Proverbs 21:9(NLT) says, “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” It’s amazing to think that this was written thousands of years ago, yet it is so relevant that it could have been written today. The wisdom of this verse was given to provide a husband with a standard for choosing a wife. It also lets the wife know that it doesn’t matter how beautiful the home is, if she isn’t living by God’s peace, living with her isn’t pretty. It demonstrates that as long as men and women have been coming together to walk with each other through life, they have had to deal with each other’s shortcomings. Even way, way back in the day, men were talking about the misery of living with a spouse that is bitter, unhappy, and always complaining. God is letting us know under no uncertain terms that a wife that carries on to such a degree that her husband is better off in the attic is not His idea of a quality spouse.
God is our Creator. This is a staggering truth, and many people overlook the heft of what this simple statement conveys. Our God is perfect through and through. He doesn’t need anyone’s help to be who He is. He’s God all by Himself. He has all power in His hands, and when He does something, He doesn’t have to back track or start over. He does things just the way He wants from the very beginning. This means that when He set up the roles of a husband and a wife, He didn’t make a mistake. These roles are different, and equally important. One is no less than the other, but again, they are indeed different.
At the deepest level, a man cannot do what a woman does, and vice versa. God is the One who set this up, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. A woman was created by God to have certain things within her that a man automatically responds to. There’s no tugging and pulling. There’s no struggle or strife. When a woman is confident in what she carries, she does what God has purposed her to do, and she puts her whole heart into it. She knows that everything she does as a wife must be in alignment with obedience to God’s Word and standard. It’s not about her. It’s not about the man. It’s about fulfilling God’s purpose in the earth so everyone, the husband, the wife, and their family is blessed and rewarded because of their obedience to Heavenly Father by following the example of the Lord Jesus Christ.
The wife sets the tone of the home. She’s uniquely and divinely programed with this ability, but whether or not she taps into this wealth of good treasure is completely left to her. She can make her home loving and warm or chaotic and uncomfortable. There’s no secret that if she chooses to be a conduit of God’s love in her family’s life and to model the example of Christ, she will need to put that quarrelsome side in check.
There can be many reasons why a wife becomes quarrelsome, and it can be a hard habit to break, especially if she has not linked her unhappiness in life to her refusal to change. Sometimes, we are not aware of how those who care about us really feel. We don’t realize the hurt we’re causing and how unstable we appear for being out of control with our emotions and tongues. Proverbs 15:17(NLT) says, “A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate.” Sometimes a husband can love his wife but hate her ways, and a home can never be truly happy when this is the case.
The reality is clear. God has set the standards for couples and relationships. There’s no question about this. His way works, but when we step outside the parameters of what Heavenly Father has established, He can’t bless it. God does not vacillate. He blesses His Word, and He blesses us when we follow it. Relationships require spiritual, emotional, and mental preparation. We must develop a habit of always checking in with Heavenly Father to see if we’ve gone south in some of our attitudes and behaviors. This requires us to have a consistent and earnest prayer life.
Proverbs 15:28(NLT) tells us, “The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.” Speaking carefully is developed through the spiritual discipline of being seasoned in God’s Word. These things become second nature as we allow the Holy Spirit to be at work within. We can’t allow the world to convince us that God’s standards are outdated. His Word will always and forever be relevant. It is the Word of Life, and if we will realign ourselves to be the spouse God desires us to be, He will bless and help us maintain a happy home. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“A Happy Wife Keeps a Happy Home” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.