Debra said to herself, “This is just another trick of the devil!” She and her boyfriend of eleven months have had a pretty good thing going. She’s hopeful that he may in fact be the one she’s been praying for. Her last breakup was very difficult emotionally. She called off dating for a while, took some time to grow spiritually, and began to pray that she would meet the man that God ordained for her life. The mistakes she made in past relationships were costly. Debra felt they caused her to regress in many ways, and she didn’t want this to happen anymore. So, she made up her mind that she only wanted the man God would present. Just as things were starting to really come together, weird things began to happen, and Debra became very fearful about her new relationship.
As she went through the process of waiting on the Lord, she was sometimes unsure, impatient, and was tempted to give up a few times. There were periods where it seemed there weren’t any men interested in her, and her self-esteem took a hit. The significant man in her life now is delighted to be in her company, and she is very thankful to God for causing them to meet, but the strangest thing is happening. Men she dated in the past are coming out of the woodwork. They are reaching out to her completely out of the blue.
She was curious why this happened, especially when she hasn’t heard a peep out of them for a very long time. “Kim, am I tripping?” She asked, “What is it about me that’s attracting these dudes now? Is it my fear that the man I’m with may not be the one, could that be the reason?”
Sometimes we forget that we have a spiritual enemy, the devil, and he is dastardly evil beyond anything we can imagine. We forget that his main objective is to separate us from our relationship with God and from the destiny God has for our lives. 2Corinthians 4:4(NLT) tells us, “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.” Through the Apostle Paul, our Heavenly Father is letting us know that one of the devil’s tricks is to blind the minds of people, and one of the ways he does this is to divert our attention through temptations.
It is not a coincidence that the enemy ch0oses certain people from our pasts to come back around. It is also possible that our fears can be a contributing factor. The hurt that Debra experienced over her breakup was gut-wrenching. It took her a while to get over it, and she was fearful of making another mistake. Many of us have been in her shoes. Debra was correct in her self-examination. 2Corinthians 13:5 encourages us to always examine our faith to see if it is genuine. And the way that we do this is to examine whether our fears are a result of a failure to forgive, because a failure or refusal to forgive will keep us from walking in faith.
2Corinthians 2:10-11(NLT) gives us the record of a man that had caused tremendous disruption and hurt in a body of believers. They wanted to condemn him for his actions, but the Apostle Paul said to them, “When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.” Resentment is an evil scheme and tool of the ruler of darkness. Resentment is harboring bitterness in our hearts against a person that has wronged us. Fear is an indicator that resentment is present, and the way to get rid of fear is to forgive, so that our heart can be set free.
When we’ve received the blessing of a solid relationship and men from the past pop up out of nowhere, the unfinished business of forgiveness and repentance should be handled. And it should be handled by seeking God’s forgiveness first for any sins related to the person. Perhaps we injured their walk with God, and we weren’t aware of it. Maybe sexual sin is involved, which means that we caused the other person to sin, and this may have sent them deeper into spiritual darkness. We don’t know the extent to which we’ve hindered their relationship and faith in God. So, the very best course of action is to pray for God’s forgiveness and to ask Him to please repair and restore any harm we have caused to the other person we were involved with.
In some instances, we must personally ask the person for forgiveness for the harm we may have done to them. If this is the case, we must pray to God and ask Him for direction. These matters are delicate, and we must never take matters into our own hands. God will lead us through His Spirit if we are earnest, prayerful, and committed when it comes to following His guidance.
Fear is a blocker, there’s no question about that. It has many cousins that show up just when the manifestation of our blessing is blossoming. We must be aware of why this happens, what causes it, and who causes it. We need to be knowledgeable about the enemy’s tactics and be on guard. We must never think the Lord is causing us to be tempted. Instead, what the devil meant for bad, we must allow God to help us use for good.
This is one of the reasons why we should spend quality time with the Lord, growing in His Word when we’re single. Then we will be spiritually prepared for the ups and downs that are involved with maintaining a solid relationship that is built on Jesus Christ. God always has our backs. He will help us nurture and strengthen the significant relationships in our lives, but our hearts must be pure towards Him, so that our love for God through the Lord Jesus Christ is at the center of everything we do.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Unfinished Business of Forgiveness”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.