Isaiah 55:6(NLT), “Seek the LORD while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near.”
This week I spoke with a gentleman whose heart had been “broken into little pieces”, as he put it. He’d been in a long-term relationship with a woman for several years, and it had fallen apart. It wasn’t a contentious breakup at all, and he and his ex-girlfriend remained on good speaking terms. They were so cordial in fact that he hoped she’d change her mind about them. He felt giving her time and space would help her figure out that they were right for each other. After months of high hopes, he finally decided to let her know he still loved her and wanted to rekindle their relationship. She wasn’t exactly thrilled about the prospect, but she didn’t reject it either. He decided to accept her refusal to roll out a firm “NO” as a maybe-one-day-in-the-future “YES”. That was a big mistake.
His ex-girlfriend didn’t want to hurt him and did everything she possibly could do to let him down easy. She hoped they could remain friends, but he found this very hard to accept. He didn’t deal with the heartbreak well and became resentful and bitter. He felt very let down by life and complained about not wanting another serious relationship. It is commonly believed that men do not handle their emotions well, because historically, they’ve been taught to “soak it up, and be a man.” The notion of a man crying has been looked upon as a sign of weakness. Given this, it’s not surprising that some men will internalize their pain and have problems with processing it in an emotionally healthy way. God’s love is the only remedy for the rawness of emotional pain. God’s Word in Isaiah 55:6-7 instructs us to seek Him while He can be found.
In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ instructs us to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness above all other things. This tells us all we need to know about seeking the Lord while He can be found. We are to seek Him first, which means that seeking God must be the first thing we do in every situation. Our willingness to do this in faith speaks to the condition of our hearts. It indicates whether we’ve appropriately prioritized God and His Word, and it shows whether we’re trusting Him. There are some people that experience a hurtful situation in life, and they never get over it. They pine away over a person, and let the loss rule their entire existences. They talk about it constantly, even years after the situation has gone by. Their hearts are not focused on God, but instead focused on the person that is no longer a part of their existence.
Heavenly Father understands that hurt and pain are a part of life, but He has the power to heal our broken hearts. He loves us and wants to do this. We must be careful not to become so consumed with our own pain that we shut Him out of our hearts. This is where the gentleman who felt his heart was shattered into pieces was headed. We need to know that it is possible for a person to become so saturated with their own pain and so adamant about staying a victim to it that their heart becomes dark. Then, they close themselves off from God. They refuse to believe in His healing, and in their minds and hearts, He is no longer near.
As a single Christian woman that is looking to partner in marriage someday, you might meet a man that has endured tremendous heartache in the past. You must allow for the possibility that although he moved on, he may have done so still carrying deep emotional wounds, some that might be injurious to you. He may not have allowed the Lord to heal his heart, but instead internalized the pain; therefore, it may manifest one day in ways that are very detrimental. As women, nurturing is in our DNA, but only God can heal. We never want to put ourselves in a vulnerable position with a man that hasn’t learned to seek God for his healing. Before we leap into relationships, our best course of action is always to pray and seek God first. We must use both caution and compassion, but never allow ourselves to emotionally invest until we hear from God that it is safe to do so.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Caution and Compassion” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.