What Christians Need to Know About Idolizing Relationships
We’ve all been there.
That relationship you thought would last forever—the one you prayed about, cried over, dreamed up plans around. Then it ends. And suddenly, you feel like you’ve lost your center. That was me. A relationship I was sure would end in marriage ended instead in tears, confusion, and a soul that felt like it had nowhere to land.
I was walking around with a short fuse, crying at the smallest things, trying to pretend I was fine—but I was wrecked. And one day, sitting in that broken place, I opened my Bible and landed on Exodus 20:3-4 (NLT):
“You must not have any other god but me. You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea.”
It stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t want to admit it, but I had made that man an idol. Not intentionally. But little by little, I’d started building my hope, my identity—even my sense of peace—around someone who wasn’t God or my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
When We Put People in God’s Place – Emotional Healing from Idolatry
It wasn’t until I was talking to my mother about the pain that I was in that she said something that really shook me:
“You’re worshiping that man. Snap out of it.”
It felt harsh. But it was true.
I had poured so much of myself into the relationship that I forgot who I was before it. I forgot who God was in it. And that’s how idols work—they sneak in when our hearts start placing people, desires, or dreams above our Creator.
Exodus 34:14 (NLT) says, “You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.” We can’t get it twisted—God isn’t insecure. He’s not intimidated by our love stories. He just knows that no person on this earth can carry what only He was meant to hold. Your heart? That belongs to Him first. Your identity? Formed by Him. Your future? Secure in Him.
Spiritual Healing Starts With Surrender
I didn’t feel better overnight. But I did get honest. I asked God to help me reset my heart. To show me where I’d handed over too much. I asked Him to forgive me for turning a man into a mirror of my worth. I prayed Psalm 51:10 (NLT):
“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.”
Not a perfect heart. Not a flawless one. Just a clean one—a heart that worships God above anything or anyone else. That prayer became my anchor. It reminded me that healing doesn’t just come from “getting over it.” It comes from getting back in alignment with God.
How to Move on after Idolizing a Relationship – Let Go and Let God
The Holy Spirit will always lead us in truth—if we let Him. But if our hearts are cluttered with compromise, comparison, or emotional chaos, we’ll miss the signs. We’ll excuse red flags. We’ll cling to what we should be releasing.
That’s why soul work is so important in this season. Not just so you can avoid heartbreak, but so you can walk into the kind of love that reflects God’s goodness. And let’s be clear: you don’t have to chase that kind of love. It knows how to find you.
Putting God First and Keeping Him There
If you’re hurting, healing, or just realizing you’ve put too much hope in a person—you’re not alone. God isn’t mad at you. He must be God in your life and can never accept second position—that’s not who He is. To have a clean heart, renewed vision, and a posture that pleases Him, you must let Him take His rightful place.
He is jealous for you—not because He’s controlling, but because He’s loving. Because He knows that idols disappoint, but He never will.
Prayer
Dear Father God,
I repent for any way I’ve placed someone else in the seat that belongs only to You. Forgive me for worshiping a relationship more than I trusted Your Will. I ask You to cleanse my heart, heal what’s been broken, and re-center my soul in You. Thank You for loving me enough to call me back. I want to live with You as my first love—faithful, surrendered, and whole.
In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Soul Work & Reflection:
- What’s taking up the most space in your heart right now—God or someone else?
- Have you ever looked to a relationship to define your value? What did that cost you emotionally or spiritually?
- Ask God to reveal if you’ve placed any idol in your life. What’s one step you can take this week to surrender that area to Him?
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“When Love Becomes An Idol”, written by Kim Times, edited by Rev. Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.
