Psalm 32:8-11(NLT)
“8 The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. 9 Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” 10 Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the LORD. 11 So rejoice in the LORD and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!”
When you’re traveling down an unfamiliar path, and you get lost, what do you do? How do you handle bumps in the road and wrong turns along the way? Do you stay the course, or do you veer off and get on another path? In relationships, the path can get bumpy along the way. We think we’re heading in the right direction, but then something happens, and we realize we’ve taken a wrong turn. A friend faced a situation like this. She had been dating a man for seven months. He has a child and she doesn’t. They had a few hiccups in their relationship when he couldn’t show up because he had daddy duty. She was handling it at first, but when he canceled on escorting her to a huge family celebration because his daughter was sick, she became very upset. She began to think that dating a man with children under 18 was the wrong path for her, but was it?
In significant relationships, sometimes we don’t realize how much we have to stretch in faith and spiritual maturity to make things work. We underestimate the level of love, compassion, patience, and understanding relationships require. When children are involved, this can be multiplied exponentially. The dynamics change because the care of children will continually be a priority, and the balance between your needs and their needs is sometimes a challenging one to strike. In this situation, the question a single woman of God would need to ask is whether she believes God has called her to be in the lives of this father and child.
God said in Isaiah 55:9(NLT), “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Controlling details and outcomes is something many of us try to do in our relationships. We like to manage our expectations as closely as possible to avoid heartache, but things almost never come out exactly the way we envision. People evolve and change at a pace they set for themselves, and no human being has the right to infringe on that or try to change someone by applying pressure. That just isn’t Godly. Our Heavenly Father is the One in control. He sees everything, and He knows the future. He knows the path you should be on to achieve the very best life you can live.
In Ephesians 1:16-19(NLT), the Apostle Paul prayed for God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ to give His people “spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. 19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him.” As God’s children living in these dark and modern times, there’s a lot coming at us, and it’s not good. If we listen to society, we might become selfish and develop a sense of entitlement, but this is not the way of Christ. Like Paul, we must pray that our hearts will be flooded with light and revelation to guide us along the path that God has purposed for our lives.
The road isn’t always easy. Significant relationships can be incredibly challenging at times, but God is faithful to strengthen us as we seek to do His Will and bless those that He has ordained us to bless. God knows our capability and we should be praying to have a fuller vision of it ourselves. If we think we lack the patience, generosity, and compassion to date a single father, we should seek the Lord before dismissing the relationship altogether. It could be that we’re in a season of greater spiritual growth and maturity, and our Heavenly Father may be calling us to stretch in faith like never before.
Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT) tells us, “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Our lives are in the Father’s extremely capable hands. He commands us to trust His leadership and guidance. So, the bottom line is that we need to stop leaning on our own understanding. We need to ask our Heavenly Father to reveal the right person for us, and we need to pray and ask Him to condition our hearts and minds to love this person (and their children) through the love of Christ. Dating a person that has a child doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. It could very well be a blessing that increases your faith, expands your heart, and ultimately causes you to walk closer with God and be the happiest you’ve ever been. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“God Will Guide You to the Best Path”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.