I personally know and have heard about many single believers that have become very serious about increasing their faith towards marriage and have taken a vow of abstinence. Society has tried to normalize having a physical relationship before the commitment of marriage, and even many believers have adopted this practice. The world’s strategy of testing things out first is a common mindset, but the rampant issues revolving around relationships demonstrate that stepping away from God’s standard is costly. As believers take a stand for God’s Word in this area, for some of them, meeting new people and dating those unfamiliar with God’s standard comes with a few challenges. One individual who refused to compromise her commitment to God was told, “You think you’re better than everyone else.”
Our Heavenly Father instructs us in 2Corinthians 6:17 (NIV), “Therefore, “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” God has called us, as His children, to be set apart. We are not to be like the world. In Romans 12:2(NIV), He tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Physical pleasure is one of the things that the devil uses to tempt people to put their bodies before their spirits. Whenever we fall for this trick, we are going to lose out. Sex with anyone other than our spouses is a sin, and sin can’t do anything other than cause destruction and death.
As born-again believers, we cannot be like the world and behave as others do just because we believe it will bring instant gratification and pleasure. One of my commitments to the Gospel of Jesus Christ is to warn about the dangers of sexual sin, because it holds us back in more ways than we can imagine. Some of the comments I’ve received say that we’re out of our minds to expect that in this day and age women will practice abstinence. Some have said it’s too religious and that no one will pay attention to it. Others give us a thumbs up for keeping the standards in alignment with God’s Word, but no matter what folks say or how they label us, the most crucial importance is how God sees us. It’s not about religion, it’s about God’s Word and doing what pleases our Heavenly Father.
1Corinthians 6:18(NLT) tells us, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” Sex with someone that is never going to be your husband is harmful to your relationship with God, and it is incredibly damaging to a person’s soul. This is just the truth, and there’s no sense trying to put a different spin on it. God forgives our sins, and this we know, but forgiveness does not mean we escape the consequences of our actions.
Someone said to me that she’s not quite ready to be in a dating relationship that doesn’t involve sexual intimacy with a man. She said it’s unreasonable to ask a man to sacrifice what he needs, and that sex is a huge part of how a man shows his love for the woman in his life. Her exact words were, ” I’m not completely on board with it because I need it too.” This is the mindset of an unbelieving world, where women are persuaded to put their physical needs and the needs of the man above the Father’s commands. The world loves this attitude because it’s wreaks of idolatry, breaks fellowship with God, and gives power to the kingdom of darkness; all of these are exactly what the devil wants. It’s a choice to seek pleasing the man over pleasing God, and everyone is free to make it, but to receive God’s rewards, we must seek Him first.
God teaches us through Hebrews 12:1(NLT), “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Sin is a heavy weight. It slows, weighs, or holds us down. Our Heavenly Father wants us to strip it off because you can’t go higher and further in Christ with the heavy weight of sinful baggage strapped on your back. We don’t belong to ourselves. We belong to God. He tells us how to preserve our souls and the bodies He’s given us. Our bodies are His temples, and if we desire to please Him, we’ll keep our temples holy.
God wants us to live freely and to enjoy the abundance that our Lord and Savior made available for us. We have a very loving Heavenly Father who knows and understands the challenges single folks face with sexual temptations. It’s one of the reasons He’s given us the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit to help guide us when we’re facing tempting situations. We’re God’s children, and again, our bodies don’t belong to us. Our stand to honor God with our bodies will be rewarded, and if we have any doubt about this, we need only ask the Father directly. If we’re earnest to follow His wisdom, He’ll show us the damage sexual sin causes to our desire for marriage and to our lives. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Unload the Baggage that Keeps You from Marriage”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.