Why putting Jesus Christ first changes everything
Before you give your heart to someone else, there is a question that deserves your honest attention. It’s a question that should come before the attraction, before the excitement of a new relationship, and before you begin imagining what the future might look like together. Has your heart first been fully surrendered to Jesus Christ?
That isn’t meant to take the joy out of falling in love. It’s meant to protect your heart from building your hopes on the wrong foundation. When we long to be loved, it’s easy for our emotions to begin leading us before we’ve taken time to seek the Lord. We start asking, Does he like me? Is this finally the one? Can I see a future with him? Those questions aren’t wrong, but they shouldn’t be the first ones we ask.
The first question is whether Jesus Christ truly has first place in our hearts. If He doesn’t, there’s a temptation to look to another person to become what only He was ever meant to be. No relationship can carry that weight. No man can satisfy the deepest needs of the soul. Those places belong to Christ alone.
The foundation we build on matters. When our hearts are first established in Jesus Christ, we are able to love from a place of security instead of fear, wisdom instead of desperation, and faith instead of emotion. But when we build on anything less than Him, we eventually discover that the wrong foundation always costs more than we were prepared to pay.
Jesus addressed this principle in Luke 14:28 (NLT): “But don’t begin until you count the cost.” He was speaking about the cost of discipleship, but the principle reaches into every major commitment we make. Love is beautiful, but it is also weighty. Giving someone access to your heart is one of the most significant decisions you’ll ever make. Before you build a relationship that has the potential to shape your future, it’s wise to stop and ask whether the foundation is strong enough to support what you’re about to build.
That foundation begins with Jesus Christ. Mark 12:30 (NLT) says, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Our Heavenly Father never intended to occupy just one part of our lives while everything else competes for first place. He calls us to love Him with our whole being. When Jesus Christ is firmly established as Lord of our hearts, every other relationship begins to find its proper place. We stop looking for another person to become what only He can be, and we become free to love others from a place of faith instead of need.
When we try to skip over a fully invested commitment to God, we start building emotional attachment on instability. We see potential, chemistry, and consistency in some areas, and before long we’re trying to make the relationship fit, even when our walk with God is telling us something isn’t right. And sometimes, without even realizing it, we begin negotiating our walk with God just to keep a relationship.
But in Matthew 6:33 (NLT), Jesus brings us back into alignment: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” The promise is not that we will find everything we want in a person. The promise is that when Jesus Christ is first, God Himself takes responsibility for what we need.
If a relationship is slowly pulling you away from prayer, making you compromise your convictions, weakening your desire to be in God’s Word, or causing you to become less sensitive to the Holy Spirit, don’t ignore it. That’s not just relationship trouble—it’s a spiritual warning. Anything that consistently competes with your love for Jesus Christ is costing you more than you realize.
Because if it’s not anchored in Christ, it’s going to rob you of treasures you can’t afford to lose—your peace, your convictions, your spiritual sensitivity, and your fellowship with God.
And sometimes the hardest truth is this: it’s not always about the other person being “bad.” Sometimes it’s about the relationship exposing where our own heart has started drifting.
A healthy relationship is not just about chemistry or compatibility—it’s about spiritual direction. Does this connection sharpen your walk with God, or slowly soften your conviction? Does it draw you closer to Jesus Christ, or quietly compete for your devotion? Because here’s the truth: the right relationship will never ask you to lower your love for God to keep it.
And when Jesus Christ is first, love doesn’t become an idol—it becomes an overflow.
So before you give a man your heart, make sure it’s already anchored in the only One who cannot fail you. Because when your heart belongs to Jesus Christ first, you don’t lose yourself in love. You’re guided by the One who loves you most, and that changes the way you love everyone else. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Before You Give Him Your Heart”, written by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.
