In many of our past relationships, there was a lot of overpromising and underdelivering by the man and by us as well. When things started to go sour, the ship was sinking so fast that we felt helpless to save it. We learned that significant relationships have the potential to take us to the highest highs and the lowest lows. They can be exciting, rewarding, entertaining, and exhilarating, but all of this takes on new meaning as relationships get closer to marriage. They begin to require more of us, and this doesn’t decrease, but increases as things progress. The bond deepens, and as it does, partners are faced with the work of deeper communication, intimacy, unity, loyalty, commitment, sacrifice, and supportiveness. We learn from experience that sometimes in our significant relationships, partners run rather than pull up their sleeves to prepare for the treasures of the next phase.
For those of us that are single and praying to partner in marriage, we must open our hearts to the reality that our new relationship will not be like our past ones. This is where our faith should be. We can’t expect newness when in our minds and hearts, we are not making room for it. A single person desiring marriage must measure up to the newness they expect, and this is one of the most challenging truths for us to accept.
We haven’t asked ourselves if we can truly handle the blessing of a spouse right now, and if we’re still in wait-mode, we have to consider that the answer to this question is maybe not. As an unmarried person that is expecting to be someone’s spouse, we must change. Ephesians 5:22-28(NLT) gives us God’s standard for husbands and wives. This passage tells us, “22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.”
Ephesians 5:22-28 sets God’s expectation for the level of humility and loyalty that men and women must have to partner well. We must become a supportive and good steward of one of God’s treasures. And let’s face it, all of us think we’re ready, but from where we stand today, we don’t have a clue what our next relationship will require of us spiritually, mentally, or emotionally. Many of us are not measuring our preparedness to partner based on the standards that God has set but by the standards we set. Because we’ve done this, our prayers may be missing the mark, because they are not grounded in God’s truth.
God’s prophet, Daniel, gives us a window into the heart and humility we must have as we pray for spiritual preparation for ourselves and our partners. Daniel 9:4-6(NLT) says, “4 I prayed to the LORD my God and confessed: “O Lord, you are a great and awesome God! You always fulfill your covenant and keep your promises of unfailing love to those who love you and obey your commands. 5 But we have sinned and done wrong. We have rebelled against you and scorned your commands and regulations. 6 We have refused to listen to your servants the prophets, who spoke on your authority to our kings and princes and ancestors and to all the people of the land.”
Daniel pleaded and prayed to God after reading the writings of the prophet, Jeremiah, that Jerusalem would have a hard time for seventy years because of their sin and unfaithfulness. He labored before God because he loved them, and he knew they had not done the things God requires. As single women, we must have this same heart. We could have been better partners in our prior relationships. We could have walked closer to the Lord. We could have built a solid foundation of faith in Him and changed our ways, but we didn’t do all that we could have. We should be humble before the Lord and seek His forgiveness so that we have the right heart to pray for ourselves, our future spouses, and our marital unions.
One of the reasons that marriage has gotten a bad rap is because so many are entering into God’s institution blindly, without giving thought to how challenging relationships can be. They require that two people have a solid prayer life and are committed to pray for each other every day. As we stand before our Heavenly Father, we don’t know all the ways in which we need to spiritually grow so that we can handle the blessing of marriage. We don’t know if we’re prepared to nurture and maintain the bond we’ve longed to share with our spouses, but these are the types of things that should be in our prayers. We should be praying for eye-opening revelation that helps us to prepare for our spouses, and we should also be praying that they are doing the same.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Can You Handle the Blessing?”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.