One of the lessons that we quickly learn as adults is that relationships require work, and sometimes lots of it. Most of us conclude that we grossly underestimated just how much work it takes to make a relationship last. When we’re dating, we might find ourselves being the one that makes an ample investment into the man’s life, and sometimes that investment isn’t equally reciprocated. Thinking about walking away is very challenging, but we must be clear that mishandling things at this vulnerable juncture is never wise. The love we had for this man can sour and turn to bitterness. When that happens, our own fellowship with God is in jeopardy. We lose the heart and authority to be an effective witness of Christ in the life of someone that we could have influenced and impacted profoundly for God’s Kingdom. This is dangerous, and we really need to think things through.
In Luke 17:1-4(NLT), Jesus Christ taught the disciples, “1There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! 2 It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin. 3 So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”
In this passage, “one of these little ones” is a person that God has predestined as one of His own. Some believe that he is referring to young children only, but Jesus is referring to all God’s children, especially those that are just getting started in the Word and learning the Way. All of us are offended at some point, this is true, but Jesus warns that woe is the fate of someone that causes spiritual infants to become so offended in the faith that they fall into sin.
Many of us claim to have our eyes so steadfastly fixed upon the Master, but when a man comes into our lives, some of us forget who we are. Meeting someone new and having a relationship with him is not a time to let our stand on the solid rock to slip, especially when we’re not clear about what we’re working with while dating. Our eyes must be fixed upon Jesus Christ no matter who is in our lives or what our agendas may be. God commands us in 1Corinthians 16:13(NKJV) to “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.” We can never let our guards down in a relationship. The love of Christ should be our first priority, and it must be the lasting witness we leave on anyone we meet.
James 1:22(NLT) tells us, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” We can be sure of one thing; the love of God in Christ never sours. If we’re unsure about that truth, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re obligated by Christ to love others with his brand of love, not our own. 1Corinthians 13:4 tells us that his love—real, true, authentic love—is forgiving, kind, keeps no record of being wronged and doesn’t demand its own way. If this isn’t the love we’re prepared to give to the man we desire, it isn’t the love we should expect to receive.
It’s entirely possible that “One of these little ones” is the person we’re dating, and if we place our agenda ahead of God’s agenda for their lives, we’re not behaving like doers of the Word but deceiving ourselves. It’s our responsibility as believers to guard our hearts so that we don’t get out of pocket and change the trajectory of a man’s relationship with God. We must pray for this not to happen so that we are the kind of witnesses God is pleased with.
Ephesians 6:11(NKJV) tells us, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” It would be naïve of us to think that the enemy will not try to make our hearts, or the hearts of our boyfriends, sour in our relationships. We should know that this is his target, and if we allow him to win in one relationship, we will most likely do it in others. God offers us a better way and it is to put on the whole armor that He provides. We must be diligent to renew our minds and put on the mind of Christ, so that if our hearts grow sour in any relationship we are blessed to cultivate, we will turn them to the sweetness of Christ through forgiveness, patience, and a desire to always put God first. ■
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“When Love Turns Sour”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.