Our Heavenly Father has secured our salvation through the sacrifice of our beloved Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Ephesians 2:8-9(NLT) says, “8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” God has saved us and provided a way of escape through Christ from this toxic, dark, and evil world, but sometimes we forget this. We indulge the very things that we have been saved from. We allow toxic relationships and toxic people too much room, and this has done a number on our level of peace. Even though we realize they’re not helping but hindering us, we still allow them to have access into our lives. We haven’t set boundaries that preserve our peace, and this is something that we need to change.
A boundary is a parameter that marks the limits of a space or area. In the physical realm, these boundaries are visible and all around us. They are fences, walls, and bars that protect the property of others. A boundary is also a dividing line, and it can separate one person from another. In the spiritual realm, we can’t see boundaries, but we can use them to preserve our own health and well-being. We establish these boundaries because they are necessary at times to keep certain people and the drama they bring out of our protective zones. We can take a stance of unbothered-ness when it comes to toxic people, and very often establishing boundaries that keep this stance in place is a necessary step.
Proverbs 22:24-25(NLT) tells us, “24 Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, 25 or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.” The wisdom laid out in this passage makes it clear that toxic people can be a danger to our souls. Some of the personality traits they’ve developed are selfishness, self-centeredness, and arrogance. They can be very manipulative, passive-aggressive, dishonest, unsupportive, victimizing, and judgmental. The deceptive aspect is their ability to mask these traits with qualities that make us comfortable and leave us feeling as though we need them in our lives.
When toxic relationships are burdensome, some of us will not acknowledge that the situation isn’t working for us. Instead, we tell ourselves that we’ll just try harder to make things work. We become ultra-nice, but do so out of fear, and that’s not a workable strategy. Setting legitimate boundaries is good practice and communicating those boundaries can protect our hearts and maintain the peace of Christ in our lives.
God tells us in Proverbs 4:23(NLT), “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Guarding our hearts means that we must watch what comes into them and what goes out of them, and the goal of doing this is to have a heart that remains loyal to our Heavenly Father. As a child of God, you are set apart for His purpose. This requires you to distinguish yourself from others, and you do this by having boundaries or uncrossable lines that keep you anchored in Godliness, and therefore, keep you anchored in His peace. You can’t allow just anyone entrance into your life. You must be careful to keep “NO” within your comfort level and use it as often as necessary.
Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5:37(NLT), “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” This is a very uncomplicated and simple piece of wisdom to apply, and we should practice it in our lives every day. You don’t have to struggle to say “NO”. If a relationship is endangered simply because you took a stance for your own peace and well-being, then you must question whether that relationship was beneficial and strong in the first place. A person that is truly in your corner will understand that you are doing what is in your best interest, and they will not take offense or pressure you.
Colossians 3:15(ESV) says, “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” It’s a choice to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. It requires us to decide that we will practice peace by preserving the boundaries that keep certain people and relationships at a distance. We don’t have to be mean, rude, or petty, but we should be kind to ourselves and take a temporary or permanent break from certain individuals. Pray and ask the Lord to help you set and maintain boundaries that preserve your peace, and be committed to a firm “NO” to anyone or anything that doesn’t support you and your well-being.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
“Setting Boundaries That Preserve Your Peace”, written by Reverend Fran Mack. Edits by Kim Times and K. Stephens for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.