than a piece of paper. It is more than just a part of man's law. It is a covenant that two people make before God... FOR God. They make a commitment to serve one another as He has ordained, so that His plan and purpose can continue to progress in the earth.

So you need to know that as a woman of God, and also as a man of God, that by allowing someone to violate your temple, you injure your body in ways you can't imagine. As a matter of fact, nothing can tear you down more than allowing someone to dishonor your temple through sexual immorality. God has ordained that only your spouse should be able to access your safe haven. Unless you are someone's wife—unless they’ve been given a valuable and legal piece of paper called a marriage license, then you don't allow them access to your temple. You do everything within your power to keep your treasure under lock and key.

You belong to God. You are not your own; therefore your temple isn't yours to give away. Your body should remain preserved for the committed relationship of marriage. It's not hard to understand why God would set it up this way, sisters. God's love is the glue that binds every good thing together. His plan for us is golden. It's extraordinarily wonderful! God's plan and purpose dictates that a husband and wife, who are committed to God and to each other, are the perfect demonstration of the love of Christ. So if a man isn't willing to marry you, but is all too happy to keep you around for the purposes of having sex with him, then no matter how nice he is, you are allowing the forces of darkness to feast on your soul and vandalize your temple. Nothing is worth this.

Understand that you can never blame the man for not loving you the way you deserve when you neglect God’s Word. If a nice man shows interest, and you tell him that you’re waiting to get married before you engage in a physical relationship, and he doesn’t stick around, then you know beyond any and all doubt that he's not the one for you. Keep your line of communication with God open by praying often, and don't give sexual sin any place in your life. Keep it Godly, keep it sacred, and until you get that piece of paper, keep it under lock and key.●

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

" Under Lock and Key" written by Kim Ayala, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

08/22/2011
 

 The Key Word is "FOUND"

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To be found by a man that truly sees you for the jewel you are is very rare.  It is even more remarkable to have the patience, courage and strength to allow time to reveal such a treasure. Everyone looks to find a love that they can count on, the kind of love that they can brag about and trust in for the rest of their lives. For instance, consider what the word ‘wife’ means.  Proverbs 18:22 NKJV says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD." A wife is someone that is worthy to be found. God didn’t say, "He who finds a woman...", He said "He who finds a wife...!" If you, as a woman, are too busy doing the seeking, then how can you expect for the man to find YOU!!!

Getting a man to the alter should not be a Christian woman's journey; it should always be left up to the man – never the woman.  Why? Because God did not assign the woman this charge. Your task should be to #1-prepare your heart, mind, and soul to receive such a gift, and #2-make sure you’re the kind of woman that as soon as one of God’s finest recognizes you, he will know you’re the one. 

Understand, woman of God, that just as you have an instinct about the wrong kind of man for you, your future husband has an instinct about the wrong kind of woman for him. So if you’re single and praying for a husband, ask yourself why haven’t you been found yet, and take the time to really get clear about the answer to that question. It’s not an embarrassing question to ask; it’s a “get real and honest” question you ask of yourself when you are truly interested in the truth. 

For the single Christian woman, it seems that being found by a Christian man that is truly seeking a Godly woman is becoming increasingly frustrating and time consuming. Could you be the one that’s standing in your own way? The answer is "yes" if you have begun to take matters into your own hands by opting to ignore the principles of God and vying for worldly rules instead.  This world is designed to trick people into substituting a ‘instant gratification’ philosophy for Godly principles. As a woman who is committed to the Lord, you must trust the Word and what it says before you decide that your way works quicker and will provide the results you’re looking for.

God never meant for the woman to go out looking for her husband. He meant for this responsibility to be upon the man.  Although times have changed, our Heavenly Father hasn’t, nor has His Word. Every woman is not worthy or ready to be married or have a husband. God knows this and any man that’s ready to partner will be able to determine, once he meets her if she’s wife material.

The media loves to tell us the percentages of single women that have never been married. The devil wants to fill our minds with doubt, but we cannot lose faith. God has everything under control.  We can't blame Him for not connecting us to our future husband. Quite frankly, we have to admit that in many ways we are still not ready to partner. You must accept that even right now God is helping you to prepare for the blessing.

When we take our focus off of God and our relationship with Him, we become frustrated and tired of waiting on Him to bless us. Then, we end up going after the wrong man just for the sake of saying “I have a man”. This isn't the dream you have in your heart. Allow the indwelling Holy Spirit to do the job of leading, guiding and directing you in every area, especially when it comes to partnering. Anytime your need for companionship overrules the principles that God has set forth in His Word, you are doing the steering and not God. Don’t let this happen! And don't worry about finding the right man – keep your eyes on the Father and He will make sure that you are found.●

08/08/2011
 

The Pathway to Marital Bliss

1 Corinthians 7:32–34 NLT

32 In everything you do, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him.

33 But a married man can't do that so well. He has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.

 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be more devoted to the Lord in body and in spirit, while the married woman must be concerned about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.

What is the real purpose of marriage? Marriage is a commitment between two people and a binding covenant with God.  When you get married, you are making the conscious choice to take on someone’s heart.  Everything that defines your spouse, their strengths and weaknesses, and especially their shortcomings, you will marry.  If you decide that you are ready to get married, make that choice out of the willingness and the ability to add something to someone’s life, not out of desperation.  Often times, people go into relationships with the expectation of being rescued or because of loneliness; this could only lead you into an unfulfilled marriage.

Understand this, marriage is about giving and sacrificing, sometimes when you don’t feel like it.  God has provided you with the love and patience to sew seeds of love and compassion into your mate. This has to be more than your desire, you must see it as your commitment to honor God THROUGH your spouse.

I had a conversation with an old friend not long ago, who was soon to celebrate his 67^th wedding anniversary.  I had to ask the obvious question: “How in the world did you and your wife do it? What is the key to a successful marriage?”  He gave me a perfect, yet simple, vision of how self-sacrifice looks.  He told me that every day he takes his wife out for ice cream, not because he likes it, as a matter of fact he said it irritates his throat. "I do it because I know she loves it.”  Therein lies true sacrifice and commitment; love is as love does.  You put the right ingredients into your marriage, you get the right results out.  Few believe that, but it's God's immutable law of Giving equals Receiving.  It works with a mathematical precision every single time.  There is never an occurrence where we make a loving and meaningful investment into the lives of our spouses without receiving it back in manifold portion.   

There will be many times in your marriage when you will have to put the needs of your spouse before your own. Keep your eyes open to the fact that this is a blessing that God has given you.  I guarantee that you will have an experience in your future where you will see that God was setting you up to reap a wonderful blessing. This blessing will come from your spouse when you need it the most.  Spend your time concentrating more on learning to recognize opportunities like this and less time on whatever shortcomings your mate may have. 

In order to build a strong foundation for any relationship, you must be willing to see yourself as the conduit by which God can demonstrate His love to your mate.  Marriage and your relationship with God is sometimes a delicate dance.  As a single person, your focus was on building a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Now, you must reprioritize your time with your partner.  Remember, your spouse is not meant to be your everything; only God deserves and expects that place in your heart and mind.  Your spouse is your mate, companion, help, lover, and friend.  Once it was just you and God.  He lavished all that love and caring upon you through His son, Jesus Christ.  Now it's time for you to lavish it on your spouse, and to give it out as unconditionally as it was given to you.  Build the marital relationship together on the solid ground of Christ.  Be committed to reflect the example of Christ in your marriage.  This is a sure way to the pathway to marital bliss.

Please pray this prayer:

Heavenly Father, I seek your forgiveness for not holding up my end of the bargain in my marriage.  It's a true gift. I realize that, and I thank you for it.  I also thank you for the awesome privilege to minister in love and in truth to my spouse.  I pray that my mate will see You bigger because of the love of Jesus Christ at work within me.  In the powerful name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

07/25/2011

Get Rid of the Clutter
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You may think that you’ve got everything under control. You may even believe that your way is the right way to get you where you want to be, but just in case your way has caused a standstill, and you’re still waiting for your heart's desire to come to pass, consider Psalm 51:10; It says "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." 

The question to ask yourself is "Why did this scripture use the word 'create'?"  King David was the psalmist here, and as you know, he had been vexed miserably by Saul's numerous attempts to kill him. It would not have been unusual for David to write continual pleas to God to help him escape his antagonist, but this is not the case in Psalm 51:10. He doesn't pray for God to preserve his reputation, or to let him put Saul to shame and have honor among the people of Israel. His great concern was to have his corrupt nature transformed.

This word create suggests that something needs to be made from scratch; that it will be produced or set into existence by something greater than itself. Well David's heart had been created. It was already in existence. The very fact that He prayed for God to create within him a clean heart tells us something very important about David. It tells us that he was humble, so much so that he realized the need for God to do something that he, himself, was unable to do. It tells us that David recognized that he was not where he needed to be in his relationship with God, and he knew that a clean heart was the way to get closer to the Father.

David wisely used the term "clean heart". This means that it’s possible for our hearts to be unclean in some way.  And if this is a possibility, then we should reckon that a heart takes a passage of time to become dirty, and it takes some element of time to get clean. If we could do it all ourselves, then we would not derive any wisdom and instruction from Psalm 51:10, but we can't do it alone. We need the Father's supernatural help.

If we get real honest with ourselves and about the condition of our hearts, we would see why it’s so important to take some quality, alone time in prayer with the Father. Most of us won’t do this because we don't want to deal with the clutter that we've allowed to accumulate in the inner sanctum of our beings. There are a million and one things going on all around us to distract us from this work. The busyness of our schedules makes us neglectful, and we forget how integral the conditions of our hearts are to the intimacy of our relationship with God.

Matthew 12:35 (NLT) says "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart." This verse in Matthew is very clear. It leaves no room for guess work and gets right down to the truth of the matter. You have to look at what you are producing to get some idea of what is in your heart. If you don't like the results you are producing or getting, then you have some clutter to get rid of. You have to change the condition of your heart.

To make my point here a little clearer, consider a brief conversation that I had with a woman I rode the elevator with once. She made a very negative reference to men, which was quite surprising considering that she had been married for a number of years. I, on the other hand, was single at the time and was in expectation mode (meaning I was doing some internal de-cluttering of my own and was believing God to bless me with a mate). During a brief conversation, the woman said "All men are cheaters. You won’t find a good man these days”.  If I had not been a mature believer, to hear such a statement could have knocked me back a few steps mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, but I knew better. Before I knew it, the words “you couldn’t be more wrong” rolled off my lips. I told her that all men are not cheaters. Just as there is an abundance of good women whose hearts are pure towards God, He will certainly make sure that there are plenty of good men to partner with them. There happened to be a man on the elevator who stood quiet during her comments, but when I made the confirmation, he looked at me and said, ”thank you”.

Women can become so bitter and cynical, that their judgments are polluted by the wrong kind of thoughts and attitudes. You have to wonder, for someone to feel so negatively about men and be married, what must be going on internally for her to make such a comment.  Perhaps this woman's husband has injured her, and if he had, she had not forgiven this debt, but rather she allowed it to fester in her heart. It caused her to spew out venom that was completely contrary to the heart of God's Will.

The work of making sure our hearts and minds are clean and filled with the goodness of God is completely our responsibility. When you invest in your own housecleaning and patiently endure as God helps you clean out the clutter, you will reap the fruits of your labor. This life is meant to be lived to the fullest, with all the abundance that Jesus Christ made available. So recognize when you've allowed too much hurt, pain, and suffering to clog up your arteries of love and light. Get rid of the toxicity, so that blessings begin to flow your way.●

07/11/2011

A View from The Inside
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Have you ever gone to an open house of a home for sale, and been totally surprised by what you saw?  On the outside it’s beautifully adorned, meticulously landscaped, and everything from the windows to the driveway is well maintained; however, when you step inside the house, it’s a completely different story. From all appearances on the outside, you would think that the interior of the home is totally immaculate and beautifully designed. The owner had done such an excellent job of maintaining the exterior, that you would think he or she bared no expense to make the interior equally as grand, but once you’ve taken a look, you find that the inside is in need of a complete makeover.

A lot of us are this way. We put on the most expensive apparel, drive expensive cars, live in expensive homes, and we look like a million bucks on the outside, but on the inside we're fragmented and depleted; with souls that are in dire need of some restoration work. The interesting thing about this predicament is that often times we don't even realize that our souls need some attention until something goes terribly wrong. Then we run to the Father for a quick fix. He is always there to rescue us, but often He will require us to take a view from the inside out. He will lead us to inward to get really honest with ourselves and come clean about what we see.  

When we deal with ourselves honestly, no matter the situation, whether we are praying to God for a spouse, a house, spiritual elevation, or anything else, He will help us with the internal work that needs to be done. And yes, this work comes before the blessing. It's a process, and it's useless to waste time becoming disillusioned or impatient. Often this is our response, but this only highlights our immaturity. We have to be willing to look in the mirror and see our own faults and shortcomings, because God deals with the truth. He has no part in a lie. This is why it is so incredibly important for you to take a ‘diagnostic evaluation’ of the person you've groomed yourself to be.

Jesus taught his disciples through a very plain and poignant parable in Luke 8:5-10(The Message):

"A farmer went out to sow his seed. Some of it fell on the road; it was tramped down and the birds ate it. Other seed fell in the gravel; it sprouted, but withered because it didn't have good roots. Other seed fell in the weeds; the weeds grew with it and strangled it. Other seed fell in rich earth and produced a bumper crop.

"Are you listening to this? Really listening?"

 9His disciples asked, "Why did you tell this story?"

 10He said, "You've been given insight into God's kingdom—you know how it works. There are others who need stories. But even with stories some of them aren't going to get it:

 Their eyes are open but don't see a thing,
 Their ears are open but don't hear a thing.

Jesus Christ taught the disciples this parable and then asked, "Are you really paying attention to what I'm saying here?" He asked them this question because the buck stops with them, just as the buck stops with us. If you don't get real with yourself, how can you expect anyone else to be real with you. God has given us His Word in order that we might grow spiritually and prosper, but some of us are still at an infant stage of believing. We are easily offended, easy to catch an attitude, and we put on airs as if we have it all together. We are not fooling God, and we're not fooling others either. The holes in our armor will eventually be exposed, and our outside will eventually become a mirror image of the inside.

Sometimes we allow the lie to live inside us too long. Just like the person with an immaculate home on the outside, and a disorderly home on the inside, we are more concerned about appearances than we are about the trouble in our souls. We need to hear what God is saying through our circumstances. He is calling us to turn our attention to Him, and to understand that He is preparing us for the work that we all must do.

In verse 14 of Luke 8, Jesus explained the parable by saying:
14"And the seed that fell in the weeds—well, these are the ones who hear, but then the seed is crowded out and nothing comes of it as they go about their lives worrying about tomorrow, making money, and having fun.

There is freedom in the love of Jesus Christ. By accepting Him as our Lord and Savior we have the privilege to live our lives in truth, and the truth shall always make us free.  But so many of us choose to live in bondage and fear, because we worry and obsess about the wrong things. We don't have time for this anymore. It's time for us to hear what God is telling us, and see what He is showing us through His love. Unclogging our hearts and souls so that we can hear His directives clearly ought to be the central focus and desire in our lives.

Understand Dear Sisters, that certain truths will need to be revealed in you before the blessing. Now is the time to set about a course to line yourself up in the right direction. While there is still time before the harvest, plant seeds of love, and nurture your soul with His Word. Be patient as the Lord teaches you how to present a meticulously maintained body of faith, one where you have confidence that your seeds are growing and will not be over crowded by the weeds of apathy and worldliness. Line up with the Word, pray that your eyes and ears are open, and be patient as the Father helps you keep yourself in check.●

07/05/2011

"Two Are Better than One"

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Genesis 2:18 (NKJV) says, "And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." These are words spoken by our all powerful Heavenly Father. If He has said that it is not good for man to be alone, then we have no other choice but to take Him at His Word. It is clear on all accounts that He did not intend that a man should be without a wife. This is not meant to tear someone down or to say it’s wrong to choose not to get married. But marriage is about God's intention for the family unit. It’s about the benefits of two people making the decision to be committed to one another through the love of Jesus Christ.

The advantages to companionship are immeasurable, but there are many people that desire to remain single. Of course everyone has the right to make up their own minds as to what’s best for them, but sometimes, particularly when it comes to men, many of them would like to remain single for selfish reasons.

One of the get-realisms of our day and time is the fact that there seems to be more single women looking to get married than single men. This in many instances has given our male counterparts an unfair advantage. It is unfair in the sense that many men have used the excessive numbers of eligible women to justify staying single far too long. Men will go on to acquire financial stability, often choosing to indulge themselves in selfishness without giving serious thought to what God desires for their lives.

Men who philander about like this are typically not all that concerned with words like destiny and purpose. They want as many conquests as they can handle, and many of us women are far too willing to take part in this game. If a brother is of the mentality and attitude that it's perfectly acceptable to date and have multiple relationships with women at the same time, no woman on earth can change his mind. We fool ourselves into thinking that we can, but any person who would devalue other human beings in this way is beyond recognizing his own worth; and therefore is not apt to recognize anyone else's.

Another get-realism is the fact that there are more spiritually astute Christian women these days than there are Christian men. There are many men who believe in God through our Lord and Savior, but some of them don't seem to have the heart for God that women do. This was certainly not the Father's intention. But even with this disparity in spiritual maturity, God wants women and men, husbands and wives, to learn how to love each other in the spirit, and to praise and worship Him together. This is why it's so important to honor and desire the union of marriage. Look at Ephesians 5:1-2 (The Message):

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.  

Men and women were meant to work together to share in the abundant life that Christ made available. What’s the purpose of working to gain success, to only take pleasure in the benefits alone - what legacy are you leaving by doing that? Ecclesiastes 4: 8-12, explains it all so well:    

⁸ There was a man all alone;
   he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
   yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
   “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
   a miserable business!

 ⁹ Two are better than one,
   because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
   one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
   and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
   But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
   two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

It is humbling for the woman to know that she was created from a man's rib, but it should be equally humbling for a man to realize that God has given him a help mate for a reason. There’s nothing that two married people can’t accomplish together. They can help each other succeed in life, and they have the honor and privilege to teach their children the Word of God and to bring them up in the admonition of His love through Jesus Christ. What could be better than that?

In this day and age that we live in, it’s to your advantage to pray to God for a Godly mate, someone to build a life together; someone who’s going to have your back in every situation and circumstance. There is victory in two of the Father's children joining together in His Holy name, learning to walk together and live out their lives in service to Him. There's power in two Christian folks standing together, they're a mighty force to be reckon with. This is one of the main reasons why the adversary would love to see more single folk than a family knit together in the Love of Jesus Christ, because he knows the power of unity. 

We live in a ruthless world, where nowadays people would rather love themselves and their money than to partner with another in the love of Christ. We live in a time where people act religious, but they are entirely void of Godliness. That's why you must be careful, my beloved Sisters, that you don't accept less than what God has for you. And never, never lose faith, because if you desire to be married to a worthy man, the Father's will is for you to be married as well. He wants it more for you than you do for yourself. So be wise and discerning, and don't lose heart. God has a man for you, and He will see to it that you have a marital union that is strong, loving, and not quickly broken.●

06/27/2011

These Three Things

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The Bible tells us in 1Corinthians 13:13 that three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.  Why do you think the greatest of these three is love?  Well let's examine 1John 4:6-8(NIV) to find out why. It says "7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." This is the ultimate eye-opener isn't it? If you do not love, then you do not know God, because Heavenly Father is love. That's beautiful! So simple. From this we have no other choice but to surmise that we had better learn to love if we want to please God, and if we don't know how, we would do well to seek His Word to find out. 

As we explore the lessons of loving in God's way from the scriptures, we will find out very quickly that love is a decision. We try to make it so complicated, but it's really as simple as making the conscious choice in our minds and hearts to just love. You may have thought that loving a person, particularly someone you are attracted to, means that you have to go through those ooey gooey feelings of having your heart race while butterflies flutter away in your belly. That stuff is fun and has its place, but true love comes from making a commitment to care for, support, and honor another human being. It takes real spiritual maturity, and that is what God is looking for us to display.

Love doesn't hang on the hinges of emotional pining and upheaval. These are symptoms we experience when we are first learning love's power, but as mature Christians we cannot become lost in emotionalism. The only way to truly love someone is to make the choice to love our God through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

If someone tells you they love you, and they don't have the love of Christ in their hearts, then you have to be suspect. Not because you believe the person lacks genuine feelings, but as a born again believer, you must know that it’s impossible to understand love without knowing the one who is the author and finisher of it. Your response shouldn't be to tell them that they have no clue, or to call them a liar. Your response is to demonstrate for them what true love is by your walk, talk, and example.

You see, you don't give up on people when they don't know our Lord and Savior. You don't place them in the expendable pile because they are not saved. Everyone who comes across your path comes across it for a reason. They present you with an opportunity to leave a lasting impression of God's love upon them. Many a female has lost the chance to partner because she wasn't mature enough in the spirit to display an exquisite portrait of the Father's love. Instead, she was selfish, thinking only of what the man didn't have and how unimpressive his physical attributes may have been. How can the Father get the glory out of such behavior as this?

1 Corinthians 13:7 says "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." Doesn't that just cut right through all the nonsense. This is love! Love never gives up. The Father had every right to give up on us, but He didn't. He loved us and keeps on loving us through our darkest times.

Yes, the Father's love is what gets us through some of the most difficult times in our lives. It gets us out of bed in the morning and makes us want to share our lives with others. Love is the very thing that shapes and molds us into the person the Father wants us to be. So when a person doesn't have the Father's love on the inside—for that matter, wherever there is an absence of the love of God—there will be the presence of pain, darkness, loneliness, and hopelessness. These are not happy emotions, but ones that weigh us down and cause us to feel less than worthy. As Christians, our job is to help fill in the void. We are to minister to folks who don't know the love of God in their hearts, and help them get beyond the pain of not having it.  

Love lifts us up. If you are a single person endeavoring to marry or meet the person you'll spend the rest of your life with, understand that you will never be pushed behind the eight ball for loving rightly. Every single time you display the love of God you are bringing yourself closer and closer to a walk down the aisle. But understand that it takes more than love, it takes faith as well. No matter how long the wait, faith will have its perfect work in you when God's love is at work in your life.

You might have your moments when you question if God will keep His promises. You might wonder if He'll let you fall, but Psalm 116:8 tells us that the Lord will keep our feet from falling, so we have to trust and believe through faith that He will do what He has promised.

You have to know in the belly of your knowing that God has given you all that you need to live out a purposeful and victorious life. He left absolutely nothing undone for His kids. So you don't have to walk around disappointed in life or worried that you won't get married. You can be hopeful every second of every day, despite what the circumstances are, because you know that things will work out to your benefit according to the promise of the Father.

Through Jesus Christ, the Father has given us love, faith, and hope. These three things will last forever, and we can have unrelenting confidence as we use them to build the foundation of our lives. We can choose to demonstrate God's love freely and know beyond a shadow of doubt that love never fails, faith never dies, and hope is eternal.●

06/20/2011

Enduring the Struggle
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I’m sure you are probably aware of the fact that being a born again Christian does not exempt you from tribulations in life; as a matter of fact, it almost feels at times that being one of God’s children increases the probability of struggle. It’s not that tribulations are a prerequisite for being a Christian, but facing adversity and having the strength to endure struggle gives you a new understanding of what faith is all about. Exercising faith is one of the most crucial elements of Christianity, because faith  pleases God. Hebrews 11:6; NKJV says, "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

The Bible tells us the kind of struggles we can expect once we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. In John 15:19-20 (NKJV), Jesus told the disciples: ¹⁸ “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. ¹⁹ If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. ²⁰ Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you."

Whether it’s problems with your family, pressures at work, or financial woes, this world system is dominated by the demonic influences. The devil has corrupted every facet of the world. The Christian has to know that he or she cannot win using the devil's devices—you can't win by implementing the strategies of this world. God has told us to how to achieve abundance. He has told us how to be over-comers and over-achievers. We do it through His Word.

As long as we stay in the Word, God will be with us. He'll help us beautifully navigate through the turns and twists of life. When we study His Word, we find out that no matter what we go through, we are not, and never will be, alone in the struggle. This is how adversity strengthens your relationship with the Father, because when you’re going through struggles and tribulations, you begin to really see that it is Him pulling you through. God does not orchestrate the struggle. He does not cause it. The devil is the thief, liar, and destroyer, so we cannot blame our struggle on God, but we can have every confidence that He will see us through it. Our Heavenly Father will give us the victory!

This is the realization He desires you to have. He wants you to know that nothing can separate you from His love. You see, this is something you have to know way down deep in your innermost. You can't just talk about it or read about it. You have to live it!

God wants you to grow to the point where you have so much faith in Him that doubt is not even a temptation for you. But sometimes it takes a long while for us to get to this place. When troubles come, some of us instantly cave. We develop an attitude of defeat and sadness. Then, our lives spin even more out of control and we become unbalanced and fragmented. When this happens you have got to get a grip. This is the time to really dig in your heels and hold tight to the love of Jesus Christ, because He’s your help. He’s the one that will hold it all together for you. It's not your strength, but his.   

God designed life to flow effortlessly, with ease and synchronicity, but sin entered the picture, and this sin causes us to be out of synch with the flow. We can't afford to allow our minds and hearts to remain out of balance with God's harmony. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NKJV) says that we ought to be "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." We have to capture our thoughts, take a look at them, and whip them into shape by consciously and continually thinking the Word. 

To struggle in Christ is to know that you are going through it to get to the other side. So have faith and be unmovable through the crisis. Stay fully persuaded amidst the obstacles, and be convinced that you have the victory through any struggle. God is preserving and keeping you through the storm. You are building spiritual muscle and your relationship with Him is growing stronger day by day. He is teaching you to endure, so that you can see firsthand what it is to truly live by His power.●

06/13/2011

Pay Attention to the Details
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I want to tell you something that might come as a bit of a surprise. Life is designed to flow with simplicity and ease. Yes, it really is, because God set it up this way. Throughout the bible you will find scriptures that speak to this truth. 1John 4:18 NIV tells us very plainly that "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." God intended us to walk in His perfect love. If we did this the way He intended us to, we could walk without fear of any kind. We would not fear retribution or punishment, because, like Jesus Christ,  we would never do anything to warrant them.

Just as a tree is known by the fruit it bears, a person will be judged by the decisions he or she makes. Every day we choose a path that will either ensure we’re living a life of blessings or a life filled with negative consequences. That’s why it’s so critically important to watch and pay attention to the details of your own life, but often times we don't pay attention. We become so overwhelmed with the complexities of life that we lose focus and direction, which in turn causes us to lose time, momentum and stamina on our spiritual journeys.

I have noticed that whenever I get off track with God’s plan and purpose for my life, I begin to feel lost or confused about what direction my life is taking. It's like getting lost while you are driving. One of the most frustrating and scary things in the world is to not know where you are going. A person could very well have directions or a map, and still not have a clue which way to go. But oh boy, what a sense of relief to finally find your way.

God doesn't want us to get lost in life. He doesn't want us to lose time, momentum, or stamina,. He wants us to win, and in order to win we have to be spiritually aware of how we are responding to what is around us. Proverbs 5:1 and 21 NKJV says; "My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding, 21; For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths." See, if we try to figure life out on our own, without using God's roadmap, we are bound to get lost, but through the Word of God we can follow His directives and stay on the right track all the time.  

Our Heavenly Father instructs us to pay attention for a reason. Stuff is happening all around us, and whether you know it or not, the most unlikely folks are eyeing you, watching how you behave.  When you proclaim that you’re a Christian, you are going to draw attention. You will be stamped with a seal of “do-rightness”, so to speak, because people will expect you to have a higher standard of morality and judgment.

You don't get a day off from the job. You must be dutiful and watchful all the time, not allowing the details of godliness and righteousness to slip by your conscious mind. God has a way of getting your attention when you are on the verge of a slipup. When situations get a little sticky or troublesome, the Father will tell you, "Wake up! You're getting off track. Your heart and mind are moving further away from My Word and your circumstances are evidence of that. You are not doing what I called you to do. So pay attention, and get back in focus."

Psalm 119:113 NIV says "Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me." This has to be our prayer every day. We ought to pray that God will direct our footsteps and keep us from falling. We ought to pray that He heightens our sense of awareness so that we don't become neglectful in our daily walk with Him. And then, we ought to recognize that when the hiccups of life come our way, it isn't because God wanted us to experience discomfort. It's because we left off a piece of His armor. We got busy tending to the world and forgot to stay focused on His Word.

You don’t ever want to be in a position where sin has entered your life to such a degree that you lose sight of what is right and wrong. You want God to reign you in before that happens. So instead of worrying about what is happening in your circumstances, pay closer attention to the details of godliness. Watch how people respond to you—how you treat others—how you speak to others. Take an inventory of the love that you put out, because if it isn't coming back to you in abundance, then you are not putting it out in abundance.

Truly it is a privilege to live with purpose. Some people say that being a Christian is too heavy a load to carry, or that they can’t live up to God’s expectations. These are individuals who do not understand why they were placed on this earth. We were put here to have fellowship with God, and to follow the example of His son, Jesus Christ. If you lack the will to be diligent and tenacious about these two very important details, then you won’t be vigilant with other details of your life either. You are a child of God. Your steps are already ordered, so don't get caught up in the details of difficulties, but see them as a wake-up call, and pay attention to the life you were called to live.●
 

5/30/2011

Where Do You Need to Be?
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There is something to be said about being at the right place at the right time. As Christians this notion of positioning and timing has to be extremely important to us, because it is only when you are in the right place at the right time can you wholly grasp the opportunity you've been seeking. Many of us have been praying for a breakthrough blessing, but in all honesty it isn't the blessing we ought to be praying for, it's the opportunity to seize it. We should be praying that at the appointed time, we will be at a place in our spiritual walk where we will not only recognize the chance to grab what is rightfully ours, but we'll know how to do exactly that.

If a man living in a small village has a thirsty family, what good would it do for him to walk to the well with no bucket. This would be a highly unproductive thing for him to do, but this is exactly the approach many of us take when it comes to blessings. Often we pray for them without any intention of doing our part to prepare to receive. We go to the well of God's infinite and abundant overflow without a bucket.

For the Christian, it’s crucial that we pay close attention to the details, because the blessing is often revealed in them. If you haven't learned to be spiritually equipped through the Word, then you may miss the crucial steps that will lead you where you need to be. You never know when you are going to be in the midst of an incredible opportunity, one that will lead to your blessing. But in order to be led there, you have to show up, and you have to show up prepared to move as God would have you to move. You have to be confident that through Christ, God will reveal where you should go, how you should get there, and when you should be there. This kind of trust and confidence can only come from knowing His Word.    

1Corinthians 16:13 says "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong." Colossians 4:2(NIV) tells us "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." 1Thessalonians 5:6(NIV) warns "let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober." What does all this tell us? It tells us that God wants us to master the art of paying attention. He wants to speak to us through His Word.  

We know from John 16:13 that the Holy Spirit will guide and direct us, but often, rather than studying the Word and learning to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, we become paralyzed emotionally. We think that God is keeping our blessing from us because we've done something wrong. And so we become stuck in this really bad place. If you feel yourself going into this kind of drought, do yourself a favor; resolve never to camp out there for too long.

All of us spiral from time to time. We get in a funk, and it seems that the walls are closing in on us. Then, when we are already struggling to maintain some semblance of stability, everyone will jump on the bandwagon to bring us down and add to our misery. When things get this way you can't lose control. You've got to learn to snap out of it by grabbing on to the Lord with both hands.

As you read the Word, God will speak to your mind and heart. As you meditate on the scriptures, He will administer healing through our beloved Savior, Jesus Christ. You have to understand that your time of distress is a time when the spirit of Christ within you is really at work. It is a time when some internal rearranging can take place—a time when the Holy Spirit can help you to figure some stuff out, so that you can hear the voice of God more clearly as He instructs you to get into position.

Psalm 119:133(NKJV)
Direct my steps by Your word, And let no iniquity have dominion over me.

When you’ve been looking and searching for something of great magnitude, only God can orchestrate the details of you receiving it. He will direct your steps by His Word, but this is a spiritual process. God doesn't reach down from heaven and move us about like robots. He expects us to have studied the Word to the point where we recognize His directions, and therefore we will know where God wants us to be.

Where do YOU need to be? Only God knows, but I guarantee you that getting there requires you to pay more attention to your relationship with Him. So make it a habit to spend as much quality time studying His Word as you possibly can.  Recognize that one of the greatest tricks of the enemy is to take you away from studying God's Word by getting you to focus on your emotional pain. Don't be distracted this way. Wake up and be alert to what is happening in you and around you. Recognize these tricks for what they are, and don't let anything get you off the trail of godliness.

Your faith in God will align your steps with His divine order. If you slip up by doing, thinking, saying or behaving in a way that puts a monkey wrench in things, remember that God has someplace for you to be, and resolve to get there, because even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes, you are well on your way!● 

5/16/2011

Love Covers
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Proverbs 10:12 (NIV) says "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." This is one of those treasures in the bible that brings to light a contrast between two choices. On one side we have hate, which stirs up dissension and division. On the other side we have love, which covers ALL wrongs. From this poignantly simple jewel of wisdom in Proverbs 10, we have the very nature of love revealed. Love covers! What does it cover? It covers ALL wrongs.

Most of us have met quite a few people with cynicism and hatred in their hearts. Their main objective is to tear down and divide. And the sad thing about them is the fact that they take pleasure in tearing others down. They are their happiest when they spot an opportunity to set friend against friend, and man against wife. By telling lies, plotting and manipulating, misrepresenting the truth, and blowing up arguments, these soldiers of malice and deceit coax us into being major players in their evil games.

If we would only gather our wits about us and see the devil's plots for what they are, oh how much grief we would save ourselves. Ephesians 6:12(NKJV) says "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,* against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." We must remember at all times that those who come against us are not the real enemy. The spirit of wickedness that works through them is our adversary. 

We are not wrestling with flesh and blood, but against spiritual wickedness. So why in the world would we try and put up our dukes for a fist fight, when there's something deeper going on. That's like trying to use a sling shot to stop a missile. Women who have husbands that are adulterous will often go after the other woman by attempting to attack her physically. That's the silliest thing in the world. The only result that can be accomplished by this is to give the adulterous woman more power.

The devil wants your authority. You must understand this. God has given you the greatest gift that can be given, which is the love of Christ. If the enemy can get you to act out of vengeance, jealousy, rage, and fear, then he will have suckered you into forking over your authority and power. Because in the very moment that you re-act in violence and anger, you turn your back on the love of Christ. You sink to a base-level consciousness where sin, death, and fear abide. There is no room for this kind of behavior in a marriage, or a relationship of any kind for that matter.

People will try their best to take you there, to take you to that place where you lose it, but you've got to be stronger and wiser than that. You must allow love to cover all wrongs. Instead of aggravating a situation further, love conceals. You see, love doesn't offend. The whole chapter of Romans 14 talks about the responsibility that we have as faith-filled, mature Christians. If those who are not as strong in the faith as we are have a problem with certain things that we do, we ought not to do them in their presence. As Christians, we cannot run the risk of bringing offense to others, because love doesn't behave that way. Romans 14:13 (NLT) says "So let's stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall."         

Through his life, ministry, and sacrifice, Jesus Christ taught us that love covers. He showed us by example that love doesn't hold a grudge, but it will excuse a wrong doing. When you have a mindset to live in such a way that is pleasing to the Father, it must completely change not only the way you view life, but how you treat others. Romans 13:10 says, Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God's law. You must make the conscious choice, particularly in a heated situation, to put on the love of Jesus Christ, because it will make all the difference. It keeps you from going to that dark place. It reminds you of the mistakes you have made in the past, and the love of Christ helps you to forgive your enemies. 

The one common thing that binds us all together is the need for love and acceptance. But even though we are united by our common need for love, a lot of Christians still have a difficult time with showing it. There is no excuse for this. We have a responsibility to study the Word, to learn about how the love of Christ behaves, and then we must put it into practice with everything that we do.

Love is the cornerstone of our existence. It is what motivates us to wake up every day, and it is the very reason why we were created. The bible tells us that God's love covers all wrongs, and this is why we have to allow it to be the governing factor in our lives, because love is meant to lift you up and keep you covered!●

5/02/2011

Five Tips to Help
 Kick Your Faith into High Gear
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There's little else that a woman wants more in life than a loving, compatible man to spend the rest of her life with. There's no faking it with this one. We are programmed to want companionship. This doesn't mean that being single should be an uncomfortable time in a woman’s life, but for a lot of women these days it is. For many women it is increasingly unbearable to be alone, but if you really think about it, Woman of God, it is only unbearable if you have doubt in your heart. To be blatantly honest, if you find yourself struggling to cope with loneliness, your faith in God isn't quite where it needs to be. Here are five spiritual tips to kick your faith in high gear:

1.) Think thoughts of love instead of thoughts of loneliness
Do you realize that every time you have a negative thought or feeling you are hurting yourself more than anyone else? Well you are. Thoughts and feelings are energy. I know it may sound a little too scientific for some, but God is the author of science. When you express a thought with feeling and emotion, you are releasing something from your inner being. You set something really powerful in motion. This energy that you release will come back to you. Luke 6:38 NKJV affirms  "Give, and it will be given to you... For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you."  What you put out there comes back to you.

Loneliness comes as a result of indulging thoughts of doubt and fear. Catch yourself before you sink into that abyss, and flip the switch. Love yourself enough to saturate your thoughts with goodness. Spend your time thinking about how wonderful it is going to be to have someone love you as much as you love them.

2.) Feel Good on Purpose
It's no secret that the enemy will try to steal your joy. Resist him by resisting the urge to feel depleted, lackluster, and down. These drowning negatives will do nothing but set you up for more of the same. You want different results, right? So that means you have to do things differently. No matter what your circumstances look like, feel good on purpose. Act your way through it. God didn't tell us to FEEL courageous; He said BE courageous. This means to take authority and claim your feel-good moments by making an on-purpose choice to feel positive. Your mate is on his way, begin to act and feel like you know it.

3.) Remember, love is a decision
Love is a decision; it’s not something that just happens. It's a trick to think that love makes us out of control. Just like anything else, love is a conscious choice that we make. It sounds so romantic to want to lose yourself in someone, but don't be fooled by that. God has given you power to exercise authority over your mind, heart, and soul, and you should never want to give that authority away to anyone.

To love honestly, wholesomely, and openly, is to do so with a heart filled with God's love. This is the kind of love that is w

ise and loyal. So be sure that you are not allowing yourself to be fooled into wanting to give away your heart. It's yours to guard and keep, so that you make good decisions about who to love and how to love in a way that pleases the Father.

4.) Spend Quality Time in Prayer
Be careful to put first things first in your prayer life. Don't spend so much time praying about finding a mate. If you're missing opportunities to do good, then that is where you need to focus your prayer time.

There are oodles upon oodles of opportunities to give and show love every day. If you are having trouble recognizing them, then begin to spend some real quality time in prayer. Ask the Father to open the eyes of your spiritual understanding so that you can see what He desires you to see. Because if you can't see the many ways He places before you to give love and be a blessing every day, then you certainly won't be able to recognize the gift of your mate.

5.) Believe, Believe, Believe
Take a look at what Jesus said to the disciples. He said in Matthew 17:20NKJV, "for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."

The only thing that holds us back from having anything in life that we desire is a lack of faith.  Absolutely nothing is impossible or insurmountable to the believer when they properly exercise faith. Jesus Christ said that, because of the disciple's unbelief, they couldn’t do what He had told them to do, which was heal the sick. They wavered in their belief. They doubted that God's power would work through them to carry out the work they were charged to complete. Anytime we seek something from God, we have to remember that it's His power that works through us. To doubt ourselves, is to doubt Him.

Not everyone has the flatfooted faith to trust that God will provide what they ask of Him, but you should have this kind of faith. If no one else believes, you ought to. If you are the last person standing on earth, you should be standing on faith, believing that God will bring you a mate even if He has to make him appear out of thin air. That's just how sold-out you should be on God's Word.

Finally my Sisters, just be convinced of the reality of who you are through Christ. Recognize that everything you need, you already have through him. You're complete in our blessed Savior, and that means that you've been blessed with the power to get what’s already yours. So line up your thoughts, feelings, confessions, and deeds with God's love. This is how you claim your marital status in the name of Jesus Christ, and have unwavering faith in it.● 

4/25/2011

Wide Open!

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Sistas, let's have an open and frank discussion about compatibility. We know that 2Corinthians 6:14 tells us that we ought not to be unequally yoked, but we gotta' keep it real—I'm talking about some way down deep keepin' it real. Because, a lot of us have preconceived notions about the difficulties of partnering with an unsaved man, but truth be told, I've heard stories about Christian marriages that are in trouble big time—marriages where both the individuals are born-again believers. And they are having just as many problems as those who may not know the Lord. You might have heard a few stories yourself, and you may be thinking that an unsaved man doesn't look all that bad. Well, hold up a minute. Let's break it down a little bit, shall we?

Some will ask, "Unequally yoked means that I can't marry someone who doesn't believe in Jesus Christ, right?" Well, unequally yoked refers to an individual who is under a different yoke than the believer. Either by choice or default, this person has no interest in accepting Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. 2Corinthians 6:14 tells us not to fellowship with such a person. When we say "fellowship" in this context, intimacy is inferred, because we know that human connections are very intimate in nature. We develop ties to and with one another, and God is telling us to be watchful and careful about who we tie ourselves to. We are to proceed with caution. 

The one thing that you can see for yourself, is that people in general become very attached to their beliefs. So much so that those beliefs dictate who they will be and how they will behave. We, as humans, take on the yoke of our beliefs or non-beliefs, and we wear this yoke everyday of our lives. The puzzling thing is that when you meet someone initially, sometimes you really can't tell what kind of yoke they are wearing, because they may appear to be non-committal to any belief system at all. But sooner or later some type of belief system will come to the forefront, and if that yoke is set against the love of Christ, and you've allowed yourself to become emotionally invested...well....you've got a major problem on your hands.

I believe one of the major reasons why Christians marriages struggle so much is because both the man and the woman lose sight of God's agenda. They forget that their lives don't belong to them, and that God has a plan and they both have a integral part in that plan. In a Christian marriage, the bottom line is that you have to trust God implicitly; you have to trust Him with your finances, your children, and your sex life. It can't be about you, the spouse, or the child. It has to be about the love of God. If marriages where both individuals are Christian struggle with this, imagine what it is like when one spouse is trying to hold the marriage together...whewww!

The one thing you will do well to remember is that God gave us 2Corinthians 6:14 for our own spiritual benefit. Sure, there are some wonderful and extraordinarily gifted unbelieving men out there. Is one of them your future husband? It's not impossible, but you had surely better check in big time with the Father before you make the biggest mistake of your life.

While in expectation mode, many of us Sisters will envision the characteristics and qualities that we would like the man we marry to have—right down to the very shoes he wears. Because a man may fit this criteria, we will try to force our hand to get him to commit to our beliefs. Sometimes, very often times, this doesn't work. It's no use trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. That only demonstrates your distrust in God to provide for your need. 

God has your back, and your everyday actions must speak to the fact that you know this in your heart. You must remember that your expectations of what’s ideal for you may be completely different than what God knows you need. I say this with the hope that women will keep an open mind and more importantly an open heart, so that they are flexible to God’s plan when it comes to partnering. You may not feel it, but right now, God is preparing you to accept His presentation. So make sure that your eyes are wide open.

If you’re the type of person that hates to be wrong about something, then it may be a bit of a challenge for you to surrender your ideas of the perfect man. It may be hard for you to allow the possibility of something new and different in your life. For instance, your ideal mate may be the kind of man that prioritizes YOU above all else. However, in order for this kind of man to enter into your world, your level of devotion to God must be incredibly strong. Your commitment to love and nurture must be tight enough to put up with all the other stuff that comes with having someone focusing on you all the time. Additionally, the qualities you seek, such as commitment, a loving and devoted nature, and a generous heart may come in a completely different package than you’d expect.

Sometimes we have our minds so set on what we want, that we forget the important details like whether or not the man will foster our spiritual growth or tear it down. You see, our Heavenly Father does not see out of the flawed lenses that we do. And I don’t mean that your views are without honest intention, what I’m suggesting is that it is impossible to know all that you need to know about a man before you walk down the aisle. God sees your future and your potential husband’s future as well. So bottom line, whoever he is, saved or unsaved, don't be foolish. YOU are the only you that you have. Give yourself the gift of keeping your eyes wide open. Don't see what you want to see, see what God is showing you. Waiting for Him to tell you concretely, resolutely, beyond any uncertainty, that your future husband's yoke was divinely ordained to be joined with yours. 

4/18/2011

Ready to Receive
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Most women in today's society believe that if you want to capture a man's interest you have to present your best qualities. However in their opinion, best qualities equate to being attractive, curvaceous, having a good job and looking the part. They think that this is enough of the right stuff to make any man stop and take notice, right? …Uh, uh, uhhh – not anymore. Let's face it Sistas, there are more women looking to partner up than men; therefore, men tend to think that they have more choices. The bottom line is that many men who are looking, don't feel as though they have to look as hard and long as they use to. For many women this might be bad news, but for the woman of God it's just the news she needs to hear.

The other day, I complimented an old friend on how beautiful and radiant she looked. She thanked me for the compliment and asked "why is it that I still can’t find a man?” We chuckled, but I thought about her question on my way home, and reflected on the number of times that I have heard many other women make similar kinds of remarks. It's absolutely astonishing to see so many beautiful and attractive women who are desiring to marry, but are still single. I'm sure you are just as curious and perplexed by this as I am. You just want to go out, find a single man, shake him and say "What's wrong with you?"

Well, as Christians we know that we can't do anything like that. There's a better solution for this conundrum, and it's in the Word of God. Whenever there is a problem as perplexing as this, the solution can forever and always be sought in the Word. It's the Word, the Word, the Word. Everything that pertains to life and Godliness is right in God’s Word. Let's start with a familiar scripture that really sets the parameters of faith and believing. It's in Matthew 6:33 (NLT), and I know you know it. "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

This is so plain and simple, yet it eludes most Christians still today. Any time you desire something that always seems to be out of your grasp, the first place to look is within your own mind, heart, and soul. You look at how you are prioritizing your walk with God, because that will tell the story about the level of abundance and growth in every area of your life.

When you are not putting God first in your life, there's no big flashing yellow light that comes out of the sky to warn you that you are embarking upon dangerous territory. The yellow light comes by way of your circumstances. First there's a knock, second there's a thump, then all of a sudden there's a big ol' bolder on top of your head. Now, you may not personally feel that not having a much desired partner is a bolder on your head, but many single women do feel this way. The weight of going through life alone feels almost unbearable to them.

Every woman who desires a successful and fulfilling relationship with a man can appreciate the work it takes to make it a reality. It’s truly not about the nice car, the good job or even how attractive you are. Truth be told, it doesn’t take much for a man to recognize marriage material in a woman at all. It sounds like a cliché, but it's true; marriage material is about the level of love in your heart, because the heart and soul does the drawing, not what's on the outside (although the outside can help out too.)   

Now if you’re desperate, guess what, that’s exactly the energy you'll transmit to a man. He will pick up your eagerness to latch on, and this does nothing but set you up for a tremendous fall. However, if you’ve been actively operating within Matthew 6:33, then your radar will be so on point that your statement will radiate a woman that’s prepared, cultivated in the spirit, and ready for the man who is destiny material.

Woman of God, you must be like Abraham—fully persuaded that what God has promised He is able and willing to fulfill. You cannot shrink in your stand on His Word, because He wants you to have all good things, including a good man that will love you and be a wonderful partner. Always know beyond all uncertainty that God wants this for you and He will provide it. Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that our minds can’t even grasp all that He has done for us; take a look at 1 Corinthians 2:9 NLT: That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him."

It takes much more than what’s on the outside to make you ready for a blessing from God. You can't just look the part on the outside. Something within you has to convey your readiness to partner. The Father knows this, that's why He is calling upon you to straighten some things out and begin to live His way. You and I cannot neglect the "living righteously" part of Matthew 6:33 and still expect to reap the rewards, and yet this is exactly the problem that is causing so many of us to remain single, when we would prefer to be married.

Living God's way is problematic for some of us because it beckons us to abandon our former ways and take on God’s approach. God's approach doesn’t do anything half way, nor will He accept anything half way, so this means that we have to do some work on ourselves. If we want things to BE right with our Mr. Right, then we have to DO right. So in a nutshell, it’s time to get yourself together so that when God gives, you’ll be ready to receive.

"Ready to Receive" written by Kim Ayala, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

4/11/2011

Your Actions Tell the Story
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Most of us are familiar with a movie about four girlfriends, all of them struggling to fully love themselves while they dealt with some pretty serious issues with the men in their lives as well. They were either cultivating, getting over, or releasing these relationships, and they were plagued by the same tribulations that most of us have endured at one time or another in our own lives. They were holding their breaths, waiting on the man to wake up and finally love and appreciate them. Anyone who watched this movie had to be moved by the desire of these women to simply exhale and give themselves over to the reality that "Yes! He finally gets it! He finally understands that I'm worthy of his love and so much more."

So many women are waiting for this moment when they can exhale a sigh of relief because they have found their Mr. Right. And if we've waited a while, sometimes we develop all this pent up angst because we feel that like the women in the movie, Mr. Right may not find his way to us. This doubt leads us to start making life way more difficult than it needs to be. We completely forget that God already knows who we are. He knows that we are worthy. And He doesn't want us to lose sight of what's really important when the right man finally does comes along.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

God knows what path you need to be on. He knows how to make that path straight and how to get you from point A to point B, but we forget this simple truth. We set out to do things our own way. For instance, rather than studying the Word and zooming in on our relationship with God, we allow other things to occupy our time. Do you know the message this conveys to God? It says that when your relationship with your future spouse is new, you'll lose sight of your commitment to nourish your own spiritual well-being. You'll get busy nourishing the needs of your new love instead.

Yes, God will expect you to be attentive to your husband's needs, but you must master the art of balance. You must learn to prioritize the things of God. 1 John 3:18-19 (NLT) says, "Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions. It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord."

God knows everything. That includes what it takes for you to get the love you deserve. But it is important to the Lord that you know how to show love through your actions. This means that you can't skimp on doing things like reading the Word and spending quality prayer time with the Lord, because these are the things that not only reflect your level of commitment to God, but also your love and care for your own spiritual well-being too. If you don't nourish your soul through the Word, then you will not be your best self. And when you're not your best self, you are not in a position to love others in the way that they deserve either.

The only way for you and I to live in truth is to demonstrate the truth by our actions. What we DO speaks to the truth of who we are, and trust me, if you’re endeavoring to attract a loving, Godly mate, your actions have to line up with the requirements of faith.

What kind of Christian muscle have you been flexing?  If you say you’re ready for love, what does this statement say about where you are, where you’ve been, and where you expect to go spiritually? Really think about these questions because loving someone and taking the next big step to partner with that person will require that your answers are centered around the love of Christ.

There are so many single Christian women who are in search of a blissful relationship that will ultimately culminate into marital bliss. And let's keep it real, many of them are craving the love and affection of a husband. Since this is the case, there must be a reason why there's an epidemic of loneliness among God’s women, and there must be a solution as well. Take a look in Romans 8:24-25(NLT):

"Now that we are saved, we eagerly look forward to this freedom. For if you already have something, you don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently."

Waiting patiently and confidently suggests that our faith is where it should be.  We can wake up every day with the assurance that God has our backs no matter what comes our way. This is the confidence that Romans 8 speaks of.  There is such freedom when you have your faith in the right place, because it takes the pressure off. You don't have to look to the left or to the right. You don't have to lean to your own understanding. You can just keep your eyes stayed on Jesus and have confidence that your faith is exactly where it should be.

Saying "I love you" is not enough. The only way to truly prove that the love of Christ is real in your life is to back your faith with the things that you do day-in and day-out. Don't forget that your actions tell the story. If you want to know about love, this is it: it's committing yourself to the actions that demonstrate that you trust God.

4/4/2011

Don't Forget the Love!
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Marriage is one of the greatest opportunities to love, minister, and be a witness to the gospel of Jesus Christ, so it stands to reason that with such a huge responsibility there comes great preparation. Now before you get all "here we go again" on me, l urge you to take a minute, reflect, and carefully consider Galatians 5:6 (NIV). It says "For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." hmmmm....faith expressing itself through love...what a concept!

It’s true that finding a compatible mate is not always an easy task, but although it requires a lot of endurance and patience, if you will allow your faith to shift into high gear the waiting part may not be nearly as weighty as you think. Life as a single woman is not meant to be grueling. It’s meant to condition your relationship with Jesus Christ until your husband arrives on the scene. Your time alone is purposeful; therefore there is nothing about your singleness that is a mistake. Yes, you may become tired of waiting for your mate, but look at it as a time to build your womanhood.

Right now, that's exactly what's going on. You are being prepared! God is helping you to build your womanhood to such a degree that your faith is unwavering, so that you are strong enough to maintain your walk in Christ and assist the spiritual walk of your future husband as well.  

This is so monumentally important for you to grasp, because today's modern society is complex and people come with some built-in stuff that will throw you for a loop if you're not prepared. You might meet a gentleman who seems pretty neat on the upshot, but after a few weeks of conversations you're like "Whoaa, is he from out of space or something?" It's not impossible that Mr. Space Cadet is your future husband, but if you haven't built up enough compassion, patience, and faith within your heart, you might just kick him to the curb and dismiss your blessing.

People are under the disillusion that just because it doesn't look, feel, and behave the way we expect it to that it can't be a blessing. We think that we couldn't possibly miss out on God's goodies, but that simply isn't true. We miss them all the time because we're not paying attention as we ought to be. Our minds are focused on everything other than demonstrating the love of God.

Some of us have no problem meeting attractive men. The problem we DO have, though, is wading through the wrong ones to get to Mr. Right. Very often times single women attract the kind of man that is more interested in their physical beauty than their "godly wife" potential. When this happens, you have to take a deeper look at what is really going on. Yes, God gave us curves for the purpose of being physically appealing to a man, but you want to be appealing to the RIGHT man. You want to attract the man who is really ready to partner. To do that you have to broadcast at a frequency that reels him in. This is accomplished when you set your dial at the highest "love" setting there is, and that's the love of Christ.   

You can't forget that love, not lust, is the central component to any long-lasting relationship. If you've got all kinda' other disturbances like selfishness, arrogance, and conceit causing interference in your love frequency, then you've got to do the work to clear up your signal.

Colossians 3:9-10 NLT says "Don't lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old evil nature and all its wicked deeds. In its place you have clothed yourselves with a brand-new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ, who created this new nature within you." As imperfect as we are, we are made perfect because of the love of Jesus Christ dwelling within us. This brand new nature within you will attract your husband if you'll have faith that the Lord is guiding you and helping you to get prepared.

But let's be clear, you can't expect to obtain something new without letting go some of your old ways. It’s time to get busy proving that you are capable of taking care of not only yourself, but another one of God’s treasures too. God has a supreme order to everything that He does; He says so in His Word, so there must be an order for you to get married as well. That order dictates that you prioritize His love first.

Ephesians 3:16-17 (NKJV) says "that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith."  This is the place that God is leading you to, the place where your inner-woman is strengthened with might through His Spirit. Only when you are strong in God's love can Christ dwell in your heart through faith.

The Father isn't keeping your husband from you, quite the contrary. He's preparing you in such a way that you don't forget the love—that love is the weapon you reach for when things get tough. Growing in love is really what this season in your life is all about, and one day, as you're sitting together on the couch with your honey, hand in hand, you'll remember these days of singleness and think "Father, the preparation was so worth the wait."  

"Don't Forget the Love" written by Kim Ayala, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

3/21/2011

What Kind of Wife?

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I once heard a man say that he could look at a woman and tell whether she was single or not. He said he could do this without ever looking at her hand to see if she was wearing a ring. It wasn't the first time I had heard a man be so bold as to make a statement like this, but it was the first time that I had paused to give it any consideration. In the instance I heard it I wanted to say something clever, something that would send him away with a significant bent in his so-called analytical prowess, but I found that I couldn't. The statement left me at a loss for words, and I wondered why it made me feel so uncomfortable.

As a single woman at the time, I thought to myself, "If there's something I'm exuding that screams my 'single status', I want to make sure it screams, 'I'm not single for long' as well." In order to do this I had to ask some hard questions of myself, be willing to deal with the answers, and then change my attitude accordingly. It wasn't easy, and it took a while because I was a little stubborn, but I came to find out that my faith to meet my future husband would not yield results until I became flexible. I had to be willing to change according to God's will.

Thinking about the man's statement a bit more, I had to admit the fact that some of us get so used to being single that we become inflexible and unapproachable. We broadcast an attitude that tells a man that there's "NO ROOM" in our hearts.

No matter how bad we think we want to be married, deep down we really only want a man who will make us comfortable in our old ways. If he requires what we consider to be too much work, then we don't want to be bothered. I'm convinced that some men really do have a radar that kinda sniffs that stuff out. They know when a woman either doesn't have the capacity or the willingness to step outside herself to accommodate the care of another.

It's non-sense to think for one moment that you'll find someone who doesn't require you to step outside your comfort zone, because doing so is one of the chief reasons why God set up marriage in the first place. Don't you think that after Eve persuaded Adam to sin that he wondered why in the world the Father put them together. I'm sure that's what Adam thought. The first words out of his mouth when God found out about his sin was "this woman you gave me...she did it! She caused me to mess up!"

Things in Adam's and Eve's marriage got sticky real quick, so I think it's a safe bet that keeping you in your comfort zone isn't God's main concern. The Father wants you to learn to be flexible, so that you are able to paint your portrait as someone's wife into the image of Christ.

You may be tired of being single, but make no mistake about it, being a wife is a huge responsibility; not every woman is ready for it. Proverbs 31:10-12(NLT) says "10, Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. 11, Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.12, She will not hinder him but help him all her life." When you read this passage in Proverbs, you have to ask yourself "Are you really ready? What kind of wife would you be?"  How will you handle the responsibility of helping to nurture someone's spiritual weaknesses when you still have some of your own? How will you love him when the romance isn't quite what it used to be? Will you be the kind of wife that has her husband’s back under any and all circumstances? Will you do everything in your power to love and take care of him? Will you be faithful to the marriage a lifetime?

Sistas, we really have to think about these questions seriously, because let's face it, we've become a "ME" society. But that isn't the way of Christ. Yes, the Lord wants us to take real good care of ourselves, but he wants us to be genuinely caring and supportive help mates to our husbands. This is more than just an occupation; it's a calling—a duty and obligation to God through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. You can't think of your needs first. This is a hard pill to swallow for a lot of single sistas, but it's the truth.

You see, if you take care of God's business He'll take care of yours. Faith requires you to believe this truth so deeply and wholeheartedly that you don't flinch on it one second. God will entrust a loving and dutiful husband to those women who are willing to be loving and dutiful themselves.

The Father is particular when it comes to partnering up His daughter. He doesn't want you to hitch up with someone who isn't good for you. He wants you to have a good man, and your actions today must demonstrate that you are able and willing to love as the Father desires.

The passage in Proverbs speaks of a very special kind of woman, but it also asks a very important question, "Who can find her?" Can she be found in you? Despite difficulties and differences, even after arguments and the silent treatment between the two of you, can you always come back to the love? Being responsible for someone else’s heart demands that you do. So remember, not every man is capable of being a husband, but those of them that are may be quietly sizing you up and asking themselves "What kind of wife would she be?"● 

3/07/2011
 

Thank You Lord
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I think sometimes we become so busy with life that we forget just how good God has been to us. We forget that it is by His grace and love that we’re able to get up every morning with the activity of our limbs and the soundness of our minds. Whatever it is that we have to do on a daily basis, we should make it a practice to start out the beginning of the day with "Thank You Lord”. These are three words that will let our Heavenly Father know just how much we understand that it is because of Him that we live, breathe, and have our being.

You know, for many of us it is only when we face our own personal adversities in life that we really begin to pay attention to our relationship with God. It is sometimes only when we want something so badly and don't get it right away that we will notice how much we've neglected that one-on-one intimacy with Him. We don't apply spiritual pressure until we're in the heat of battle. Then, and only then for many of us, do we use prayer and lots of it. This is the strategy for a whole bunch of us, but it isn't a strategy that will maintain the quality relationship the Father desires from us.

When we try to apply spiritual pressure in a situation by praying repeatedly for an outcome, sometimes something unexpected happens; instead of joy, peace, and fellowship, we begin to view words like strife, pain, and begging as a necessary part of the prayer process. We begin to pray with stress and doubt instead of thanksgiving and faith.

Philippians 4:6 (NKJV) says "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." 

To pray rightly is to surrender doubt, insecurity, and all the other remnants that come with these heavies. All remnants of fear have to take a back seat to love, liberty, and light, because God demands that we release the anxiety and put thanksgiving in its place.

Being thankful sends the signal to God that you understand who's who in the relationship. You alone can do nothing, but you can do all things through Christ. Philippians explains that before you make a request to the Father you must first and foremost do it in the order that He has ordained. We must pray with the proper mind-and-heart-set, which is to empty our minds and hearts of worry, doubt, and anxiety. This is how we must approach His throne.

Humility before Him is a requirement. To be humbled is to recognize that God is the One who tells us how to pray effectively. We ought not to think that we can see results by going to Him any ol' way we please. God says, first dispense with the worry, secondly be specific about your request, and third wrap your prayer request in thankfulness. Not only are you to be thankful for the opportunity to come before the Father, but you are to be thankful that He hears your prayer and He will move on your behalf.

Ask yourself a simple question, "Can you be worried and thankful at the same time?" No, you cannot. Genuine thankfulness is carved out of faith. To be thankful is to acknowledge the truth that God is in control. It's saying "No matter what this looks like, I thank you Father because I know that You are working it out!"

Colossians 2:7 NLT
Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all he has done.

God is faithful. We can take refuge in this just like Colossians says. So no matter how things appear to be, don't give up on your desire to find a compatible mate. Don't give in to the negativity you see all around you. Keep your head up and walk with confidence. Know that you are worthy of a good and loving husband, and that God will bless you with one. Be thankful today. Shift your mindset into heaven's gear and let your life overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done for you in the past, and for what He is going to do for you in the future. ● 

2/28/2011

God Is In Control
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Recently, I heard about a Christian woman that had a longing desire to get married. She did what she considered to be all the right things like regularly attending bible study and Sunday services.  She made a ritual of fervently praying and fasting for a Godly mate and was committed to doing things in a Godly way. She made a pact that when she dated a man, she would verbally declare her commitment to celibacy before beginning a relationship with him. Year after year went by and no husband, not even a dating prospect came her way. This reality began to take its toll on this Christian Sister, and slowly she started to doubt if God would bless her with the desires of her heart. 

            She began to confess, “I’m tired of waiting, I have needs and the next guy I meet I’m going to do what makes ME feel good”.  How many of us can relate to feeling this way while we wait to be someone's wife. Let's keep it real, celibacy is no joke, but you see you can't keep your mind focused on the fact that you're abstaining from sex; that just makes you want it more. So don't do that. Instead keep your mind focused on the reward. You oughta’ know that if you're faithful to the ways of Christ, he'll make sure that you receive a prize worth the wait.

            Well, our Sista-girl wouldn't hear it. She got tired of waiting. So as it was, when she did in fact meet someone, they began to date and sure enough she threw her commitment to the wind and found herself giving in to her fleshly desires. Not only did she give up on her faith, she gave up on her relationship with God. She bought into what so many of us fall for, and that's the lie that "God’s way takes too long and my way will give me what I need and want." This is dangerous...got to be mo' careful!

            It's never a winning strategy to give up on our faith. You and I have no right to do this. We belong to the Father and He is always and forever in control. And let me state for the record, He never disappoints. Your gift-of-a-man will definitely be worth the wait, but sometimes the wait tricks us into doing exactly what this Christian woman did. Like her, some of us don’t take God at His Word, and we forget that we need to let the Lord be our guide.
           
            In Psalms 46:10, the bible tells us to be still and know that He is God. You see, the Father knows that we will become impatient, and He also knows the heartaches we bring upon ourselves because of that impatience. He knows that our flesh becomes weak, and when this happens we are vulnerable to temptation, especially if we've been waiting a while. But even though God knows our vulnerability, He also knows the strength He has given us through Christ. He has entrusted us with the best of the best, and He expects us to be calm—be still, and rise above our weakness through patience and faith. He expects us to learn to triumph through Christ!

            Understand that if you don't have the strength to hold out for Jesus, you certainly don't have the strength to hold out for a marriage. Abstinence builds your spiritual resolve. It keeps your connection to God through Christ strong. It clears the channel so that you can hear directives like "He's not the one! Leave that one alone! This one belongs to someone else already!"

            The woman mentioned in this article lost hope and tried to scoot over in the driver's seat. She took her eyes off of who’s really in control. Anytime we do this we are headed for a collision. In this day and age, you can’t afford to play Russian roulette with your body. It’s too high a price to pay, because the moment you put one foot in the enemy's territory he pounces on your life and tries to tear it to pieces.

            Understand that if you're emotionally drained and feeling defeated and mistreated in your current relationship, sexing before marriage is probably why. Again, you cannot win with this strategy. It simply doesn't work. Nothing will work out until you do things God's way. All you have to do is trust the Lord and take Him at His word. He will never fail you. 

            Don't panic when the wait seems a bit much or when things get crazy in your life, it's because your blessing is on its way. Things are shaking and moving to make room for another person. All kinds of toads will jump out of the woodwork when this happens. And if you fall for the tricks of one of those toads you'll delay the blessing of your prince. So stay faithful and focused, blessed Sistas. Stay committed to our awesome Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Go to him with your lonely heart and let him fill your cup.

            God hasn’t forgotten about you, He cares about every detail of your life. Sometimes we forget just how much He loves us. He loves us so much that He wants the absolute best for us—more than we could ever want it for ourselves. The more we accept and trust in God’s love, the less we will need to be in control.

            Deuteronomy 5:32 (NIV) says “So be careful to do what the Lord your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left.” There may be times when you want to be the one behind the wheel doing all the driving, but if you want your life to go in the right direction, let God steer you and do what He says. Don't be tricked, stand ready and poised for His work. Keep your focus on Him and have confidence that when it comes to your future husband, or any other thing for that matter, God is in control.● 

2/21/2011

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Think before You Speak

Proverbs 18:20(NKJV) says "A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled. 21; Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit."  This verse lets us know undeniably that our mouths are powerful instruments that will either bring us the blessings of life or the curses of death and destruction. Plainly said, people can do a great deal of good, or a great deal of harm, both to others and to themselves, by what they allow to roll from their lips.

From this verse in Proverbs 18, we know concretely that words are powerful. Words are important to God, and if they are important to Him they ought to be extremely important to the Christian, but from some of the conversations that you and I have no doubt overheard, some of us Christian folk didn't understand the message. It truly is amazing to listen to people sometimes, to hear the venomous remarks that they make towards and about others. You have to wonder if some folk have ever read Proverbs 18:20.

The words that we speak inform others who we are. They bring to the outside what we are on the inside. The confessions we make will either back our faith or prove our fear. So as the mental health experts would say, we need to listen to our inner dialogue. We need to think before we speak, because our mouths can get us into serious trouble.

What kind of trouble? Proverbs 18:21 give us the worst case scenario which is death. You don't get more trouble than that. This verse isn't only referring to physical death, but it also refers to the destruction and darkness that is heaped upon our relationships, finances, and other circumstances as result of the words we use.

A lot of us will make negative confessions out of habit. We'll say things like "I just can't catch a break...",  "I don't think I'll ever get married...", or "There are no good men out there anymore." Statements like these shape and mold our reality because they convey our doubt of God's Word. You cannot expect to take an untamed tongue into your marriage. You have to understand the impact of your words and begin to change the way you speak NOW, before you partner. You must make the connection between your mind, heart, and mouth; and then be sure that all of these are in alignment with the goodness of God.

James 3:5 (NLT)
So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.

This verse lets us see just how much damage we can do with our tongues, but we have to understand that it isn't simply the words, it's the thoughts and intents that back them. We speak evil and doubt because evil and doubt are in our hearts, and that's a dangerous path. To think before you speak is to go into those places of darkness within your own being and let God's Word shine a light on them. To think before you speak is to discipline yourself to quickly consider how the Word fits in the situation, then make a decision to choose love's way instead of the way of the world.

You must be careful of what and how you say things because unkind words can cut deeper than any weapon; they can destroy a marriage or any other relationship as well.

This warning in James 3:5 is especially poignant for women, because if we'll be honest we'd have to admit that women, often times more than men, will make a science of gossiping. As Christians, our mouths should be used to uplift and inspire, but there are times when an untamed tongue will win. We use our tongues as weapons against others when we gossip and talk freely about their business. This leads us to throw our opinions and judgment of others around haphazardly, but there is a steep price to pay for this. Look at Romans 1:1-5 (The Message):

 1-2 Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done.

 3-4You didn't think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because he's such a nice God, he'd let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he's not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change. 5You're not getting by with anything. Every refusal and avoidance of God adds fuel to the fire.

You and I have no other choice, for God has made it very plain, we must take full responsibility for what we say, how we say it, and when we say it. We have to take a very honest look at our lives and understand that the life we have at this very moment is a monument to the words we've believed and spoken.

Make positive confessions about your life and your intentions. Through Jesus Christ, God has provided access to every good thing. He is willing and able at all times to help us carve out the life we desire.

Stop doubting and start doing. Keep your mind and attention focused on your purpose and your dreams. Find ways to speak life into those things. Speak life into the people around you and don't curse yourself or others through profanity. Be sure to allow words of encouragement to flow from your lips rather than venomous words that leave people feeling devalued or crippled. Remember,  if you’re not thinking Godly thoughts—not putting the Word on in your mind, then you are opening the door for the enemy to come in. This can be totally avoided. Simply think before you speak.

Understand what you've been given. God has told you that you can either speak life or speak death. Through your confession and speech you can either birth something really fantastic or something really horrendous. I vote for fantastic, don't you?● 

"Think before You Speak?" written by Kim Ayala, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

2/14/2011

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God Doesn’t Make Mistakes,
So Are You Still Single for A Reason?

Listen, when we say you have to be prepared to receive a blessing on the magnitude of marriage, you better trust....you have to be prepared—ready on every level imaginable. Many of ya'll take that for granted—thinking that you're already prepared. You think you've mastered the grunt work of spirituality sufficiently and that there's little else for you to do to get ready to partner. Well guess what, God doesn't make mistakes. He knows your desire. He knows every detail about you, from the smallest to the greatest, so there isn't anything you can say in your prayers that He doesn't already know. There's nothing on your "My Soul Mate's Must-Have List" that the Father hasn't seen. If you were ready, a walk down the aisle would be behind you, not in front of you.

Do you not know that when you're mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually ready to partner your soul-mate will step to you with all cylinders blazing? Don't you know that when you create a space in your heart and mind large enough to lovingly encompass and implement the care of another, your future mate will flock to you like a moth to a flame? When you're ready he'll come, on this you can depend.

Sistas, it takes gut-wrenching, soul-searching, heart-fixing honesty to get right  down to the root of what's keeping your soul-mate at bay. And if he's not in your life at this point and time, the reason is because you're still running from the truth. You're still not accepting responsibility for your actions. You're thinking somewhere in the back of your mind that God is keeping your blessing from you, when in fact the veil of denial is keeping all your good-attraction energy trapped behind it.

We humans have a tendency to try and bring God down to our level. Sometimes we withhold our goodness even from those we love the most, so we think that God will act as we do, but He does not. Psalms 84:11 (NKJV) says "For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold From those who walk uprightly." It's only an un-renewed mind that would think a loving Father would withhold goodness from those He loves.

Never forget, we are accountable for everything we do and everything within us that doesn’t line up with God’s Word. Shifting the blame on Him only delays the process of growth and abundance. You have to be honest and bold enough to ask yourself the hard questions:

Ø  Do you have a fear of being lonely?

Ø  Do you really think it's okay to sex it up outside of marriage?

Ø  Have you practiced abstinence?

Ø  Have you used your time of abstinence to grow closer to God?

Ø  Are you willing to demonstrate the love of Christ in a way that nurtures someone who's not quite spiritually there yet?

Ø  Can you stay cool and calm when you don't agree with decisions that impact your own hard earn money?

Ø  Can you deal with his residual baggage from previous hurtful relationships?

Ø  Do you truly have what it takes to remain positive and level-headed when the devil uses him to attack you? If you don't think this will happen, you better ask somebody.

The answers to these questions don't even scratch the surface of the spiritual strength that you'll need to handle a marital relationship. God is going to bless your future husband through you, and only God knows when you are ready to handle the heft of the work that He is equipping you to do.

So are you still single for a reason? Absolutely! God has something so spectacular waiting for you. It's gonna knock your socks off—believe that! It's going to be wonderful, but you've got to go higher in your spiritual resolve. Your preparedness to partner walks hand and hand with your desire to grow stronger in the Lord. You must demonstrate that no matter what you face in your marriage, you will put God first—you will express the love of Christ to such a degree that through any obstacle, both you and your future husband will become more united as a couple. This is God's standard, and every day you must look at yourself in the mirror and be committed to ask Heavenly Father "Lord, how can I spiritually grow today as a wife and friend to my future husband?"  

Understand that as God reveals to you the "how" and "what" of getting prepared to partner, it isn't going to always be easy. As a matter of fact, sometimes it will be doggone hard, but look to Jesus continually and let him guide you. He knows where you need to be, and you can have every confidence that with him at the helm, you'll definitely take that trip down the aisle.● 
 

"God Doesn’t Make Mistakes, So Are You Still Single for A Reason?" written by Kim Ayala and Reverend Fran Times-Mack, edited by Penny Brown for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2011.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

November 22,2010

Do Something with the Love

First of all, let me first say that if you’re a single Christian woman desiring a Godly mate, I would encourage you to sign up and take the “How to Attract Your Soul Mate E-Class”.  Not only does it provide up-close and personal guidelines on what a single woman should do to prepare for her husband, but it carves out what’s necessary to get rid of the internal clutter that keeps the Christian woman from attracting her mate.  Before I took the class, I felt deep down that I had done all I needed to do to prepare for marriage. I took great pride in spending quality time with myself and the Lord. I prayed often, and I knew exactly the type of man that I desired; right down to the minutest details. I had done all this "me" work, but what I couldn’t figure out or understand the answer to the very poignant question, "Why was I still single?"

I found myself asking this particular question every day, because in my opinion, I had done everything right. But as I began to take the E-class some months ago, I also slowly started to digest hard-to-swallow truths that profoundly impacted my heart, mind, and soul. For instance, I was a beggar—begging God repeatedly for a compatible soul mate while waiting year after year for what seemed to be an unanswered request. When I learned the ways in which we, as sisters in the lord, can sabotage our own efforts to achieve and receive, it instantly resonated with me. I was so thirsty for this information because the reality of still waiting just didn’t make sense to me anymore. Taking the e-class helped me to realize that as a loving Father, God would never keep my blessing captive. So if it wasn't God, then I had to face the fact that I was the problem. 

Through HTAYSM, I came to understand that yes, God hears our prayers, but He values our spiritual growth in Christ Jesus above all else, even our desire to partner. No matter who you are or what your religion is, before you can acquire an opportunity to be blessed, you must demonstrate your readiness to handle that blessing. I tell you, this one was a hard one for me to tackle, but I knew that in order for me to get to where I truly longed to be, I had to remove the veil of immaturity from my eyes and be willing to do the work still required of me. 

Like me, you might ask the question, “Father, I don't want to attract men like some of the ones I've attracted in the past. I want to attract my husband! What do I need to do to attract him into my life?”  I had ask myself this question so many times that it’s hard to remember when I didn’t ask it. When you ask a question like this, be prepared to do your due diligence—be prepared to seek the answer like never before. Matthew 7:7 (KJV) says "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:"  And you know what—this e-class will help to bring you closer to the answer than you perhaps have ever been before.   

As a spiritually mature woman you must have the courage to spend the time and examine what is at the core of your soul.  We spend so much time doing other things that we forget about what will be required to pull a good man.  And trust me, the process will cause you to become weary and you may even want to give up sometimes, but hang in there because you can learn to do something outstanding with the love you have.

The love that resides on the inside of you is meant to be shared with someone, don’t ever doubt that.  You must remember that the power inside of you is love; God is love.  In the SMS e-class – How to Attract Your Soul Mate, Lesson 5 Step 2, it talks about this very thing. It says that when we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us through Christ; within that love there is no room for fear. It says that in order to attract love, you have to first make sure it’s operating at the fullest capacity within you.

Taking this e-class opened my eyes to these truths and helped me to attract my soul mate, the man of my dreams. I would encourage single Christian women to be open to the will of God and remove all of your preconceived notions of what you think you need. Learn how to get unblocked so that you allow the indwelling Holy Spirit to lead and guide you, and help you attract from the most earnest place in your soul. I say this because God’s love will produce the type of results you need. Otherwise, there are no guarantees, but God's love guarantees the very best results. When you choose His way of doing things He guarantees that love will find you no matter where you are. 

I was told that when I meet my husband things would happen very quickly, and amazingly enough this was so true. Heavenly Father put such a tremendous man of God in my path that I quickly understood why it took so much time and effort to attract the goodness of what the Father had in store for me.  Love attracts love, and we will undoubtedly attract exactly who we are inside and out. 

Isaiah 57:10 NIV; You were wearied by all your ways, but you would not say, 'It is hopeless.' You found renewal of your strength, and so you did not faint.

Sometimes we begin to waver in our hearts and minds, losing hope that there’s an actual living-breathing, God-fearing man that’s truly looking for us too.  But rest assured, that person is out there, living and breathing, and praying to meet a woman just like you. Be renewed in strength and get prepared! Be ready to do something with the love once it finds you.  When you’re prepared and ready to receive your blessing of a soul mate, everything in the universe will line up in such a way that you almost have to hold on to something to brace yourself. So I pray that you'll allow the Lord to help you get prepared to partner through this e-class, because it surely helped me.

November 15,2010

There Is No Greater Love

John 15:16-17 NLT16 You didn’t choose me.  I chose you.  I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.

17: This is my command:  Love each other.

There is no greater joy or love than to have someone choose to love you.  The feeling can be intoxicating, mesmerizing, and overwhelming all at the same time.  Even the romantic love between a man and a woman can be a knockout punch, but I'm not talking about that.  I'm talking about the extraordinary reality of falling in love with Jesus Christ. He loved us first, and you have to ask yourself "What is it about me that is so special that He would choose ME!"  Because you see, He didn't choose you to do any ol' ordinary thing, but to produce lasting fruit so that whatever you desire, you can have it...by living and giving in his wonderful name.  How awesome is that! I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel pretty spectacular to think that I was appointed by someone as magnificent as Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  If you’ve never given it much thought, now is the time. 

Imagine if a world renowned public official or popular celebrity called you up one day and asked you to do something that no one but you could do.  Now, this person could’ve chosen anyone in the entire world, but you were the only one that could get the job done; wouldn’t you feel pretty special?  Well, our Lord and Savior is hands down the most influential and charismatic phenomenon ever to walk the face of this earth.  After all, he healed the sick, raised the dead, and died for our sins.  All he asks is that we spread the word to those who don’t know it.  He wants us to tell others about his love, to be his example, and to help save souls that are lost.

Jesus Christ did the ultimate when it comes to love, because he gave his life for us.  John 15:13 (KJV) says "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."  There is no greater love than that.  Those who don't know him intimately might ask, "how can you fall in love with someone you’ve never even seen, touched, or heard before?"  They might find it hard to believe, but the great truth is that once you let his love come into your heart, you want others to experience it.  His love is contagious that way. It's so much easier to love someone once you have confidence that the Lord loves you. 

The beautiful truth is that the love of Jesus Christ is ours to embrace.  He wants to love us every second, minute, and hour of the day.  He knows that only his Love can rescue us.  There are lots of songs and tons of self-help books on the shelves that claim to teach you how to love yourself.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with a little self help wherever you can get it or hear it, but understand this, if you can't love the one who saved you, then you probably will not love yourself all that great either.

Those of us who are single sometimes have the toughest time opening ourselves up to the possibility of love, because there’s a part of you that knows that "vulnerability" is a layer you must unveil in order to let love in.  Sometimes it’s a risk you might have to take a few times before you get it right, but it’s a risk worth taking.  You know why? The Paragon of Love will be on the inside of you, that’s why.  Trusting in his love is like walking up to the starting line of a race, once you’ve entered there’s no turning back.  You run through valleys, high peeked mountain tops and the lowest trenches you could ever imagine just to trust that Jesus Christ won’t fail you.  Honestly, there’s no greater accomplishment than to have faith in something and realize through it all, having the greatest love of all always wins! 

Pray this prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank you for the greatest gift of Your Son, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  If it wasn’t for His choice to give His life for us, I would never know how to love.  Oh Gracious Father, show me how to be more unselfish, forgiving, and thoughtful in my everyday life.  Allow the Holy Spirit to move on the inside of me whenever I am not being who you have called me to be.  Again, I thank you for loving me so much, and for saving me through your only begotten son, Jesus Christ. Teach me how to be a worthy example of what love is, so that others who don’t know him will see him through me.  In the powerful name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.

Peace and Blessings,
Kim

November 1,2010

Deal with the Truth about "YOU"

We’ve all heard the saying’ To thine own self be true’; but how many of us really heed or understand that statement. It's not in the bible. It's a Shakespearian quote, but on its own—it speaks volumes. If you can’t acknowledge the truth about yourself, will you lie to someone else? Will you bend the truth about other important details? If you can't come clean about what's going on within the sanctum of your own heart and mind, then you're in no position to help anyone else deal with themselves either. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 7:3-5 (NLT): 3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

Accepting your truth may require asking yourself some tough questions, and then having the strength and courage to seek out the answers. Often times, this search for the log in your eye will lead to ridding yourself of some baggage—baggage that is weighing you down and keeping your blessings at bay. There may be times when the work of finding out who you really are at the core  is overwhelming, but if your aim is to glean as much spiritual growth and blessings from God as you possibly can, you’ve got to be ready to deal with the truth about "YOU"!

John 4:23 (The Message)
It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship.

God is simply God! He's Himself 100% of the time. He wants you to be simply and honestly yourself before Him as well. He knows the real you and He wants you to know the real you too. That can only happen by your willingness to dig deep beneath all the layers of doubt and fear, and come clean about a few things that are stirring up trouble in your mind, heart, and soul.

Sometimes we are so quick to judge others—so quick to gossip and comment about their shortcomings. We must judge ourselves and judge our own actions instead. As a matter of fact, many times we waste time judging others to avoid dealing with the truth of our own attitudes and behaviors. We turn a blind eye to the soul work that we need to do, because quite frankly, it can be painful.

It's painful to face the truth, that's why it's called growing pains. Part of growing up in the Lord is facing the fact that we get jealous when we know we shouldn't, or that we want to marry a man with lots of money because we lack self esteem and need money to feel superior or valuable. Things like this are typically considered to be character flaws. All of us have them, but many of us continue to operate at an infant's level of faith because we refuse to grow beyond them.

God's will is that we deal with the pettiness, because it keeps us from enjoying the realness and genuineness of fellowship with Him. He wants the real you, the you that is beneath the fears and phobias, the you that is beneath the pretense, hurt, and disappointment from past hurts. That's why it's so important to really check out what's behind your feelings of insecurity—to investigate feelings of sadness and loneliness, because often we are harboring stuff in our souls that we need to deal with.

We don't have to do this alone. Jesus Christ will help us. Through our indwelling spirit, John 16:13 declares that our savior will guide us into all truth. He'll help us get to the root of what's causing us to run in the opposite direction of the truth.   

Proverbs 15:14 NLT
A wise person is hungry for truth, while the fool feeds on trash.

Do you ever feel as though something within is nudging you to take action, but you don't know what to do. Often that nudging sensation is truth knocking at the door of your consciousness, trying to get your attention. Truth is telling you to wake up because you've been in a slumber far too long. Truth is telling you that God has heard your prayer. He wants to lead and guide you to the answer, but you may have some stuff clogging up the channel and you can't hear the directives. Truth is telling you to do the work. Get rid of the baggage so that you can hear and see what the Father wants you to hear and see, and then follow the light of Christ.

When it comes to partnering, you attract to you- who you are. Because of this, it behooves you to spend some time working on self so that you can attract someone who equals the real you, the Christ you, and not the you who refuses to acknowledge the truth. A woman said to me one day that she didn't believe that you attract who you are. She didn't believe it because the men in her life had always been unscrupulous. “I get upset whenever someone says this because it makes it seem as if there’s something wrong with me”.  

This was her missed opportunity. Rather than taking the time to investigate the possibility that something within her was not radiating out the love of Christ, she turned a blind eye and refused to see past the log in her own eye. Don't let this be you. You needn't be afraid to deal with yourself honestly. It's uncomfortable at times, yes. Pulling back the layers can be kinda scary, but you must remember that you're a child of the King. You can get out your shovel of truth with confidence, and begin digging until you get to the core. When you do, you'll find the mirror image of Christ staring back at you!●

"Deal with the Truth About "YOU" written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2010.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!  Sundie Morning Sistas is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

What's the Real Reward? It's the Two of You!

"Let’s build something together!" This is the mindset of a Christian ready to go full speed ahead in a marital partnership. You have to be more than ready to receive one of the greatest, most special blessings of life. You've got to be fully prepared to share just about everything you own with another individual. A whole lot of us feel that we're ready to partner, but in actuality we haven't explored all the angles of preparation, especially in this area of sharing. This is of particular significance when it comes to us as Christian women. Many of us have excelled in the workplace. We know how to work that office thang' to the tee. And in some circles we've surpassed our male counterparts. So the question is, what do we do when we meet someone who is not our economic equal?

When two people come together these days, there's always the possibility that one of them will far exceed the other economically. Historically the man has brought home the bacon; he's been the bread winner or main source of income. Now, we see the opposite becoming more prevalent. How we deal with the potential of economic disparity in a new relationship really does convey our preparedness to partner in marriage.

Ultimately in a marriage the goal is to learn to share and love unconditionally. When a man who doesn't have much in the way materiality steps to you, what is your reaction? Are you kind and cordial but immediately dismiss him in every other way, or do you seek the Father to see if this is someone who is genuinely a quality individual?

The latter definitely gets my vote, but a lot of us have done our share of telling men to talk to the hand just because their pockets are not stacked with paper. None of us have anything to lose by being friendly, neither should we be afraid to explore the possibility of a new beginning with a man who hasn't acquired a lot in life.

Sometimes, we need to learn lessons of humility and grace. If we do, it isn't spiritually wise to expect to partner with someone who has fat pockets. That would only cement the negative qualities of arrogance and pride in our beings.

God's desire is that we unload anything that hinders the spirit of Christ from expanding within us. This doesn't mean that the potential mate will always be without. What it does mean is that the two of you will build success and financial wealth together. This way you will both be incredibly thankful to God. It also means that you both will have learned what the two of you can accomplish as a team.

So when you meet someone who doesn't appear to be on the same financial track as you, remember Matthew 6:38-42:

Matthew 6:38-42 NLT If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. 39 If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give it up for me, you will find it. 40 "Anyone who welcomes you is welcoming me, and anyone who welcomes me is welcoming the Father who sent me. 41 If you welcome a prophet as one who speaks for God, you will receive the same reward a prophet gets. And if you welcome good and godly people because of their godliness, you will be given a reward like theirs. 42 And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded."

Never get it twisted, your future husband is not, nor can he ever be your everything…only our Lord and Savior should hold that spot.  Partnering with someone means just that---it’s a partnership where the both of you share a commonality and responsibility to love each other  through better or worse. Never expect more out of a person than you’re willing to give, and be willing to give more than you receive. You will never be the worse for doing so.

Prepare yourself to partner by mentally visualizing what it would be like to share in each other’s accomplishments, communicate your thoughts and ideas, and explore new possibilities without demeaning his dreams and aspirations, or abandoning yours. Be prepared to make a lifetime of memories, filled with laughter, love and happiness. Will there will be tribulations to face, yep. Will you have financial difficultly? It's entirely possible, but know that the goal is to face them together, remembering always that the real reward is the two of you, holding each up and having each other's back; being thankful to God for the gift of one another.

"What's the Real Reward? It's the Two of You!" written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2010.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!  Sundie Morning Sistas is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

10/11/10

The Proof Is In God!

 You might have heard the saying, "The proof is in the pudding". Well, I've got a better one for you, how about, "The Proof is in God"?  One thing's for sure, you can put all your eggs in HIS basket and bank every dime to your name on Him, and He'll never fail you. As a Christian, this truism oughta' put a pep in your step and a smile on your little ol' face e-v-e-r-y day. I say that because, in the time in which we live, nothing outside of the Father is guaranteed. You can't count on situations, and you can't count on too many people. They tell you one thing one day, and then the next day it's a whole other deal. Hardly anyone sticks to their word any more. But, you have to love them anyway and keep in mind that it's not about them. It's about the Christ that works within us. So at the end of the day, you need to know that your back is covered by our Heavenly Father.

Jesus Christ said of himself in John 12:46 (NIV), "I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the darkness."  You need no further proof than this of your birthright. When you place your trust in Jesus, you are no longer in the dark. You don't have to cower away in the background, afraid of being authentic and true. You're not walking around with no purpose, nowhere to be, or nothing to do. You are in the light where the action is. God has brought you to a place of highest privilege and proved to you through His beloved Son that you are a child of light. So in essence, you've got a God-proven life, one where no dirty tricks are hiding in the backroom. Everything about your Christ reality is out in the open, in the light, where God continually holds your existence before His eyes.

As single sisters, we need to grab on to this verse in John 12:46 with both hands and never let it go. We need to let it sink way-y-y down in the belly of our knowing, because some of us say that we know this verse is true, but we don't act like it. You see, a whole bunch of us are still miserable and talking about the man that hurt us and left us. It's a sad thing for sure, there's no doubt about that, but you can't hang your hat there. You've got to release that emotional weight and move on.

A mark of a stellar individual is someone who improves the quality of life for others. They make a point to always leave people better off than they were before this quality person came on the scene. Whether it's visiting relatives or friends, exiting a relationship, or leaving a job for another employment opportunity, as Christians this should be our goal. Either by giving, being of service, or providing love and support, we should leave those we've encountered in a better place.

As far as a relationship is concerned, you ought to be chiefly interested in so leaving a mark of God's love on a brother, that even if he thought he could, he will never find a better—more unconditional love from another woman than yours. If all men did this....whewww...what a world... But let's face it, sometimes we have to teach them how to love, and for many of us this is a scary thought. I say that because the moment the man does something insensitive or non-chivalrous like expect us to pay half, some of us ladies get a little bent out of shape.

Listen, you must remember at all times that the proof isn't in the man or the relationship you have with him. The proof isn't in your circumstances. The proof is in the Christ that you live and breathe every single day. You can't look for someone to prove anything to you. It's God who has done the proving through Jesus Christ. Your responsibility is to be loving and accountable to our Heavenly Father for your actions. You are accountable to God for the quality of how YOU love; that's it!

You can't control what a man does, any more than you can make a man love you, so don't get caught up in that. Relationships will let you down, but God never will, so stop being afraid to love in a genuine Godly way. Understand that you can't put all your eggs in a man's basket. You can't gauge our own self-worth by how he demonstrates his love to you. You must have faith that as you venture forth to extend the love of God from the deepest part of your heart, God guarantees that He will back you. And if the man cannot reciprocate that love in a meaningful way...oh well...next...

Move on in the spirit of Christ, knowing that as sure and freely as you give God's love, it will most certainly come back to you.

Our Heavenly Father hasn't changed a bit. There are certainly blessings that we are patiently waiting to receive, but you have to remember that we, as Christians, have to make sure that we hold up our end of the bargain.  We must take God at His Word and know that what He's promised He is certainly able to fulfill. 

You see our Heavenly Father is not some type of brand that you have to test out to see if you can trust it or not. He's not a man that He should lie. All you need to do at any time is open up the bible and read the examples of how He's been faithful time and time again. That's the proof! It's all the proof you need. He changes not and He has provided victory after victory to His people with one requirement...you gotta trust Him!

Anything we ask in the name of Jesus Christ will get our Father's attention. He has not forgotten your souls desire. He's not abandoned the yearning you have in your heart, but you must embrace your life with confidence, and let go of all the insecurities and hang-ups about what happened in the past.

As you continue to strive to be the absolute best Child of God for His kingdom, understand that your love and devotion will be rewarded. You don't need to look for assurance in others, God has already proved everything you need to know. He will back your footsteps. He'll take care of your heart. So bask in the beauty of a God-proven life●

"The Proof Is In God!" written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2010.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!  Sundie Morning Sistas is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

9/27/10

When Will Your Drought Be Lifted?

Anytime you read or hear about a drought it usually means that something has gone without what it needs for too long; its unpleasant and uncomfortable to bare in any situation. For a whole lot of folks, this last year has felt like a drought on so many levels; economically, spiritually, even in relationships. It's a rough time, and it has many of us asking, "When will my drought be lifted?" To answer that question, we might best be served by going back a little in biblical history. We'll examine a time when God allowed droughts throughout the Old Testament as a result of the disobedience and sinfulness of His children. These droughts would occur in the lands that people relied heavily upon for sustenance and survival. 

Haggai 1:2-9 (The Message)

 ²A Message from God-of-the-Angel-Armies: "The people procrastinate. They say this isn't the right time to rebuild my Temple, the Temple of God."

 ^3-4Shortly after that, God said more and Haggai spoke it: "How is it that it's the 'right time' for you to live in your fine new homes while the Home, God's Temple, is in ruins?"  ^5-6And then a little later, God-of-the-Angel-Armies spoke out again:

"Take a good, hard look at your life.
   Think it over.
You have spent a lot of money,
   but you haven't much to show for it.
You keep filling your plates,
   but you never get filled up.
You keep drinking and drinking and drinking,
   but you're always thirsty.
You put on layer after layer of clothes,
   but you can't get warm.
And the people who work for you,
   what are they getting out of it?
Not much—
   a leaky, rusted-out bucket, that's what.

 ⁷That's why God-of-the-Angel-Armies said:

   "Take a good, hard look at your life.
   Think it over."

 ^8-9Then God said:

   "Here's what I want you to do:
   Climb into the hills and cut some timber.
Bring it down and rebuild the Temple.
   Do it just for me. Honor me.
You've had great ambitions for yourselves,
   but nothing has come of it.
The little you have brought to my Temple
   I've blown away—there was nothing to it.

 ^9-11"And why?" (This is a Message from God-of-the-Angel-Armies, remember.) "Because while you've run around, caught up with taking care of your own houses, my Home is in ruins. That's why. Because of your stinginess. And so I've given you a dry summer and a skimpy crop. I've matched your tight-fisted stinginess by decreeing a season of drought, drying up fields and hills, withering gardens and orchards, stunting vegetables and fruit. Nothing—not man or woman, not animal or crop—is going to thrive."

Much of what we pray for has everything to do with what we want for ourselves, and very little to do with what God desires for us. Quite simply put, we neglect the temple. Now in Old Testament times, this passage referred to a literal building as the temple, but for our learning and edification in today's time, we must comprehend that metaphorically, this passage addresses the condition of the body as God's temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT) says, "19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."

Our bodies, yours and mine, are God's temples. We pray and ask for things to make our lives more comfortable while our temple goes malnourished and deprived of the spiritual diet it needs. We have become entirely too focused on our own thing to notice or pay attention to the Kingdom business of God. Most of us don't want to admit it, but this is the reason for the drought. This is the reason why we cannot rally the faith to believe and trust God, because we are running off fumes and not the potent fuel of Christ.

Think about it for a minute…If a home is inhabitable for a period of time it begins to look abandoned. Grass goes uncut, weeds begin to grow, and the home starts to look deserted.  Well if you become too consumed with your own life and stop paying attention to your relationship with God, that is exactly what will happen. 

When we abandon God's House, our temple, we abandon Him.  We  start to see problems arise in our lives. What once was profitable and full of life and vigor will take on a desolate existence, slowly before your eyes.

“Take a good, hard look at your life. Think it over." 
Children of God, our Father is telling us to pay attention to what we're doing.

When we hit a dry spot and nothing seems to work out right for us, our Lord will remind us of His love and guide us to a well full of living water, but we have to want to be led. It is always our choice to choose His love first.

Jeremiah 17: 7-8 NIV: "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  8: He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

A tree needs constant water to keep its roots healthy, and we need to stay rooted and grounded in the Love of God to stay healthy and whole. God is our sufficiency in all things. There may be times when we become depressed and so full of despair and disbelief, but our Heavenly Father knows what we need before we do. He knows all and sees all, and He wants us to learn to put first things first. He wants us to feed and take care of our temple, so that we can in turn help lead someone else to the well of His infinite love and care.

I know many Christian women have prayed for a husband, and if you’ve yet to walk down the aisle or you haven't met your soul mate, at times you may feel that God has abandoned your heart's desire. I assure you He hasn't.  Realize that you must retain a strong connection to the source of your fuel. If you don't, you'll experience a drought in your emotions. You won't be able to get excited about your future. You won't be excited about meeting your future spouse, and you won't be able to maintain the motivation to stand strong, because you are not focusing on nourishing your spiritual life, but on what you want.

When will your drought be lifted? It already is. Jesus Christ is all you will ever need, and he is as near to you as your skin. No matter how long you’ve waited or how many times you’ve prayed, you must be convinced that your Heavenly Father wants the absolute best for you. He is not withholding your blessings, but you are too depleted to keep your eyes wide open; therefore, you are not in a position to see the opportunities that abound. Begin praying and asking for His guidance to grow stronger in the faith. Seek to be who He wants you to be, then you'll see the many wells of abundance and blessings all around you. 

Keep the faith, be strong, and live courageously and confidently, because no drought can keep you from manifesting outwardly what you believe inwardly. ▲  

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

"When Will Your Drought Be Lifted?" written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Single Woman's Prayer.Com ©2010.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! Single Woman's Prayer.Com is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging single Christian Women through the Word of God.

9/20/2010

Your 'Red Carpet' Moment!

Our Heavenly Father has given you access to more power than you can use in one lifetime. This power is the love of Christ and it operates on the inside of you. Through this power, you can be more, have more, and do more than you've ever imagined. You can live the life you've dreamed about, because God has empowered you through Jesus Christ to strive to reach your goals. You can strive for a successful marriage, a great employment opportunity, financial stability, and good health, but just as you feel empowered to strive for these wonderful things, you should also feel inspired and empowered to help another person to reach higher heights as well. Whether you’re single or married, you have an obligation to God to make a difference in the lives of others through His Word. 

Making a difference in the lives of others will enable you to have a 'Red Carpet' moment every day. What's a 'Red Carpet' moment? A 'Red Carpet' moment is when you are doing something so extraordinarily important to the Kingdom of God that the eyes of heaven are focused upon you. There's nothing in the earth that compares to this moment, and all it takes is the willingness to grab someone’s attention, wake them up, and keep them from making the same mistakes over and over again. This is what the love of God through Jesus Christ will do for a person, and you are the conduit to deliver it. Look at an example of this in 1Samuel 25:

 4-8 David, out in the backcountry, heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep and sent ten of his young men off with these instructions: "Go to Carmel and approach Nabal. Greet him in my name, 'Peace! Life and peace to you. Peace to your household, peace to everyone here! I heard that it's sheep-shearing time. Here's the point: When your shepherds were camped near us we didn't take advantage of them. They didn't lose a thing all the time they were with us in Carmel. Ask your young men—they'll tell you. What I'm asking is that you be generous with my men—share the feast! Give whatever your heart tells you to your servants and to me, David your son.'"

Nabal was a prosperous, cantankerous man who behaved foolishly in spite of his wealth. During this time in biblical history, men took honor very seriously. If a man was dishonorable he was thought to be undeserving of life. The favor that David asked was not out of the ordinary for the times, but Nabal took offense and became very angry. He replied in verses 10-11,"Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? The country is full of runaway servants these days. Do you think I'm going to take good bread and wine and meat freshly butchered for my sheepshearers and give it to men I've never laid eyes on?"

When David's men delivered this message from Nabal, David was livid. He commanded his men, ""Strap on your swords!" They all strapped on their swords, David and his men, and set out, four hundred of them." (verse 13)

David was impetuous and acted out of anger and vengeance. Nabal dishonored him and David was not about to stand for it. Meanwhile Nabal's wife, Abigail, who was very intelligent and beautiful, heard about this and immediately made plans to intercept David's attack.

1Samuel 25:18-19 (The Message) Abigail flew into action. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep dressed out and ready for cooking, a bushel of roasted grain, a hundred raisin cakes, and two hundred fig cakes, and she had it all loaded on some donkeys. Then she said to her young servants, "Go ahead and pave the way for me. I'm right behind you." But she said nothing to her husband Nabal.

Abigail is a sister after my own heart. Home-girl saved the day.

1Samuel 25:23-27 (The Message)  As soon as Abigail saw David, she got off her donkey and fell on her knees at his feet, her face to the ground in homage, saying, "My master, let me take the blame! Let me speak to you. Listen to what I have to say. Don't dwell on what that brute Nabal did. He acts out the meaning of his name: Nabal, Fool. Foolishness oozes from him.

"I wasn't there when the young men my master sent arrived. I didn't see them. And now, my master, as God lives and as you live, God has kept you from this avenging murder—and may your enemies, all who seek my master's harm, end up like Nabal! Now take this gift that I, your servant girl, have brought to my master, and give it to the young men who follow in the steps of my master.

Abigail spoke some sense into David. She knew he was behaving foolishly and impetuously, but didn't speak in a way that offended him. She pleaded with David "Don't do this thing, Master! When God completes all the good things that He has promised you David, and when He sets you up as the prince of Israel, you won't have the stain of vengeful murder on your heart. Then God can really bless you, and when the Father has worked it out for you, Master, please don't forget me and what I've done here today."

Do you know what David said? He said in verses 32-34  "Blessed be God, the God of Israel. He sent you to meet me! And blessed be your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and taking charge of looking out for me. A close call! As God lives, the God of Israel who kept me from hurting you, if you had not come as quickly as you did, stopping me in my tracks, by morning there would have been nothing left of Nabal but dead meat."

What!!!! Abigail was on point, was she not! Can you imagine what would have happened if Abigail had panicked and been too immobilized by fear to move decisively. We would have had a very different story here. But she didn't keep quiet, she moved by the spirit of God and rose to the occasion. This is what we are required to do as well. Every single time we take advantage of the many opportunities God gives us to witness the good news of salvation through Jesus Christ, we rise to our 'Red Carpet' moment!

People are in the dark, and the only way they can come out of that darkness is if someone shows them the way out. This is our job...yours and mine.

The spirit of truth that we have on the inside has such attracting power. You just never know who’s watching you or paying close attention to how you’re behaving—could be your future mate. You see, it’s not necessary to wave a flag signaling ”Hey look over here, I’m a Christian.” All that's necessary is that you live by the Word of God and reach out to people with the love and power of Jesus Christ.

I’m sure there’s at least one person that you know who needs to be delivered from something.  There’s someone right this very moment who needs your compassion and willingness to help them in the Word. If you can think of such a person, make it your assignment to speak life into them as much as possible. Not to the point that every time you see them you're preaching at them; that'll get them running from you like the plague. Just know that God will give you an opening. He'll give you this 'Red Carpet' moment, and you need to be ready for it.

1 John 3:18 (NIV)  Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.

My nephew said to me once that I remind him of a verb because I was always full of action. This should be said of every son and daughter of the King. When it comes to exuding love and devotion to our fellow Christian brothers and sisters, or to anyone for that matter, our actions should echo those same sentiments.

God is telling you to let your light of love shine; you are the star of the show, and you've got to share the spotlight with those who need it most.  So be committed to make a difference in the lives of others, and make the most of your 'Red Carpet' moments.

"Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group."

"Your 'Red Carpet' Moment" written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas.Org ©2010.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! Sundie Morning Sistas.Org is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

9/13/2010

Backed by the Love of
Jesus Christ

If real love doesn’t exist in you, how will you know when love is real? You have to ask yourself this question because we all have our own unique ideas about how love will feel when we meet Mr. Right. Some women aren't so concerned about physical attraction as they are about having someone who has their backs through thick and thin. A fat wallet may cause some women's hearts to go pitter patter, and for others good looks are a must. Whatever your prerequisites are for feeling loved and appreciated, the relationship you cultivate with Jesus Christ sets the stage.

God intended that we, as women, honor and respect the love of a quality man. For many of us it is a very necessary thing. This is not to say that a woman cannot live abundantly without it, but to receive love from a good man is a beautiful gift from God. But here's the thing, my beloved Sisters, sometimes we don't recognize quality. We go on with our "Must Have"  Lists, and think that God has a responsibility to tailor-make a man just for us. Even on a good day, getting placed through the rigors of being tailored to fit someone else's specifications is no fun.

When it comes to partnering, any list that you comprise must be subjected to the standard of God's Word first. Before you grab a pen and pad, your list of desired qualities in a mate must be backed by the love of Jesus Christ. What does that mean? It means that you understand two very important factors.

The first important factor to understand is that God prioritizes your spiritual growth above your comfort. Most of us single sistas want to partner with a man who allows us to be comfortable economically and in every other possible way as well, but the truth of the matter is that comfort does not easily translate to growth. God's desire is that we partner with someone who helps us to grow spiritually and to more aptly walk by faith. You may have to adjust your agenda to accommodate the fact that your future husband may not have deep pockets. As a matter of fact, he may not manage money well at all and be content to deliver his paycheck into your hands each week.

This may not sit well with you. If that is the case, you need to really press into the Father when it comes to this area. Ask the Lord to help you prepare to navigate through your assumptions and attitudes regarding finances, and allow Him to direct you.

The second important factor is that you do not know yourself as well as you think. Your understanding of yourself is limited. Your prerequisites for a mate are comprised of your assumptions about your future. You assume you will not change and that your circumstances will remain the same, but God knows everything. He knows exactly what you need and who will best suite the person you are growing and changing into everyday.

The bottom line is that the Father knows how to present us with someone who incorporates the qualities most befitting us. This doesn't mean that we have to throw away our lists, but they may need a little tweaking.

Ultimately, your marriage will be directly related to how well you’ve spiritually prepared and how well you continue to maintain your spiritual walk with Jesus Christ.

Single folks, you must have a real and enduring comprehension of the love of Christ to successfully partner these days, particularly when you consider the world we now live in. There will never be another time like now—time to take advantage of building a solid relationship with our Lord and Savior. So use this time wisely, because you can best believe that the areas where you've yet to grow and have shown the least amount of flexibility and faith, those will be the lessons your future husband is slated to help you learn. Are you ready?

"Backed by the Love of Jesus Christ" written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas.Org ©2010.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! Sundie Morning Sistas.Org is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

9/6/2010

You’re Both Worth the Wait!

When you make the decision to enter into a relationship, one of the most honest and important steps to take is to be very vocal about your stand on celibacy. Often times the other person may not be where you are spiritually. If you find yourself in this predicament, it’s not easy saying the words “Let’s Wait”, but if you’re a born-again single Christian involved in a relationship, this is certainly God's expectation for the both of you. In case you didn't know, I’m referring to making the decision to refrain from sex before marriage. 

Part of being a good witness is being honest about your intentions with the person you are dating. You shouldn't shy away from communicating your goals for a long lasting relationship that can potentially lead to marriage. If the man is one of integrity and has a good sense of who he is and what he wants, he will not hightail it and run from your honest approach, but appreciate it. If in fact he does begin to pull away simply on the basis of your honesty, then odds are that he certainly won't be willing to respect your stand on celibacy.

In relationships, often we'll throw caution to the wind and become enamored with having someone new in our lives. Feelings develop, passion intensifies, and hormones rage.  This is definitely the time to pump the breaks and make sure you remain obedient to what the Word says. As a Christian woman, you don't want to be a stumbling block for anyone, and you particularly don't want to cause someone you care deeply about to stumble. So wherever possible, refrain from being alone together in intimate settings until you’re comfortable that you both can handle the pressure.

Listen, it’s no coincidence that the divorce rate is high, and it’s no coincidence that the percentage of single women; particularly black women are staggering. The enemy is certainly happy to see it that way and will make every attempt to keep it that way. 

The enemy will try to keep you single by creating thoughts in your mind that you’re unlovable, and unworthy of sustaining a relationship. He will tell you that if you don’t give in to the desires of the flesh, no one will want to love you. This is a lie and you must not believe it.

1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV says "Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body." This is God's definitive Word on the subject: Don't do it!!! Abstaining from sexual sin will give your new relationship a running chance. It allows you the opportunity to show the love of Christ and it keeps the relationship flowing in a positive cycle rather than a negative one.

The Word speaks adamantly about this one,  run away from sexual sin! This ought to resonate loud and clear, just as if you’re driving down the highway and come across a bright yellow, blinking sign that reads “DANGER:  STEER CLEAR OF SEXUAL SIN!"

Constantly remind yourself of the purpose behind your abstinence. Be confident that the reward in the end is worth waiting for. That reward is to share together in love the intimacy that God created for the husband and wife…you’re both worth the wait.

You’re Both Worth the Wait!" written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas.Org ©2010.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! Sundie Morning Sistas.Org is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

8/30/2010

Introducing Your Kids to the New Man...Do You Know What It Takes?

The days of settling for less are behind us, and don't think that you have to settle just because you are a Christian single parent either. You can have a wonderful marriage, children, even the house with the white picket fence if you're so inclined. There's only two requirements: you've got to know what it takes to have those wonderful things, and you've also got to know how to maintain them and care for them in a Godly way.

Like anything else in life, you have to work hard at what you want because anything worth having hardly ever comes easy. However, bringing a new man into your life when you have children is a whole new ball of wax; it can get really sticky if you don't use the wisdom of God's Word. You can't wait until a relationship begins to prepare for this transition. It's much too delicate for that. You have to begin preparing yourself now, so that you can have solid footing as you begin to also help prepare your children's hearts and minds to accept a new person.

You want your children to love the man you choose as much as you do. This takes lots of prayer and wisdom. Why is this preparation so important? It's so important because God honors your children as much as He honors you. He is looking out for their well being too. Bringing the wrong person around your kids can sometimes have long lasting, harmful effects, but there is one thing for certain, as long as we keep our Heavenly Father at the forefront, nothing will be impossible. 

God has given us freewill. When it comes to marriage, you have the power to choose your own destiny, which means you can change your situation whenever you get ready; it’s completely up to you, but if your aim is to have a successful union for all involved, you must do things God's way, because His way is the right way—and it works!  

Yes, God has a standard for bringing your new man around your children and doing things Heavenly Father's way requires that you keep three important factors in mind:

#1)  Have quality, honest conversations about your goals to partner and expand your family unit. When the time is right, make the topic a part of your prayer time together, and also pray together about any fears your children are having about expanding the family. Spend time teaching them that God's love is meant to be shared, and that He would be very pleased if you were all able to share your love with a new special person.

#2)  Remember that you are the parent and ultimately you have the responsibility to believe in faith over your children until they can believe for themselves. They cannot or should not feel as though they are empowered to make life decisions for your family. They are ill-equipped to do so. However, God holds you responsible for ensuring that your children are secure in your decision making ability.

Ephesians 6:1(NLT) says "Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do." Be an example for your children, so that they know how to conduct themselves at all times. It would be pretty difficult to expect your little ones to respect and honor what you have to say, if your actions are less than honorable. 

Again, you are the parent. It isn't wise to ask your children's permission to date. This may breed insecurity in your parenting. Affirm your commitment to your family unit by continuing to state your unconditional love for them. Most importantly, demonstrate that you are patient and that you trust God's love and care. Teach them by example how to walk by faith.

#3) Make sure you hear from God before introducing a new man to your kids. This is critical because once you introduce children, you can potentially leave them vulnerable to becoming attached and expose them to the painful experience of separation.

Out of our eagerness to feel companionship and love, sometimes our focus becomes a bit distorted and we lose sight of our priorities. However, we can never forget the importance of our roles in our children’s lives when pursuing our own personal needs. Admittedly, we want what we want when we want it, but remember that there's a delicate balance between your personal needs and the welfare of your children.

As a mother, most of the time your kids want you all to themselves, but a father’s role is vital and can’t be overlooked or replaced. Ephesians 6:4 NLT says " And now a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord." Your desire to partner is natural. You should want to partner and God understands this desire. He knows that having a good man in the home is instrumental to the family unit, so be assured that God is looking out for both you and your children. Heavenly Father will not let you down. Continue to pray faithfully, and know that the spirit of Christ will lead, guide, and direct you to the person who is best for you and your children as well.

"Introducing Your Kids to the New Man...Do You Know What It Takes?" written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Times-Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas.Org ©2010.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! Sundie Morning Sistas.Org is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

August 15, 2010

I’ll Have What God Gave Me!

Throughout the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, we see the many promises that God provided. Countless times He instructed and specifically reminded His chosen people, the Israelites, to take ownership of what He had provided for them—what was already theirs.  However, on occasion the Israelites made the choice not to accept Him at His word and did things their own way. They chose to do what many of us do in this day and age...to take things into our own hands and create an existence that is much less than what God had intended.

When we do not listen or pay attention to what God is telling us, we become distracted with other things. We have a choice. We can put the things of God first and focus on His Kingdom, or we can focus on the details of our own problems or lack. The Father doesn't want us doing that. He doesn't want our minds occupied with our troubles or tribulations because He has already provided a way for us to come out of them. Colossians 3:2 tells us, "Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth."