The first date went better than expected for my sister in Christ. He checked a lot of the boxes she had in mind for her future. In her eyes, it felt promising. But a few days went by with no word from him, and she finally asked, “Do you think I should reach out to him?” In that moment, I didn’t just hear her question—I heard the deeper need. She wasn’t just asking for dating advice. She was showing that her confidence in God’s timing—and in her own worth—still needed to grow.
When you know without a doubt that you belong to God’s Kingdom, your expectations shift. You don’t chase. You don’t beg. You don’t settle for confusion. Why? Because you trust that with God, things align beautifully and effortlessly. And when you’re aligned with His Will, you never have to question where you stand—especially in something as important as a relationship.
Jesus said in Matthew 16:25 (NLT), “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” That includes your dating life. Your love life. Your timeline. Your desire to be chosen. When you surrender those things, you allow God to lead—and when He leads, peace follows.
God designed the man to pursue, provide, and protect. That means if a man truly wants to see you, talk to you, or be with you, he will. No coaching, no nudging, no hints needed. He will pursue what he values. The woman’s responsibility isn’t to make it easier for him. Her role is to simply make a choice—yes, I’ll allow you to pursue me, or no, I will not. And her ‘yes’ should be based solely on the wisdom of her discernment according to the Father’s standard.
Proverbs 18:22 (NLT) says, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” This isn’t just a sweet or sentimental verse—it’s a reflection of divine order. The man does the finding. He’s the one who initiates. And although this goes against the grain of today’s culture, where pursuit is often seen as a shared responsibility, this is the way God set it up. Because it’s His design, we can have full confidence that it’s not just good—it’s best.
In today’s culture, boldness is often confused with value, and many women feel pressured or empowered to go after what they want—including men. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s God-ordained and spiritually wise. God isn’t trying to withhold love—He wants us to allow Him to build it on the right foundation. When we step outside His order to force something in our own strength, we risk delaying or damaging the very thing we desire. Trusting God’s design means trusting His timing, His structure, and the flow of favor that comes with it.
Amos 3:3 (NLT) asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” The answer is no. Two people can’t go far unless they’re walking in the same direction. And there’s something powerful about a woman who knows she was chosen on purpose, not just picked by convenience. Love doesn’t beg, force, or manipulate. It waits. It honors. And it knows how to move when the time is right.
Remember this: when you gave your life to Christ, you gave up doing things your way. That includes relationships. You are not meant to lose yourself in a human being. You are called to remain in Christ. When you stay rooted in Him, whatever is meant for you—whoever is meant for you—will be drawn to the light of Christ within you. And when it’s from God, it won’t have to be chased. It will flow, and it will grow. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Give Up Your Life for Christ”, written by Kim Times, edited by Rev. Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.
