Identity First. Connection Second. Destiny Always.
1 Kings 11:1-3 (NLT):
“11 Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. 2 The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. 3 He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord.”
There’s an old southern saying: “If you hang around a dog with fleas long enough, you’ll get fleas too.” We sometimes chuckle at this, but the meaning is deep and wise. It lines up with Scripture beautifully. The Old Testament gives repeated accounts of God instructing His people to separate themselves from those who worshiped other gods. It wasn’t about ethnicity or culture — it was about spiritual influence. God knew that if Israel joined themselves with idolaters, their souls would be pulled in directions they were never designed to go. Their worship of the Great I Am would become diluted, their devotion would be fractured, and their identity would be weakened. This wasn’t God being restrictive — this was God being protective. He understood something Israel didn’t want to believe: connection shapes affection, and affection shapes direction. And when a believer joins their life with someone who rejects the Lord, darkness gains legal access to places it was never meant to enter.
When Your Heart Gets Pulled in the Wrong Direction
This is where it gets personal. Some of us are not being destroyed by what we reject — we are being destroyed by what we tolerate. The enemy doesn’t always come roaring. He often comes wrapped in compatibility, attractiveness, or comfort. Solomon didn’t wake up one day and decide to abandon God. His heart was pulled. His soul was stretched. His desires were redirected. And before he knew it, the affection that once belonged to God alone was shared with idols.
Misalignment Happens Slowly, But It Costs Deeply
Solomon is the perfect example of this. God didn’t choose Solomon because he was perfect — He chose him because Solomon’s heart was tender, humble, and yielded. In 1 Kings 3:10 (NLT), Scripture tells us, “The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom.” At the start of his reign, Solomon wanted nothing more than to lead God’s people well. His devotion was pure. His worship was real. His heart was aligned. But little by little, compromise crept in. Not all at once. Not with one decision, but with many small ones. Solomon didn’t fall because he stopped loving God — he fell because he started loving the wrong things alongside God.
This matters because many believers today underestimate the power of soul ties and connections. We join our hearts, our conversations, our emotions, our desires, and sometimes our bodies with people who do not belong to God — and then we wonder why we feel spiritually confused, emotionally drained, and unable to hear Him clearly. The truth is simple:
You cannot stay aligned with God while staying tied to what God is trying to pull you out of.
The Desire to Be Chosen Comes From God
Any woman that desires to be married would want nothing more than to be adored by her husband. To be the apple of her husband’s eye, loved, respected, and revered by your man would make any woman’s heart sing. We deserve to know what it feels like to be chosen above all other women, by the man we love and who loves us. But here’s the truth most of us don’t slow down long enough to consider this truth: we long to be chosen because we were created to be chosen. That desire didn’t come from our culture — it came from our Creator. It is woven into our design. It is stamped into our soul.
But this is where Solomon’s story warns us: when you don’t understand the worth of being chosen by God, you will accept the wrong kind of choosing from man. When you forget that God has set you apart, you will settle for people who treat you like an option. And when you don’t guard your heart with the wisdom God commanded, you risk giving your devotion to those who are unqualified to carry it. Solomon didn’t fall because he wasn’t chosen — he fell because he didn’t honor the weight of being chosen.
And Woman of God—beloved Sister in Christ, the same is true for you.
When God Sets You Apart, Everything About You Changes
You are not ordinary. Your life is not casual. Your destiny is not common. You have been chosen by the living God to thrive in Christ — intentionally, deliberately, personally, and eternally. The same God who warned Solomon about misplaced affections is the God who watches over you with holy jealousy, because your heart is valuable to Him. That’s why certain relationships couldn’t last. That’s why certain connections fell apart. That’s why God let some situations collapse even when you begged Him to keep them together. He wasn’t punishing you — He was protecting you.
Because you are chosen, the Father will not allow you to remain tied to what will poison your purpose.
This is where the title becomes the truth you carry into your life: Chosen Above All Others. Not chosen because you’re perfect. Not chosen because you’ve never struggled. Not chosen because you always get it right. A man chooses you to be his wife above all others because you carry a heart determined to let your love for Christ govern your entire being. You were chosen by God because He set you apart. He saw your future, your calling, and your assignment — and He decided your heart was too precious to be shared with idols. He decided your destiny was too significant to be tangled with people who don’t love Him. And when you know this deep in your soul, that confidence becomes a magnet; it pulls the right blessing toward you.
Solomon’s downfall was that he forgot who he was.
Your victory will be that you remember who you are.
You are chosen by the One whose love never fades, whose voice never lies, and whose plans for you are too mighty to be sabotaged by misaligned relationships. Honor His choosing. Walk in it. Guard your heart. And let God lead you into connections that reflect the value He has placed on your life.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Chosen Above All Others”, written by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.
