Free-Will is a gift of God that we must intimately understand in our significant relationships. Many women pray for God to change a man for them, hoping He will alter a man’s thought patterns and behaviors without the man’s consent. However, this is an unrealistic expectation. Some women also wait for a man who meets all their desired qualities, believing they are entitled to a partner with a specific pedigree. These desires form a framework of expectations in our minds that may not align with the vision God holds for our lives.
This is crucial information to maintain wisdom. Within the framework some of us have established, we may be willing to compromise our stand on the Word, dating or marrying a man who ultimately harms our relationship with God. If we are willing to yield to such a man, we are out of harmony with God’s Will, which can hinder our blessings, cause spiritual stagnation, and derail our desires.
Our expectations must be in check when it comes to our significant relationships with men. This alignment is achieved by surrendering our desires entirely to God. We must be clear that God will only send a man who knows Him. This man may not be extensively knowledgeable about the Bible, and he may not be religious, but he acknowledges God’s sovereignty and righteousness. He desires to do right because he wants to honor God and honor himself. If he doesn’t honor himself, he will not honor you.
One of the major ways that we must adjust our expectations is by understanding and acknowledging that romantic sensibilities are not God’s priority for bringing two individuals together; His purpose is. Failing to acknowledge this truth and allow it to steer our motivations for marriage is a blessing blocker. We must trust that God is well aware of our preferences—our likes and dislikes. The ones that are not aligned with His plan and with what He knows is best will undoubtedly take a back seat. Therefore, we must prioritize the preeminence of God’s plan and purpose when establishing any framework of expectations in our quest for marriage.
1John 4:7-12(NLT) states, “7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love–not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.”
Our entire purpose for being on this earth is to cultivate a meaningful and pleasing relationship with God. Every encounter, experience, and occurrence in our lives is intended to lead us towards a deeper love for Him and others. This is God’s ultimate goal for us. Our lives are meticulously and strategically positioned by Him for the sole purpose of grounding us in a love that transcends earthly concerns—a love that isn’t dependent on the things we think are important. What truly matters is that He has fashioned our lives for His eternal purpose, so that His love is fully expressed through us. We must continually surrender and humble ourselves under Him and His sovereignty every moment of our lives.
Romans 12:2(NLT) says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” In this verse, God tells us exactly what we should not do, and exactly what we should do. We should not copy the behaviors and customs of society or the world, because those are contrary to the Word and Will of God. Instead, He directs us to allow Him to transform us as we study and honor His Word. By doing this we get rid of our framework and adopt His.
Holding on to our expectations has contributed to our loneliness and kept us out of sync with God’s Will and Word. Some of us are up to our eyeballs—deeply entrenched—in entitlement even as life is intensely urging us to elevate and increase our thoughts and attitudes towards God’s love. We may be lacking a wholehearted acceptance of His love for us while also failing to reciprocate an unconditional love for Him. Our Heavenly Father can help us overcome this challenge if we’ll allow Him. When tightening our relationship with God and loving Him the way He deserves becomes the focal point of our prayers, ultimately, we’ll welcome the opportunity to relinquish our expectations and be guided solely by His Will. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Adjusting Your Expectations”, written by Fran Mack. Edits by Kim Times and K. Stephens for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.