Prepare for Covenant, Not Just Marriage

Understanding the Commitment You’re Preparing to Make Before God

1. Understand What Makes Marriage a Covenant

There’s something wonderful about looking forward to getting married. The excitement of meeting someone special, falling in love, and imagining the life you’ll share together can make marriage seem like the fulfillment of a beautiful dream. It’s such a beautiful experience, and while we’re enjoying all that comes with it, we should also be grounded in what God’s Word teaches us about the sacredness of the marriage covenant.

Marriage is much more than two people falling in love and deciding to spend their lives together. It’s a covenant, and that’s something we need to understand before we ever stand at the altar. Malachi 2:14 (NLT) describes marriage as a covenant between a husband and wife, with Heavenly Father as its witness: “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.”

When we study God’s Word, we learn that He takes covenants very seriously. He’s a covenant-keeping God, faithful to His promises, and He expects His children to understand the importance of the commitments they make. Marriage isn’t simply an arrangement that lasts as long as two people are happy with one another. It’s a sacred union that calls for faithfulness, responsibility, and a willingness to honor God in the way we treat our spouses. Before we begin preparing for the wedding, we need to understand what we’re preparing to promise.

2. Recognize That Covenant Requires Faithfulness

It’s easy to talk about being faithful when everything is going beautifully. When you’re enjoying one another’s company, agreeing on just about everything, and looking forward to a wonderful future together, commitment doesn’t seem particularly difficult. But what happens when life doesn’t go according to plan? What happens when financial pressures arise, disagreements become difficult, or one of you is going through a season that requires more patience and understanding than the other expected? These are the circumstances that reveal how seriously we take our commitments.

Faithfulness isn’t just about remaining sexually faithful to your spouse, although that is certainly important. It also involves honesty, trustworthiness, keeping your word, and being someone your spouse can depend upon. Heavenly Father has demonstrated His faithfulness to us time and again, and as His children, we should be learning to reflect that same quality in our relationships. A woman who is preparing for covenant should be asking herself whether she’s developing the kind of character that can be trusted with such a serious commitment.

3. Prepare Your Heart for the Responsibilities of Marriage

Now, we can spend a great deal of time thinking about what we want in a husband. We want him to be loving, dependable, spiritually mature, financially responsible, and willing to treat us with kindness and respect. And those are important qualities to look for. But somewhere along the way, we also need to turn those questions around and ask what kind of wife we’re preparing to become. Are we learning how to communicate without becoming disrespectful when we’re upset? Can we acknowledge when we’re wrong, or do we have a habit of defending ourselves even when we know we haven’t handled something properly? Are we willing to consider another person’s needs without feeling that our own have somehow become less important?

Marriage requires two people who are willing to give, listen, forgive, and work through difficulties together. Philippians 2:3–4 teaches believers to value others and consider their interests rather than thinking only of themselves. That doesn’t mean a woman should neglect her well-being or accept mistreatment to keep her marriage together. It means that both husband and wife have a responsibility to demonstrate the love, humility, and consideration that Jesus Christ teaches us.

4. Understand That Love Must Be Supported by Spiritual Maturity

We hear people say that love conquers all, and that sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? But love alone, particularly when we’re talking about romantic feelings, won’t automatically teach us how to handle anger, overcome selfishness, communicate honestly, or resolve disagreements. Those things require spiritual growth. A woman can genuinely love her husband and still have attitudes or behaviors that make marriage unnecessarily difficult. And the same is true of a man. That’s why spiritual preparation is so important. As believers, we’re being transformed through Jesus Christ, and that growth should influence how we respond to correction, handle disappointment, and treat the people closest to us. Colossians 3:12–14 teaches us to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love. These aren’t qualities we suddenly acquire on our wedding day. They’re qualities we should be developing as we walk with Heavenly Father. And while none of us will be perfect, we should be willing to recognize where we need to grow and allow God’s Word to correct us. A healthy marriage needs two people who understand that spiritual maturity is an ongoing responsibility.

5. Put Your Covenant with Jesus Christ First

One of the most important things a woman can do before marriage is strengthen her relationship with Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ. Marriage will bring another person into your life in a very significant way, but it should never take the place that belongs to God alone. Our relationship with Him must remain the foundation upon which we build every other relationship. Through Jesus Christ, we’ve been brought into the new covenant, and the Holy Spirit works within us to help us grow in obedience, wisdom, and love. The more we learn to submit our hearts to God’s Word, the better prepared we become to honor Him in marriage.

This is where our prayers about marriage should begin. We can certainly pray for a loving husband, a peaceful home, and a beautiful life together. But we should also be praying for the patience, faithfulness, strength, and spiritual maturity that marriage will require of us. We need to ask Heavenly Father to show us the areas where we still need correction and growth. After all, preparing for covenant isn’t simply about getting ready to share your life with someone else. It’s about becoming a woman whose life reflects Jesus Christ, whether she’s married or single. ■

“Prepare for Covenant, Not Just Marriage”, written by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to encouraging and inspiring Christian Women to live boldly through God’s Word.