I watched a discussion surrounding a question about what it means to love yourself and to love the significant person in your life. A panel of about 10 people had varying answers, and none of them mentioned the love of God in Christ. As sad as this was to see, it’s common place in the world. 1John 4:10(NLT) tells us, “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” Real and genuine love comes from God, and He puts it in our hearts when we accept His Son as our personal Lord and Savior. Society has tried to overshadow God’s great love by convincing many people that they can love without it. If we begin a new relationship with that kind of thinking and believing, we’ll have more bumpy roads to navigate than we ever imagined. The most hurtful heartache can occur when couples don’t know what it means to receive and give God’s love first.
Jesus Christ commanded us in Mark 12:30 (NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” As children of God, Mark 12:30 is a commandment from the Lord that we must obey. Our hearts must swell with gratitude for all He has done for us, and we must live each day doing all that we can to grow in Christ and grow closer to God.
When loving God is our focus, our external circumstances and situations change because our internal reality has been transformed by the Holy Spirit who lives within every born-again believer. Rather than seeing men as possible candidates for significant relationships, we see them through the eyes of Jesus Christ. We never allow the drama that often tags along with new relationships to interfere with the plans that God has for the man’s life. We’re prayerful and exceedingly careful about our actions and words, because we understand the price of leaving a poor witness.
Jesus Christ also teaches us in Matthew 6:33 (NLT) to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This verse is both a commandment and a promise. It should cause us to restack the order of our priorities so that seeking God and living righteously is first on our lists. When it is, God promises that He will give us everything we need.
At the beginning of a relationship, we don’t know everything that we need. Most of us think we do, and this is often the reason for past mistakes. If we seek God first and don’t try to get ahead of His instruction, guidance, and direction, He will help us to be wise about our decisions. Through His precious Holy Spirit, He will direct our paths so that we’re not heading down one of wasted resources and heartache.
I’ve seen and heard of many couples struggling after about six to eight months of getting to know each other. Women confess that they need loyalty and trust for them to feel loved and appreciated. Many men say that respect from a woman will always come first for them. Often neither person has the humility necessary to make a relationship last, and it becomes an uphill battle that neither of them is spiritually prepared to win.
Our relationship with God is the most important of any other. Our love and faith in Him will connect us with the right people, and today, more than ever before, we need this. We will never go wrong by following our Heavenly Father’s guidance, and it’s desperately needed to keep all our relationships Godly and meaningful to all involved. So, the right answer to the question about what it means to love ourselves and the significant person in our lives is this, it means we’ve been given the privilege and responsibility to honor God by loving others and ourselves through the love of Jesus Christ. This is the greatest thing any of us can do, and when we begin a new relationship with this on our minds and hearts, we will witness just how powerful God’s love is. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Beginning A New Relationship”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and K. Stephens for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!