As human beings, we crave love, and whether we’re willing to admit it or not, most would do almost anything to have it. Many people today are still searching for that special someone, and they hope this person will shower them with the love they’ve always wanted. It’s no secret that there are disproportionately more single women desiring a committed relationship than men. They hope to find a man that has qualities comparable to their own, and that this quest will ultimately lead to marriage. They also hope this will not be prolonged much longer. Most single believers desiring marriage recognize that having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way to make it a reality. Every step that a person takes towards increasing their faith in Christ is impactful, and this is one of the reasons it’s so important to be led by the Spirit in all you do, especially when it comes to your desire for marriage.
The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” From the very beginning of our lives, as infants, we are comforted and become established in the unconditional love from our parents. Knowing that our parents or guardians will always be supportive and will never walk away from us should establish the first foundation of love in our hearts. For many, this expectation of love, care, and support is rooted in us from infancy, but as we grow, our expectations for and about love should change. As children, our parents were our lords—they were supposed to be our everything. But as Paul tells us in God’s Word, when we mature and develop into adults, it is necessary for us to let go of childish things.
We are not perfect, and neither are our parents. Sometimes the foundation that gets established in us doesn’t help us build faith, but in some areas work against our faith. We grow up holding on to and nurturing immaturity. Some generational stuff gets passed on, and we may have insecurities and fears that we’ve not confronted or owned. These immature tendencies block us from developing mature faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is crucial to handle this business of removing the blockers, and to do it before we’re in the most significant relationships of our lives. The person we’ll marry will be the individual we minister to most. They will be most impacted by our spiritual walk in Christ, and if we are not prepared to help them in the way that God has purposed, we’ve got a problem.
Discovering God’s love is transformative. He has shown us through Christ that love is about what we do and has very little to do with what we say. Our loving Lord and Savior paid the ultimate price for us. Because of his overwhelming love, he sacrificed his life as payment for our sins. He said in John 15:13(NLT), “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” When we accept the love of Christ in our hearts, we then must love as he loves, share as he shares, and give as he gives. This is the least we can do for all that he has done for us.
1 John 3:16(MSG) says, “ This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.” We must understand that sacrifice is necessary in love; Jesus Christ has shown us this, and it is this sacrificial aspect of love that many people refuse to see. Meeting the person we will marry can’t be a desire born out of selfishness or self-agendas. If it is, the relationship won’t have a solid foundation. But when a relationship is built on the solid foundation of Christ, it will last. This means that, with our future spouses, we will come into the union with a measure of spiritual maturity that God has stamped “READY!”
Right now, we don’t yet know all the ways in which we’re missing the mark in the love of God in Christ, but God knows. He knows our every weakness, and He sees the problems and situations in our futures that we are not yet spiritually mature enough to handle. The psalmist prayed in Psalm 27:10-11(NLT), “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O LORD. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me.” This must be our constant prayer. You have an enemy that seeks to keep you separated from our future spouse, but God will teach you how to love through Him and keep your union strong. He will show you how to love so that you fulfill the plan He has for you and your spouse. Be patient, and let the Spirit lead you along this right path. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Show Me How to Love”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.