Luke 14:28-29(NLT)
28 “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? 29 Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. 30 They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’”
In 1Corinthians 3:10, the Apostle Paul said that God made him a master builder, and as such, he laid a foundation. This distinction is not just given to Paul, but to all of us that desire a quality existence for ourselves. Through his life, sacrifice, and resurrection, Jesus Christ laid the foundation on which all our lives should rest. We can walk in his victory through our faith in him, and the way that we do this is by following the blueprint he left us through his example. Our Master Jesus wasn’t resentful or bitter. He wasn’t arrogant or boastful, and he was never lazy or impatient. When it comes to marrying the person that God sends to us, we can’t be any of these things if we want a marital union that is strong and beautiful.
It’s no secret that just like any other relationship, marriage is work. It’s a huge responsibility. One of the things that holds us back in our pursuit of marriage is that we underestimate the level of spiritual maturity and effort it takes. All of us think we’re prepared for it, but the reality is that only God knows this. He doesn’t punish or get angry with us when we’re not spiritually prepared for marriage. Instead, when we pray to meet the person that will walk with us through life, God helps us to grow in all the areas that might hinder the happiness and strength of our future union.
Resentment and Bitterness
Resentment and Bitterness are often a result of hurtful experiences from our past. Either from heartbreak over past significant relationships or other events that have injured us emotionally, a mix of anger, hurt, and regret are the recipe for resentment in our hearts. Over time, this resentment can turn into bitterness, which causes us to have an angry view of the world and others. It’s a negative attitude that eats away at us internally, and it can destroy our relationships. God tells us in Ephesians 4:31-32(NLT), “31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
When we’re resentful, we hold grudges for disagreements or disappointing incidents of the past. We don’t let the person off the hook and keep bringing up these past issues. We keep holding it over their heads and if we do this, no matter what we think or say, we are refusing to forgive the person that wronged us. Jesus Christ teaches us in Matthew 6:14-15(NLT), “14 If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Refusing to forgive is detrimental to our spiritual well-being because it injures our relationship with God.
Arrogance and Impatience
We don’t have the right to be resentful and bitter, and there’s nothing about any of us that warrants arrogance and boasting. 1Samuel 2:3(NLT) tells us, “Stop acting so proud and haughty! Don’t speak with such arrogance! For the LORD is a God who knows what you have done; he will judge your actions.” Arrogance is a sin, and God doesn’t like it. Proverbs 16:18 tells us that arrogance will lead to a fall. There’s nothing good that can come from this prideful spirit. God commands us to turn our backs on this sin and humble ourselves before Him. He tells us in Philippians 2:3(NLT), “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.”
Being married is a beautiful thing. It’s an opportunity to grow and sow into the life of someone you love in a bountiful way, but we must never forget that marriage is God’s institution. Every aspect of it is governed by Him and His Word. Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 14:28-29 to count the cost, which means we should evaluate ourselves and make an honest assessment of whether we’re spiritually prepared to partner. Are you harboring resentment and bitterness? Do you make a habit of holding grudges, and what about arrogance? Do you look down on others and do you think that things like a degree, financial stability, or attractiveness are a reason to place yourself above everyone else?
Being impatient with people and being lazy about our relationship with God and service to others are also attributes that can severely injure our marriages. As future spouses that are praying to meet the person we’re going to marry, we must lay bare before our Heavenly Father and fess up about the heavies that are in our hearts. Our tendencies towards resentment, bitterness, arrogance, impatience, and laziness can both blind and block us from the opportunity we desire most. To please God and accelerate our walk down that aisle, we must set a course to grow closer to our Heavenly Father by growing more spiritually mature. We must have the courage to ask Him to reveal the things in our hearts that are keeping us from marriage. Then, when He reveals this truth, open your heart to Him as He helps you prepare for marriage in a way that He requires. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Am I Ready for My Spouse?”, written by KLizzie, edited by Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.