1 John 4:18 (NLT)
“ Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”
Receiving the kind of love that you desire is more than just writing down a list of must haves for a husband. It’s about casting aside the fear of love so that we can be perfected in the love of Jesus Christ. For many of us, receiving the kind of love we want is one of the most important things in life—a desire we often try to control. And when things feel out of control, we push even harder to ensure success.
2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV) provides an important truth: “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” This isn’t just a nice reminder—it’s hefty. It’s a declaration of what’s already been given to us. When we lock our hope onto God and His perfect love, that love is on full display. It’s an ongoing reminder that fear has no place in our hearts.
Too often, we wait until a relationship has fallen apart to ask God for answers. By that point, a lot of damage has already been done. And let’s be real—no one likes to feel hurt, disappointed, or heartbroken. But once we open ourselves to another person, we open ourselves to all the ups and downs that come with love.
1 John 4:18 is about protecting ourselves, not with fear, but with God’s love. It speaks directly to the core of what we often try to avoid: the fear of what loving someone can do. Fear is what holds us back from allowing someone to get too close. But we need to recognize this and face it head-on with two fail-proof shields that will protect us from any mess and anchor us in truth.
The first shield is this: no person can be your everything. They’re simply not equipped to carry that kind of weight, and God never intended human beings to be that for each other. Expecting someone to be your everything is a setup for disappointment, because only God can be our everything, and He never disappoints.
The other shield is also another razor-sharp truth, and it’s this: partnering with someone God didn’t send is always and forever motivated out of fear. Fear drives that choice, and it will always miss the mark. Fear distorts our decisions, leading us down paths that God never intended for us.
We try to defend every wrong choice once we recognize the risk involved by allowing another individual power to provide us with what we think we need. But the real truth that’s hard for many women to understand is, no one person can handle that hefty a responsibility. And far too many folks have allowed relationships to encompass every answer to the questions of life. What am I to do with myself? What am I here to do? How do I make a difference? Relationships and the person you choose to be in your life, sometimes becomes the answer and God never meant it to be that way.
Fear, if allowed, will tear apart everything good in your heart. That’s why God gave us a blueprint for protection in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT): “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” The heart is the center of everything—your emotions, desires, decisions. If you’re not careful, it can become a breeding ground for hurt and disappointment. The more you’re hurt, the more you start building walls around your heart to avoid the pain. And these walls not only keep people out—they block God’s love from getting in.
We create this prison when we’re not fully surrendered to God’s light and love. It’s a prison that keeps you from living in the freedom He intended for you. Philippians 2:15 (NLT) reminds us: “Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.” This is how we should see ourselves—bright lights in a dark world.
That’s why it’s so crucial to live without fear—the fear of loneliness, not having our needs met, or feeling like we’re not enough to sustain the relationship God has for us. He’s the One who holds everything together. He’s the One who sends the person He ordains to walk with us through life. Fear simply has no place in our hearts. If we sense fear operating within us, keeping us from what we desire most, we must surrender it to God and allow Him to work within us.
In John 8:36 (NLT), Jesus said, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” Fear is the material used to build your walls, but God’s love will be the power tool to make it come crumbling down. Don’t let fear call the shots in your life. Cancel it out with the confidence of trusting God. You don’t ever need to be afraid of making decisions when you’re following His guidance. It’s devastating to let fear hold you back from stepping into the fullness of what He has for you. Understand that this is a decision you never have to make.
As you grow closer to God, His love deepens within you, becoming the anchor that keeps you in perfect peace. Guard your heart, surrender your fears, and allow God’s perfect love to transform you so that it is always on full display. It’s the only love that can truly set you free—the love that empowers you to love others with wholeness, wisdom, and the guidance of Christ. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
“Perfect Love on Full Display”, written by Kim Times, edited by Rev. Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.