There’s a famous quote that says, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to worry about keeping a lie straight.” There’s also another golden gem that most all of us have heard, “Honesty is the best policy.” Unequivocally, honesty is always the best policy, practice, and pursuit; but sometimes in life, we are faced with a situation when the truth, if spoken, will be devastating for someone to hear. In this case, what do you do? Well, like everything else in life, this is one of those situations where we must have faith in God’s Word. Jesus Christ is the truth, and he tells us that it will make us free. So, if we want to honor our relationships, then the truth is always the way to go, but as with much in the Christian life, it is how we deliver it that makes all the difference.
I had a conversation with a woman who shared her true feelings with the man she loves. They’ve been on and off a few years, and she didn’t feel as if either of them had been upfront about their feelings and intentions. She’s ready for a marriage commitment, and thought it was time for her to put all her cards on the table. In a relationship, I’m all for being as authentic in communicating your desires and needs as possible, but a person must be as honest about the situation they are dealing with as they are about what they want. Somewhere deep inside her heart, I believe this woman knew the man didn’t share her desire to take the relationship any further, but she had refused to face it.
After she shared her feelings, he went out of his way to avoid her. This man knew the truth, that he didn’t want to marry her, but he didn’t know how to deliver it. The whole situation turned out completely different than she had hoped, and she was devastated. Being ready to hear the truth is something most of us claim to be; being prepared to hear ‘no’ is a whole other ball game. This man didn’t want to hurt her, and instead of having an honest, compassionate, and mature conversation, he hid. He mirrored her own refusal to face the reality that he didn’t want to marry her.
The truth doesn’t change. It’s consistent, and it will not fail us. The beloved sister who allowed herself to fall in love with someone who didn’t love her back, did so out of a belief that she didn’t deserve more. This man ducked and dived to avoid seeing her. Is this really an individual that can handle the challenges of marriage? Doesn’t seem like it. So, to grieve for something that isn’t the best for you would not be the best use of your time. A better solution is to do what Philippians 4:8 says and fix our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and excellent. Those yummies describe the kind of man who will not run from commitment. That’s what God has in store for us, and we should be preparing to receive it.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Truth is the Same Every Time” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.