Before You Say “I Do” Series
Before God Gives You a Marriage, He Prepares You for One
Learn why surrendering your plans, expectations, and timeline to God’s Will is essential for building a Christ-centered marriage.
Surrender Begins Before Marriage
Most people think preparing for marriage means praying for the right person. That’s definitely part of it, but it’s only one part. When we bring our desire for marriage before our Heavenly Father, to some degree, we should also recognize the spiritual growth and maturity that desire requires of us. Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 12:48 (NLT), “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” There’s both a strengthening and deepening that takes place within us as we prepare to receive the increase we’re asking God to give us.
Before our Heavenly Father entrusts us with the responsibility of caring for another’s heart, He first invites us to surrender our own hearts to Him. Marriage preparation is not simply about waiting for someone to arrive. It is about allowing Jesus Christ to become Lord over every area of our lives, including our plans, hopes, expectations, dreams, and future. Surrender begins when we are willing to say, “Father, I desire marriage, but I want Your Will more than I want my own way.”
When God’s Best Looks Different Than Your Plan
In Proverbs 3:5–6 (NLT), God’s Word reminds us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his Will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Surrender is not about giving up on marriage. It’s not hopelessness. Surrender is trust. It is recognizing that God’s wisdom is greater than our own and that His plans are not limited by what we can see.
It’s never about our loving Heavenly Father taking something away from us. It is about Him leading us toward something far greater than anything we could create on our own.
Trusting God With the Details of Your Future
Many believers surrender their desire for marriage to God, but struggle to surrender the details surrounding it. We may trust Him with the outcome while still trying to manage the timeline, the expectations, and the vision we have created for our future.
True surrender goes much deeper. It means placing our timeline in God’s hands. It means releasing our expectations, our preferences, our fears, our dreams, and even the future we have imagined in our minds. It means saying, “Lord, I want what You want more than I want what I have planned.” Because sometimes the hardest thing to surrender is not the desire itself. Sometimes it is the picture we have created around that desire.
We can become attached to the way we think God should answer our prayers. We imagine the person, the circumstances, and the timeline. But God sees what we cannot see. He knows what we need, what we are ready for, and what still needs to be healed within us.
In Psalm 37:5 (NLT), the Psalmist reminds us, “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.” Trust and surrender always walk together. When we truly trust God, obedience becomes the natural response, even when His timing or His plans are different from our own.
Surrender also requires obedience. There may be moments when God asks us to wait. There may be seasons when He asks us to grow. There may be wounds He wants us to forgive, patterns He wants us to release, or relationships He wants us to place back into His hands. Real surrender says, “Lord, even when I do not understand, I trust You.”
Trusting the God Who Sees What You Cannot
Sometimes we struggle to surrender because we believe holding on gives us control. We think if we keep planning, searching, and trying to make things happen, we can protect ourselves from disappointment. But surrender does not make us powerless. It places us in the hands of the One who knows us completely and has all power in His hands.
Psalm 84:11 (NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” We must remember two things: that God doesn’t withhold good things from His kids, and He sees what we cannot. He sees beyond the moment, beyond our emotions, and beyond what looks good on the outside. He knows what will truly strengthen our faith and fulfill His purpose.
Marriage is a beautiful gift, but it also requires a surrendered heart. It requires someone who knows how to apologize, forgive, communicate, serve, and love beyond feelings. Those qualities are not developed when the wedding day arrives. They are developed in the seasons before it, in the moments when God is shaping our hearts and teaching us to love the way He loves.
So, let the Lord have His way. Truly.
Trust that He knows what He is doing. Trust that His timing is not a punishment, and His preparation is not a delay. When you make Him your focus and your relationship with Him the greatest priority of your life, you can rest knowing that He will lead you exactly where He desires you to go. ■
Holy Bible, New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
“Before You Say ‘I Do’ Series- Part 3: Learning Surrender Before Marriage”, written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to encouraging and inspiring Christian Women to live boldly through God’s Word.
