Many people feel like staying celibate while dating is becoming harder and harder to hold onto — even for women in the church. Just the other day, I heard a sister say, “I have to test drive the car before I purchase it.” Come on now. It’s hard to believe that one is still in rotation. Folks were saying stuff like that back in my grandmother’s day. That doesn’t make it legit. The world keeps whispering that love and intimacy have to come first to know if it’s real. But the truth is, when we step outside of God’s design, we open the door to consequences that hurt far deeper than any moment of pleasure.
The Apostle Paul reminded the church in 1 Corinthians 5:12 (NLT), “It is not my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.” Sin isn’t just a personal slip-up, it has a price. Romans 6:23 (NLT) tells us plainly: “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” No matter who we are or where we come from, the consequences of sin don’t discriminate.
Maybe you’ve been thinking, “A little sin here and there can’t be that bad. God will forgive me.” I want to speak love to your heart, and in so doing, I have to also speak truth. God’s standard is clear: our actions matter. We can’t bargain our way into grace by treating sin like it’s no big deal. The mindset of unrighteousness shuts the door on the Kingdom of God.
The High Price of Compromise
Many women I’ve seen and loved have sacrificed their walk with God just to avoid loneliness or to hold onto a relationship that wasn’t ready to honor God. It breaks my heart every time. When we turn away from God’s best, we lose more than a moment—we lose time, stamina, and the sweet peace that comes from being in right standing with Him.
God is a loving Father. He never stops loving you or wanting to forgive. When you stumble, He’s waiting with open arms—ready to restore, not condemn. But restoration doesn’t erase the weight of what we gave away too soon. Some of us are still healing from connections we knew weren’t God’s Will—but we stayed, hoping it would turn into something holy. Others are quietly battling shame, wondering if they’re still worthy of real love. Let me remind you: you are. Your worth was never tied to what you did or didn’t do—it was sealed by the blood of Jesus.
Still, there’s a cost to compromise. Not because God is cruel, but because we were never built to carry the fallout of sin. Our souls were designed for alignment, not attachment to what breaks us. That’s why obedience isn’t about control—it’s about protection. God’s boundaries don’t box us in; they keep our hearts from breaking in places He never intended.
Remember 1 Corinthians 6:12 (NLT), “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’ — but not everything is good for you. And even though ‘I am allowed to do anything,’ I must not become a slave to anything.” Sexual sin isn’t just another mistake; it reaches deep into your soul, weakening your defenses and drawing you back into cycles that steal joy and peace. It shows up unexpectedly, striking you when you’re the most vulnerable.
God’s Design for Your Body and Heart
God wants you to be fulfilled more than you want it for yourself. But His way is order, holiness, and protection. Keeping your body holy is a reasonable and beautiful service to Him. When your heart is saturated with God’s love, your desires will line up with His, guiding you to express yourself in ways that honor both Him and the future He has for you.
The road of waiting, surrender, and spiritual preparation may feel long, but every “no” to temptation is a “yes” to God’s greater plan for your life. Focus your heart and mind on Him continually. Be strengthened by the Spirit and guard your soul with the Word. Remember, every moment you choose holiness is a moment drawing you closer to the joy, peace, and love God has waiting for you in your future marriage. ■
Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Guarding Your Heart and Soul for God’s Best”, written by Kim Times, edited by Rev. Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.
