Proverbs 21:9(NIV)
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
There’s a saying that many husbands have heard and repeated, “happy wife, happy life!” By this, they are conveying a submission to the will and happiness of their wives. They understand the value of having peace in the home, and many of them are willing to make great concessions for their wives’ benefit in order to maintain that peace. They see the reward as far exceeding the cost. This can be a very beautiful thing, but sometimes, after years together, this attitude in the man wains. He becomes disappointed in his heart because his sacrifice, however small or great it may be, seems to be overlooked and unappreciated.
The wisdom of Proverbs 21:9 talks about a man who finds himself in the unfortunate position of having to live with a wife that is quarrelsome and never satisfied. There’s no room for him in the marriage when this is the case. His contributions may be heartfelt and well intentioned, but if they are received by a wife who fails to demonstrate and convey her gratitude, the relationship may be irreparably injured. None of us should want this to happen, but in many marriages, it does. We must be ever so careful.
Our beliefs about marriage and about the anointing from God that flows in a marriage must come into alignment with God’s truth. Because of misinformation, many couples have allowed the enemy to sow discord in their unions. As women of God who desire marriage or marital restoration, we must understand that no weapon formed against God’s institution will prosper when we are faithful and obedient to live by His Word.
1Peter 3:7(NLT) says, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together.” This is the Will of God for the husband. If God says it can be done, we had best believe, it can be done. No questions asked. As a woman of faith reading 1Peter 3:7, we must know that there is a response from us that God requires to this standard for the man. It is to reciprocate with thankfulness to God by honoring our husbands with understanding and kindness as well.
God created both the man and the woman to respond to each other in a way that builds and edifies them and their union. This is not subject to speculation or assumptions. It is the way God has set things up, and His way works with a mathematical precision. As a woman, you can win your husband’s heart through the love of Christ, and that is not up for debate. You can allow God to order your steps in His Word to such a degree that the unity in your marriage is holy, preserved, and maintained through His grace. God’s Word cannot fail, and His promises will come to pass through our faith in Him. Our Heavenly Father is faithful to preserve our marriages when we are faithful to seek Him first and put Christ in his rightful place as the head of our marital unions.
There is also no question that the enemy will plot against the unity of our marriages. When this happens, we must be clear that we cannot fight spiritual warfare with weapons of the flesh. God can and will restore a marriage that has collapsed if one of the spouses is willing to stand strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. A husband might say, “I can’t do anything right. No matter what I do, it’s not good enough. My marriage is sucking the life right out of me.” If a wife hears this and does not go deeply in prayer and search her own heart, she has the wrong attitude about marriage and is not standing strong in the Lord. If she does not humble herself before God and embrace the reality that she must change, she is not taking the sword of the Spirit, but allowing a further opening for the enemy to disrupt the marriage.
Ephesians 6:18(NLT) says, “Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” This is a requirement for believers and their marriages. You must be spiritually prepared with God’s whole armor, so you’ll have a marriage that is built on the solid foundation of Christ. Pray and ask God to give you the right words to speak to your husband as well as the right words to pray effectively for your marriage and/or the restoration of it. Renew your mind and allow God to transform you. Let the work of the Spirit begin in you and witness how the love of God in your heart ministers to your husband and causes him to change.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“A Restored Home” written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and K. Stephens for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!