Proverbs 19:14(NLT)
“Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the LORD can give an understanding wife.”
Three years ago, when Melvin and Jacquelyn met through mutual friends, they quickly became a couple. After their first date, their conversation over the phone lasted five hours. If neither of them had work the next day, they could have talked even longer. They both love the Lord and knew He had blessed them to find one another. For the last two years, special holidays and vacations have been spent together, and Jacquelyn has been praying that Melvin is the man for her, but ultimatums and pressure are not her style. Where the man’s role is concerned, she honors God’s standards and believes she’s been very patient with Melvin. She wants to be married and have a family, and she loves him very much, but she doesn’t want to invest another year being in a relationship that doesn’t produce the results she wants.
As a woman, a position like Jacquelyn’s requires patience, spiritual maturity, and faith. The patience required is revealed in Proverbs 19:14. This verse says that ONLY the Lord can give a man an understanding wife. As much as we want to give ourselves to a man, right believing requires us to understand that it’s the Lord’s domain. God puts two individuals together, and He always knows best. He will not give a man an understanding wife if the man isn’t interested in having one. To try and overstep this is futile and very costly in the long run.
Jacquelyn has always been very independent. Owning her own business as a successful hair stylist has given her financial stability, and when she wants something, she doesn’t stop until she gets it. Melvin is compassionate, tenderhearted, and very determined to move at his own pace. To rush him to make decisions he’s not prepared to make is out of the question. The boundaries of his manhood would not allow it, and Jacquelyn is well aware of this. He values her and knows she’s exactly the kind of woman he should marry, but he’s not comfortable with it yet and has told her more than once that he’s left it in the Lord’s hands.
In dealing with a situation like Jacquelyn’s, a woman is never without options. She can walk away from the relationship, cut her losses, and consider two years without a ring to be a lesson well learned. If she can do this amicably, without bitterness or resentment, she will have demonstrated an admirable level of spiritual maturity.
Another option is for her to have patience and wait it out. If she chooses this route, there’s a risk if she’s not totally committed to God. He warns us in 1Thessalonians 4:3(NLT), “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” Disobeying God’s Will and Word will harm our happiness and futures, but if we can continue to maintain the relationship without indulging sexual sin, our patience and self-control will be richly rewarded.
The very best option is to both abstain from sin and wait on God to work things out. If we desire marriage, as God’s daughters, our responsibility will always be to prepare spiritually so that we become the kind of wife that pleases God. When the man that He’s ordained to walk with us through life is ready for his wife, God will make this presentation and the woman cannot force it. We must understand that a man must desire an understanding wife in order to be an understanding husband. The worst thing we could ever do to ourselves is to want a man that does not yet value either.
The bottom line is that no matter the situation, God is the One that takes care of our needs. If we find ourselves in a position where we’ve invested enough time, and we have to let someone go, do it happily, with confidence and faith in God. Never think that you will be in a worse position for being obedient to Him and surrendering all to His care. You are Your Father’s daughter, and He has all power in His hands. Whatever the man’s reason is for not wanting to marry, it will not spoil the Father’s plans for your life. The desires of our hearts will come to pass when we demonstrate our love for God and always choose the path that honors Him and Him alone.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Understanding Wife” written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!